My son has been dressing in his mom's clothes

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i am not sure i can fathom the religious aspects of this right now. i really wanted to see if it was necessarily related to Aspergers and being socially akward at meeting other sparticularly girls. he has always liked these superhero fantasy figures that come up out of the japanese game playing cards, games and internet stuff. particularly dominate cat women type figures that dress very sexually and threateningly. does that make sense? i know there are lots of challenges here to understand. that is why i posted first before i speak to him.

Cripes, there are fundies on here?!

A parent I am not. I am a friend of many people, though, and some of them are gay and/or trans.

Ignore what the bible-bashers are saying. This is perfectly normal, and if your son turns out to be gay or trans, accept him and love him for who he is.

It wouldn't be something I'd encourage him doing in public until he reaches college age, but it's probably okay if he does so in the privacy of your house. (For his safety.)

And,sometimes, regular, everyday, law abiding citizens are bisexual, or cross dressers. If only it were that easy to spot a serial killer, or rapist, a hang out for transvestites would be the first place police would look when a violent crime was reported.

Last edited by serenity on 21 May 2008, 1:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I am appalled at the assumptions made here. First of all, sociopaths are from all walks of life and all sexual orientations. Sociopathy is genetic. Sociopathy is not correlated with cross-dressing.

And the term 'sexual deviant' implies that there's something wrong with people who may or may not be heterosexual who simply choose to dress, from time to time, in the clothing of the opposite sex, when there is clearly no evidence to support that.

I apologize for using the wrong term. I thought sexual deviant meant something else. I thought it meant someone who commits sex crimes. I will now go, and edit my post, so that it says what I meant it to in the first place. Again, I apologize for offending you.

I would be cautios of of people like tailfins1959 and the advice they give. I have a fear of fundamentalists. I have a friend that I met at a job I worked at a few years back that I rarely speak to now just because she thought have asperger's was a chosen lifestyle and went against her beliefs.

Excuse me, but when did you get your degree in psychology?



Shame has also been heavily abused to force people to do someones bidding. Shame may have positive value when acting against group interest, it certainly has none when arising from uncertainty and prejudice.

Sociopaths are bisexuals and cross-dressers? In the movies like "Silence of the Lambs", I guess that's true, but I've never heard of that being an actual known connection or anything.

Heck, I bet that a lot of sociopaths are straight. And walk on 2 legs, breath air, and have social security numbers. Some even have families -- maybe we should watch out for those family-types because of that.

No, but a crossdressing child is a pretty big red flag.

Of what?

A red flag, as it is colloquially understood, is like a dashboard warning light, a fire alarm, an indication of emergency. When red flags go up in my head, that means impending trouble or danger.

I should have said they are bisexual but prefer the opposite sex. In prison the inmates that rape other inmates are always sociopaths.

There are many mild sociopaths that aren't criminals and lead normal lives though.

Well, I just often find myself disgareeing with what a lot of those red flags are supposed to mean. They most often seem just collective agreements to fear & loath (and apply hatred) for reasons that have little to do with what people say or think they're about.

I.e. most people would consider any psychiatric diagnosis a red flag, but are most people with AS (or many other things) dangerous? The answer doesn't matter, because it's just decided. And most people aren't going to care enough to try to find out anything that might cause them to understand better.

Societies always need people to hate. Christians to the lions, witches burned at the stake, jews, irish, gays, blacks, etc. etc. "Why did the crops fail? Witches!" Those groups don't seem remotely as dangerous as much as they were/are hated, IMO.

Especially since the few gay people I've ever met were the few to treat me like I was a regular human being when nobody else would. If anything they made the rest of the world look worse by having notably more humanity than that. Same for autsitic people. So I don't like the standard set of red flags very much at all.

You aren't really answering his question. To stick to the analogy, a red light usually also indicates the type of danger, like high oil temperature, or low pressure. You still don't indicate the type of danger.

Danger of impending pain, suffering, disorder, disaster. I don't know hown this scenario could end well, no matter the choices made. A crossdressing kid is like an albatross at sea, or a dead canary in a coal mine.

well. perhaps an answer is undue negative pressure from friends, family, peers, strangers. why...because that is how popele operate. they take their pain out on others. the question is who do they choose? those that appear weak. those that stand out. those that look better, feel better, act better, act superior, act inferior. the list goes on and on. this has been very helpful to me good friends. you have helped me think it through. communication with my son, love, help when he needs it. the world is made up of lots of whole people with broken parts. it includes us all. i have already started a dialogue with my son. he doesn't know i know yet. so i am talking to him about acceptance. and pointing out some of my many flaws. why does it matter to avoid flaws when we can? security. anything standing out tends to get cut deep by random acts of ignorance. hookers on the street being beaten, martin luther king being shot. i wonder why it all is. but i am certain love is the lessor of all evils.