28 Nov 2007, 1:40 am
wsmac
Veteran
Joined: 31 Aug 2007
Age: 65
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,888
Location: Humboldt County California
28 Nov 2007, 1:51 am
Taking this to a different level for a moment...
I am now divorced (Sept. 1) from a woman who stated as one of her problems with staying married to me was my ADD/HD.
I have been diagnosed with it two times, 10 yrs apart.
She was actually the first person to ever mention the possibility that I might have it.
She's a Pediatrician!
So... if someone like her can find it hard to deal with a person who frustrated her often with their ADD/HD, there's no reason why a parent wouldn't get the same frustration from dealing with a kid who had some unique traits such as AS.
The big difference is that the parent wouldn't 'divorce' their child... would they? 
Seriously, I'm glad you see that you are not alone.
I have gotten frustrated with my daughter and gave her a talkin' to over issues just like those mentioned here.
I've had to learn to calm down, think the situation out, and apologize to her with an explanation to help her understand.
I feel like I'm getting better at it. I never was too terrible, but having an incident like that just once-in-a-while can still make relationships hard.
The big thing is to recognize it and work from there.
I'm impressed at so many parents here who show how much concern they have for their children. 
28 Nov 2007, 2:03 am
wsmac:
somedays i think i'd like that option
but i love my kiddos and would'n be able to live without them.
28 Nov 2007, 4:48 am
Hi,
sometimes I react badly and make a good situation bad 
. It really jolts me into reflecting on my behaviour and after an outburst, I'm much more patient and calmer. The remorse though is awful.
All the best,
Temma
28 Nov 2007, 1:35 pm
My son (11 years old) and I were having a nice, relaxing morning, sitting around waiting for the bus to show up, when I made the huge mistake of putting something into his binder. I discovered a completely empty (uncompleted) assignment, given to him the day school let out for Thanksgiving vacation. Apparently in science they watched a Bill Nye movie, and had this sheet with questions on it that they were supposed to fill out during the movie. Obviously, my son completely zones out during these movies. Had I known that it was completely unfilled out, I would have been able to contact a neighbor and we could have easily filled out the sheet, with the help of a friend who has the same teacher in science, over the vacation.
I flew into a complete fit over this -- tried to get him to complete some of the sheet before he got onto the bus, with only five minutes of time, and I was totally irrational and crazy. He, of course, was very upset, and began to cry. So we go outside to wait for the bus, and as he leaves, I see him sitting by himself, and I feel like the worst mother in the world.
Zoning out during classes is a hallmark of this whole diagnosis -- why can't I be more understanding of that? Why didn't I check his binder when he got home last Wednesday? Why don't I understand that dealing with this later would have been a better way of handling it, rather than upsetting him on his way to school? I just got mad at my husband for doing something somewhat similar to this, and what do I do? THE EXACT SAME THING!
What kind of person does this to a sweet, kind, wonderful kid who may already have problems at school without the added detriment of being made upset just before he gets on the bus? ARGGGHHH! What is wrong with me!
Oy, don't be quite so hard on yourself mama. Yes, zoning is a hallmark of the diagnosis, but you still want the best for your son and this includes his success in school. Also, it was a holiday, and things are crazy at the holidays. Your frustration here seems to be mostly at yourself for not noticing, not at him for not completing the work. Explain to him that it wasn't him you were upset at, say what you'd like to see happen next time, and let him know you'll both go through his things together when he gets home to make sure everything is all done.
The only thing "wrong" with you is that you're human. You can't be perfect every day.
28 Nov 2007, 4:00 pm
wsmac
Veteran
Joined: 31 Aug 2007
Age: 65
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,888
Location: Humboldt County California
28 Nov 2007, 11:34 pm
This is ABSOLUTELY the truth. You hit the nail on the head.
Kris
I can see that I have a lot to learn!
I made several posts, wrote hundreds of words... and SIUAN GOT IT IN ONE SMALL PARAGRAPH?
I'll just let her post first from now on!
At least I helped take this to three pages!
Seriously, glad you're feeling better... or at least it seems so!
| Similar Topics | |
|---|---|
| First time reaching out to a neurodiverse community! |
23 Oct 2024, 4:35 pm |
|
I washed today
in Bipolar, Tourettes, Schizophrenia, and other Psychological Conditions |
28 Nov 2024, 7:48 am |
| Hi all, I joined today and hope to stay! |
08 Dec 2024, 6:56 pm |
| new today so glad to have found this forum |
01 Nov 2024, 10:10 am |
