Potty Issues - Are We Alone?

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Potty training was probably my most difficult skill to master as a child. I wasn't fully trained until about three years of age, and I wasn't a slow learner in other areas. Even at school, I was reluctant to use the toilet in public. Public restrooms still gross me out.

My son was not trained until he was almost 5 and in school...Even then, we still have some minor issues, but overall, he's been pretty good. Has rarely wet the bed. He seems to be better at figuring out #1, and going for that...than #2...but, he's pretty good. It's been a year now.

For the longest time he would NOT do #2 in the potty...he always wanted diapers for that...and believe it or not, I bought every book and potty training toilet and nothing worked...until one day I told him to "go push it" and "CLOSED THE DOOR!" After that, and until this day, he does #2 but ONLY with the door closed...if we even attempt to help him, he has a fit! On the other hand, #1, he doesn't care to leave the door open in our house...Actually, he doesn't like wearing clothing so being naked is no big deal to him either...just "pushing it"!

Ok, no laughing, here's the song...kind of to "rap" beat...I can't rap and I can't sing...hehe

"I pushed it, I pushed it...push, push...I push it, I push it, push, push..." Ah yes, ridiculous, but it worked!

We have arranged a meeting with the teacher and paras at school for Monday to discuss whether they feel she is making progress with the potty issue, and whether they feel she is feeling too much pressure or embarrassment over it. We asked if we could visit the classroom and watch to see how she reacts to potty breaks and, well just everything, and the teacher says we are certainly welcome.

But she doesn't think we will get an accurate picture because my granddaughter (and the others as well) will be aware that we're there and may act different than usual. So she suggested video taping her - which would require getting permission from the parents of the other students who are in the Resource Room in the mornings. I guess that would depend on whether they would tape the whole morning, or just portions. So easy to edit that I'm not sure I feel we'd get a realistic idea that way either.

The teacher also called our therapist, and he thinks she's as much of a looney as we do (seriously she has some real issues), but now that we have a firm diagnosis we can sit down and have a serious talk about the issues we're all facing here.

I'm pleased you're having a meeting.
Video is a really good idea. It would be worth getting the other kids parent's permission as they could then use video for them at another point.
Is it the teacher or the child who is "looney"?
All our kids have issues, autism leads to all kinds of behaviour - but usually the reason is quite "logical" when you learn to understand the way your kid/grandchild thinks.

Yes Kim, the bowels can be affected by food allergies and intolerances. My guy is going on 5 and will be in Kindergarten next year. He has never peed in the toilet and has only had one BM in the toilet last summer. On top of this, he has a stomach tube and is exclusively fed this way, meaning he has an all-liquid diet.

He knows that pushing BM out takes effort and can accomplish this during an enema. So far, it all really seems that for him, (a)it is either totally up to him to decide to want to go on the potty or (b) he does not have awareness of when his bladder is full or is in the process of emptying. We just don't know yet. Personally, I would be comfortable with him wearing pull-ups if he is not ready yet.

Lunacie, same here i'm 27 and had the same issue as your child, too as a child and somewhat still do. i can control it usually, but some days i have to go like 3-5 times in couple hours then it's fine for the rest of the day. I also think it has to do with anxiety somewhat too. cause it usually happens when i wake up for couple hours then it is fine.

Are you sure that the sound of the flushing toilet does not bother her? My son used to be very afraid of public toilets because the flushing sound is much louder. He's still afraid of automatic flushing toilets.

my daughter went through a period of time when she was afraid of the flushing toilets and hand dryers......we had to resort to letting her leave the bathroom with wet hands while we flushed the toilet.

Her sister Katlin is sensitive to sounds and the toilet flushing (especially in public toilets) has always bothered her and used to scare her. She would cover her ears. But that has never seemed to be a problem with NoveMber, at least she doesn't overtly react like her sister does.

Those air hand dryers are so loud!! ! They bother me too. Especially if I'm trapped in a cubicle, not finished with my own business yet, when someone else washes their hands and turns on the dryer.


I didn't realize the therapist is going to be there for this meeting. WooHoo! He is very curious to meet the teacher from the resource room. When she first started sending home a notebook with remarks about what kind of day NoveMber had, the writing would be different every day. We thought maybe different para-teachers were writing the notes and finally had a chance to ask, but it was the same teacher every day. Makes us wonder if her personality changes along with her handwriting? That would be confusing for anyone, let alone an Autist who has trouble with transitions, eh?

Lunacie~ my handwriting changes depending upon whether or not I'm in a hurry or distracted.

Yeah, mine does too, and I considered that. But this isn't just a difference between having enough time or being rushed. It really looks like more than one person wrote the notes. We were all shaking our heads.

oh

I always used to write in print and then decided to change because my handwriting was terrible. I decided to use a 16th century Italic style (because it was my favorite), but I often switch back. In addition, this style may or may not be connected, making it essentially two different styles. And each can change depending on my speed of writing. In extreme cases, I could appear to have the handwriting of six or more people.

Thanks for your response. It was very strange getting the notebook with two different entries for the same day, different writing, different colored ink, just very different, but all written by the same person. And we'd see other styles of writing or printing on other pages of the notebook. It really does look like the handwriting of at least 5 or 6 different people, and was very confusing to us. And to the therapist when we shared the notes with him - because of concerns about what was happening with the little one at school not because of the strangeness of the teacher, but that is certainly strange.

SSSCCCRRREEEAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!! !! !

I really thought this school system was better than some, or even most. But ARRGGGHHHHH. We bring up our concerns and almost the first thing out of the principle's mouth is that "Nove is being manipulative." Of course, she adds, she only sees her at lunch or in the hallway so what do the other teachers think?

The sub for the Resource Teacher, who has only been working with Nove about 5 - 6 weeks agrees, and says she thinks Nove is using the potty issues when she doesn't want to do some particular worksheet or activity. Which has only happened once since she's been there even though there have been several instances when she didn't want to do a particular worksheet or activity and didn't have any accidents.

We disagreed with her, but unfortunately that didn't get into the record as the person keeping records needed to leave and had already passed around the notes for everyone to sign. (Actually my son-in-law was biting his lip through most of the meeting to keep from cussing at those two women so he didn't say much.)

The principle said she doesn't think Nove is autistic, and the therapist didn't make it to the meeting to explain what he was basing his diagnosis on. But since when does the principle get to second-guess a therapist? In a structured environment like school they aren't seeing her stims, but they are seeing her meltdowns, and see her blaming herself when she simply can't cope, saying things like "It's all my fault. I'll never be able..." to do whatever it is they want her to do, or whatever they won't let her do until she does what they want her to do. How is blaming herself manipulating others?

i'd get a child advocate ASAP....or what about your child's doc or therapist ?