Any autism spectrum parents with NT children?

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Thank you all for sharing. I am just a little concerned about my ability to relate to my children. I love them dearly, so much sometimes it aches in my heart just looking at them. And I do feel that I relate to them just fine (I love eye contact with my beautiful children), but when you know you (may) have AS, you doubt your social abilities. Just wondering if anyone else has anything to share, who is in this family structure. I certainly don't want to miss out on any part of the parent-child relationship. For instance, I know I am not able to 'show the way' for social interaction as fully as NT parents. Of course though, I talk to them about sharing and please and thank you and no hitting, stuff like that.

My younger son is 8 months old. Today Grandma came up to him and he just looked bewildered, like 'Why is this person looking at me and talking in such a loud and high-pitched voice?" He froze a little. He sees Grandma for at least a few minutes almost every day, so you'd think he'd be used to her. She picked him up, and he only stared at me intensely, but rather expressionless. OK, sorta Aspie-looking, but it is also totally normal for babies this age to have stranger anxiety. It's just too early to tell. I also can't vacuum, he is too scared. He even saw me push the (off) vacuum across the room to put it away and started screaming and trembling a little.

My 4yo is a social butterfly. Always was. He never even went through a stage of stranger anxiety when he was supposed to. He will jump in anyone's lap, even strangers, which freaks me out a little.

My husband has pretty severe ADHD, which we only found out about a few months ago, and he still denies that he even has it and won't see treatment for it or even educate himself about. But I read a pretty comprehensive book about adult ADHD and I can say with certainty that he does indeed have ADHD. And I see a lot of characteristics between my husband and our 4yo son.

I never heard of a connection between ADHD and autism before coming to this website. At this time I doubt the connection, but I will look into it more when I have the time.

ADHD and Aspergers can look very similiar. some of the symptoms overlap.

As far as your hubby's dx ( or lack of one), my hubby did not seek out a dx for himself or acknowledge that he had any issues until our son was dxed ( son was dxed when he was 13).

I'm sure you'll do a fine job as a mom. hubby is able to relate way better to my son than i am-and it's a wonderful thing to have someone understand the way son's brain works....i sure don't.

ADHD, ADD, Aspergers, PDDnos, Dyslexia, Dyscalculia, OCD, ODD, CD, SAD, SID!! !

They are all IMHO spectrum related! But to hell with the labels just call them JELLYBEANS. They all of them are so different but sooo similiar.

The National Autistic Society in the UK only recognise Autism and Aspergers, they leave the rest of us out in the cold! Grrrrrrrr!

I like the jellybean mix, or as Donna Williams says "fruit salad"

There still are so many variables and differences and far too many labels, for even those on the autism spectrum it can seem like one incomplete puzzle at times.

Being on the spectrum, and having Autism, Autistic Spectrum Disorder, Aspergers, High functioning, Low functioning and disorders that run parallel with the spectrum disorders and are treated the same but not on the spectrum like non verbal learning disorder – confused, to me they are all part and parcel of the same spectrum and I feel there should be one name.

Autism is like a web which is in the center and around it just some of the associated conditions people can have PDD, OCD, Social phobia, Anxiety, Bipolar, ADHD, ADD, Dyslexia, Dyscalculia, Dyspraxia, Tourettes Syndrome, speech disorders… It seems to depend on who you see, is what you get diagnosed with. There really needs to be a one stop place, for advice on not just autism spectrum disorders, but all the associated conditions as well. Trying to be diagnosed can be near impossible especially for adults; the whole system at present is far too disjointed.

My family are so deserve, we all knew most of us were different and because there were so many of us just excepted that, but never understood until now. I wasx disnoaed with asperger +_ many associated conditions last year, my older son has now been diagnosed who is so like me, and can see traits in my younger son.

I really do not have a problem with this and have no intension of trying to change or make them conform, but help them to understand and be who they are, allow and celebrate there different.

I really do not have a problem with this and have no intension of trying to change or make them conform, but help them to understand and be who they are, allow and celebrate there different.[/quote}

Love your attitude asplanet. Have sent you a pm!
x

Super. I love parents who don't vaccinate. Because of people like you, children are again dying of diseases once nearly eradicated from the face of the earth and children too young for certain routine vaccinations are at-risk of developing deadly diseases from exposure to non-vaccinated children. Thankfully the state I live in REQUIRES children to be vaccinated to attend school, though I wish it was also required for homeschooled children too. Unvaccinated children are a huge public health threat.

It's not just that I don't believe vaccines cause autism (I don't - my daughter showed signs from BIRTH), it's also that I would rather my kid have Asperger's than die a horrific death from a completely preventable disease. Ugh.

Also, I hope you're aware of the fact that by denying your child life-saving vaccines you're also denying them the chance to attend college. Colleges REQUIRE current and complete immunization records.

Thank you for the kind words. There are far greater risks for a child of mine with my medication and my age than having a child with Asperger's.

I am not getting into any kind of vaccine debate here. I started this thread for autism-affected parents to talk about the experience of parenting.

Son has dx of AS and ADHD. His father (my husband) believes himself to have AS, or certainly on the spectrum. It's said that there is "something" going on with the men in his family - his father, his grandfather, etc. The family has called it depression but I think a closer look might reveal AS/autistic tendencies. (FIL was a science teacher, his dad worked for an engineer....) One of our son's 2nd cousins (on my FIL's side) has just been dx'd with autism at 2-yrs of age.

I also have no dx, but believe myself to be on the spectrum. I was adopted, but know who my biological parents are, although I've only met one of them. She seems pretty NT, but my biological father evidently has had a lifetime of "failure to connect" with people, and exhibits a lot of anger and paranoia. His oldest daughter told me she believes he has some "issues" but that he's always refused to address/admit to them. He can be quite volatile. His own father was a bit of "an artistic rambler" and womanizer. His mother is still bitter after 50 years. No one on that side of my biological family is currently speaking to me. Frankly, ALL of them seem to have issues, but I can't say for sure if it's AS-related or what. With adults, it's often hard to tell if someone has long-term, unaddressed neurological issues, or if they're just jerks. Especially if they have anger-mgmt issues.

All I know is, I can't prove a thing. Oh well.

49 year Dad of 15 year NT daughter. She think Dad as weird as everybody else does

I know of 2 aspie mothers, each having one NT child in the mix. I will send them a link to this thread.

Each seems to have a good relationship with the NT child. One NT son is hitting puberty in a big way at the moment and I think any problems with him are related to this.

My NT 4yo just learned how to trick me. He will yell from the other room, "The baby has something!" And I will come running, and the baby is fine and he laughs at me.

LOL He is so cute, I laugh too.

NT children, Aspie mother topic

My three biological and vaccinated children are all NT.