How do other aspies cope with babies, young children..

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I couldn't let my children cry much either and fed them on demand. It always seemed incredible that people could let their kids cry it out for hours.

I know how you feel, I have Hyperacusis, sensitivity to sudden loud noises. Which sounds like what you might have. I always am having trouble with loud young children in public places. It seems parents these days feel that if someone tells their angel, they can't behave as completely unruly as their neglectful parents allow them to at home, that they have a right to lash out at that person like a wild animal defending their young.

Even when I explain I can't sit next to loud children, and why at resturants, they can't handle seating me somewhere quiet. It's a common problem when you have an invisible disability. Appearantly if you aren't in a wheelchair, or look disabled, whatever disability you may have simply doesn't exsist. I don't like getting angry at children, or their parents. Most parents I talk to though are extremely uncooperative about the issue. They insist that they have a right to live in their bubble, and anyone who doesn't want to sit next to children, even if they have a valid reason, must hate children.

It's like I say, having a child doesn't entitle you to behave at the age of your child.

I love children and over the years manage to be able to ignore the noise mostly, as they do have to be children. But I do agree with you when you say that some adults act more like children in public places, if you have children I totally agree you should be responsible for them.

There is a place and time for everything, and restaurants are not the place to take children that scream and shout at the expense of paying customers. My children would never do that, as I have tough them to be respectful in public places and if they did, I would take responibility for them and even if that meant having to leave to claim the child down....

But as I also know it can be so hard for some adults to control especially children on the spectrum and people should not prejudge. If a child is out of control and the parent is trying there best to control the situation, then I think anyone around should support and help that person, if the adult wants help that is. What I'm talking about is when the adult is acting as bad as the child, being a bad example...

I can identify.

I have two children, both are autistic, and they're two and four. My four year old screamed the first day she was born, and that's how she cried, always. It was hell, I didn't know I was an aspie yet, and I just thought I was a horrible mother because I struggled so much with the noise. It literally hurt my body, there's no other way to describe it. She finally grew out of it around 2 1/2.

My son was a quiet baby, but he is a LOUD toddler. He has frequent meltdowns (can't handle it when we redirect him from something he had in his head, or when we say "no"). He's not a brat, he's just mostly non-verbal and he is very smart...so communication is SO frustrating for him. He knows what he wants and needs, and is probably trying to compromise...and he can't.

I want an iPod, really bad!

My husband understands my sensory issues. We have those noise-muffling headphone things, we use them. If I need a break, I go do my grocery shopping while he watches the kids. During the day my son naps for a good hour during the afternoon, so I relax then. Mostly I have to just deal with it though. It helps to know that communication will improve and so will the meltdowns (I hope!) in time.

I don't know. I think I might be able to spot the difference between a parent with NT kids acting up, and parents with a Autistic spectrum kid who can't control their behaviour. I could be wrong though. I would think being on the spectrum would give you something like an Autie-dar with people.

I wouldn't have three kids if I didn't enjoy invations in bed, the smell of somebody who's intestinies probably have rottened, leaking tits, and a very close friend sleeping with windows open even though it's -27 celsius outside.

I don't regret a minute of the joy and pain my three (well four) kids give me I also have quite strong bonds to all my three kids, because they have all been delivered by surgical means due to birth complications (big kids that simply couldn't come out the natural way) so I was the first to take care of them while their mother woke up from the narcosis. If you never been attending a emergency style delivery, I can tell you It takes less than a minute.

I should mention I still love my ex but not enough to live with her. We're close friends though, and we live within walking range from eachother. I have keys to her house and she have keys to my flat. So does the kids. We don't take it "2 weeks at you, 2 weeks at me", we allow the kids to choose. They love it, since they can get a relief from their pesticidical brothers/sisters whenever they want....

Holding onto my three-week old nephew was quite challenging for me.

I dislike babies because of the sound.

I dislike young children because most of the time, they are selfish. (As in, 'Thats MY toy!')

Apparently, I was a very quiet baby, I didnt cry once during the night, nor did I scream at anyone.

I just...stared...apparently....that unsettled most of my neighbors.

All I know is that the bond between me and my children is unbelievable. I can't imagine being closer to anyone except my husband. I generally don't like children- other people's kids drive me nuts. I don't like to hold other people's babies either. I don't like when other kids come over to play at my house, especially unruly, intrusive children who think they own everything their friends have- my neighbor's kid is like that. He's even snuck across the street when my hubby was out doing yardwork- the garage door was open, snuck into our house, and made himself right at home in my son's room, playing with his toys. His mother is obviously not very attentive and I can't stand her either- she's intrusive and annoying.

What amazes me is that attachment to my kids was so instantaneous. 2 are adopted and were placed in our home at 4 and 6 months old. The minute I agreed to their placements, I was already in love with them. When I brought them home, there was no adjustment period to attach to them, I already was. We had a failed match in between them where we were told that we'd get to pick up a newborn at the hospital in a few days, we went shopping, prepared for her, had named her, and then we found out that her mother came back and claimed her- she was surrendered under CA's Safe HAven Law. I was devastated. I had never even seen a picture of my daughter, but I loved her and it was very hard for me to deal with. I took 6 months to grieve before we accepted another placement.

I will be very disappointed if we do not get the baby we are waiting to hear about. It's so hard to be told there's a baby available for you and wait around for a week to find out if you got him- agonizing. I'm glad I've not seen pictures or anything, that would make it harder. I know there's another one out there for us if this match does not work out, but it's hard to wait and see.

You are correct, I have no children and would not wish any lest the social torture of Aspergers is passed on.

Oh, I agree, its basiclly the diease of giftedness.

sadly, however, the rest of the world isnt like that,. and i've had my fair share of scornful comments. All of which have caused me to loose faith in humanity.

I am also proud of what I am, a 'social ret*d' who's creative writings have won me many awards.

Friends and lovers lost, but only recognition gained. Sometimes i'm overjoyed with tears; other times, the tears feel like acid dripping down over my crunched up face.