What will my child be like in 10 years time?

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Our family are all aspies and doing very well. We have three children, a son(22yrs), a daughter(20yrs) and our youngest son(9yrs). I remember shortly after diagnosis, needing to read of positive outcomes for the future, rather than the 'doom and gloom' I'd read online. I wrote an article just yesterday on this entitled "Advice/Support for Parents of Newly Diagnosed Children":
http://aspie-editorial.blog-city.com/advicesupport_for_parents_of_newly_diagnosed_children.htm
Our eldest two are both in long-term relationships, are both working and studying, living independently. My daughter and I were both considered 'selective mutes' as children(if interested, that's a whole other article you'll find on the same site).

It's been great reading more positive stories here . All the best.

I would if I knew how. Anyone else know?

While this thread is open, click on the u-r-l at the top of the browser window. copy the u-r-l

Go to the general forum, start a thread and give it the name of "What will YOUR AS child be like as an adult" and post that there's a discussion thread going on for this subject that needs everyone' thoughts -- from kids to parents to AS adults then paste the link in that thread.

Simple, but because I'm new here, I can't use HTML in my threads.

Update on the SSI Hearing. I had to postpone it at the last minute because my employer would not give me the time off I needed. Awaiting another date to be set by the Administrative Law Judge.

In reviewing my original posting, I should have indicated that I am always proud of C. and even though there are 'issues', I'm trying to assess whether each 'issue' is AS related or age-related. (I'll be posting some of these issues later and soliciting input.)

The tantrums are long gone; they gradually declined over his middle school years. He's very quiet and likes to 'compartmentalize' his two lives -- the one at home and the one at campus. That's been a trait since HS.

To raise another subject in this thread, is anyone with AS getting vocational rehabilition from their state?

(This is a state operated program for the disabled to help train skills and help find employment. It may provide money for training and education, depending on each state's laws.)

I'm 43 and have aspergers. I deteriorated in my teens and twenties, in the sense that I fell behind socially and economically. My family was not supportive which made things much harder, plus I got a lot of bad advice on how to succeed in life. In my 30s and 40s my social skills and ability to take care of myself in relationships have improved, and I put myself in the driver's seat with respect to employment in my 30s (shift to self-employment, though I will admit I'm still not earing money yet, but will sooner or later).

People with Aspergers are likely to be late bloomers in at least some ways, so you need to allow for that. Also, the only life really worth living is one that comes from inside, and the sooner you shift to that perspective the easier it is in the long term.

I never had tantrums, so don't know anything about how that goes.

I'm AS but I didn't know until recently. I flourished and have a good job, family etc... I was once the same as my 7 year old son is now.

You don't grow out of aspergers but you learn to suppress things, to imitate and to hide well. If you find the right friends, you can even be yourself in public sometimes.

I don't know what the effect of knowing that you're aspergers at a young age will have on the current crop of children though.

re: vocational services....i've got the phone number for the person in our area, but haven't gotten any further than that. i've been told by our vocational coordinator at the school i teach at that son probably won't qualify for help until he's 18....he's 16 now...

I am the mother of a 17 year old daughter with HFA. When she was 10 years old I had the same wonders and concerns. Rest assured that your child will flourish and surpass all of your hopes and dreams for him. My daughter Katy has been an inspiration and a joy to me every day of her life.

I have learned to look at autism as a gift and not a condition. We all have our little quirks and weird afflictions. This one just comes with a label. Give your child encouragement. Tell him that he can do anything and be anything in this world he wants, all he has to do is try.

I once had a Dr tell me that my daugher would never go to college and most likely never leave my home. That she would probably not mature past the age of 10. HA! Wish he could see her now!! !

Your child will be fine! Nurture what your child loves and don't ever treat him differently than you do anyone else. Let him be who he is and love him for it!

MamaTia

Beautifully put MamaTia.

Thank you Gavin!

Annie:

I was diagnosed in elementary school as "broken" (PDD-nos). I had discipline problems, yet I excelled in academics. I think I was probably on the verge of self-destructing much of the time. Slowly I learned some coping skills, including some directly from my mom. I stayed in small schools so that I could get attention when I needed it but skip subjects when that was more appropriate. (That wasn't cheap - I'm still paying for that small private college.) Despite the troubles, and the occasional major meltdown, I'm now a successful professional, married, with a child. I was re-evaluated last year and had my label changed to Aspie. This came with some additional coping strategies and therapies for adult-life.

Honestly, I think it was harder on my mother than it was on me. Deep down inside, you want your child to be happy and healthy. Any road block to that, especially a persistent one, can be very frustrating. Hang in there, be supportive of your

-Anne

ps. Dad_of_Aspie - Thanks for such a detailed story about your son. I'm glad he fond a job that fits him. Good luck with the foolish hearings. My friend went through that process about 2 years ago for a different disability. The process was really exhausting, but she won in the end.

I think that would be me. I'm working with a DRS rep in Minnesota. We are about to be put on a waiting list for a work evaluation study like program at a local Goodwill headquarters. If all goes well I'll be helping them pack books up and preparing them for their Ebay like website.

My non-verbal daughter used to get vocational rehabilitation. We tried her in three jobs. Once she found out what she had to do to get fired, she did it. Now she lives her obsessive life of leisure in her own home and is a happy person (until we violate one of her rules. I'm sporting some massive bruises because I took her to the doctor when she didn't want to go. But she's hardly ever violent any more)
We all change as we grow. I'm happy to see my daughter with autism, mental retardation, bi-polar, OCD, and a seizure disorder enjoying life now. I was afraid she would never enjoy life and that she would make sure I wouldn't either, but we are both doing well. My sweetie aspie son is programming for a video game company (the game he is working on now is receiving advance rave reviews) All he needs now is a geek wife. Anybody know a good Christian girl who is a little odd that would like a 26 yr old with a solid job?
Where I was at 13 (crying every single day) is different from where I was at 23 (graduated from college and giving birth to our first child) is different from where I am at 55.
We all change and learn coping mechanisms as we age. If you had seen me at six when the school diagnosed me as ret*d you would have never known I had a high IQ and would get a degree and a book published and raise five children and now go to Rwanda to have fun with the church people there and grow plants and build libraries etc.