'That's what kids do'

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OMG I HATE this one - my nephew's parents use that one to excuse his extremely aggressive behavior and cruelty to animals. "Aw, he's just a little boy!" I want to scream at them, "YES, AND IT'S YOUR JOB TO TEACH HIM RIGHT FROM WRONG!! WHY DON'T YOU????"

Because of my stance on animal/insect cruelty (I don't tolerate it), they think I am some kind of hippy freak vegetarian parent. (NOTHING wrong with vegetarians! I just happen not to be one.) They laughed at me. They said my son was "too sensitive" because he sobbed when his little cousin screamed repeatedly in his face, whispered "I hate you" repeatedly and spit in his face (all because my son just wanted to sleep in the car on a long drive). Ah yes, boys will be boys, indeed. And if you (my nephew's parents) try hard enough (or just don't try), your little boy can grow up to be a serial killer. Good luck with that. We shan't be visiting again.

I've also heard the "Oh all kids do that!" which basically always seems to mean "You're overreacting, it's nothing, what's all the fuss?" And I want to throttle these people, especially when they say this to me after I've just spent the last ten minutes trying to explain what AS is and the issues we've had at school. "All kids do that?" Really?? Then you can please go down to my son's school and patiently explain to all of his teachers and peers that ALL kids act like he does, and there's nothing to be concerned about whatsoever. How silly we've been, all these years, therapists, doctors, medication, weekly school meetings - all for naught! If I'd only met YOU before, I could've been assured that all this was normal, typical behavior for whatever age my son is! You could've saved us all so many years of worry and expense!"

</sarcasm>

This is why our son doesn't visit his cousins or grandmother on my side. I would never leave him unsupervised with any of them. I simply do not trust them to treat him well, or with sensitivity of any kind, and if something bad happened I don't trust them to tell me, either. Sad, but it is what it is. Of course, it also means we almost never get time to ourselves.

Argh, my mother got this too when I was growing up. My mother would go and talk to the parents of their kids who were bullying me and they would say "They're children, no big deal."
Also this father would tell her "It's normal, Stephanie gets teased too by her brothers."
Stephanie was one of my old friends. Her parents tolerated their sons teasing their daughter.



Also there was this boy who was mean to girls so he was mean to me just because I was a girl and his mother say to my mom "Boys will be boys." His whole family believed girls were weak and men were strong and it was okay to treat women badly. So the kid was mean to his little sister.


My mother says all these people were lazy parents and they didn't want to do their job.

"That's what the terrible 2s is all about." That's what I got with my 9 y/o DD- almost 8 years ago. AUGH!

2 year-olds don't typically throw tantrums so fierce that you have to bodily hold them down for fear that they are going to hurt themselves. 2 year-olds don't typically climb under piles of pillows and blankets for sensory deprivation when relatives come over because they can't handle the new people and the noise. Typical 2 year-olds(I'm talking 24 months old) don't learn alphabet puzzles, all the letter names, and sounds in 2 days. Typical 2 year-olds don't throw severe tantrums because the square peg won't fit in the round hole, they move on and do something else. Typical 2 year-olds don't spend 2 weeks at Grandpa's house visiting with Mom and at the end of 2 weeks still won't let Grandpa hold them.

Now, at nearly 10 years old it's a different story. She's a great kid and so helpful when it's doled out in small doses and she doesn't get overwhelmed, but she gets overwhelmed so easily. It's a hard line to walk with her. She's not a "normal" kid and I'm glad we have a diagnosis now. We should have realized before she was 6 that she was nor "normal, but then she is so much like me. "Normal" is overrated anyway.

I messed with butterflies and tore moths apart. Now I try not to excessively harm anything. Boys will by boys, but try to guide them like how my grandfather mentioned it was not nice to can moths and make mice suffer.




yeah, that's mean.

I can totally relate to that. From friends to family and co-workers....that statement has been said enough times to write a book! I honestly believe that my husbands entire family - with the exception of maybe 2 ppl. - think that I am a quack and that this is something I made up. I have recently expressed to my sons service coordinator that I am at a loss as to the language to use to express what is happening with my son and what he is experiencing. I can tell you what has helped me though. I just purchased the books Aspergers huh? and Can I tell you about Aspergers Syndrome. Those books are written geared toward children between the ages of 7-13. After reading them I have recently purchased a copy for few friends and family to keep. I did that for those times that they say to me just that - and then I can tell them to reference the book. If that doesnt work I dont know what will.

For this reason too - comments like the one you mentioned - is why I joined Wrong Planet.