Does anyone else homeschool their child with ASD?

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Tortuga
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30 Jul 2008, 7:41 am

equinn wrote:
I don't have the luxury of staying home with my nine-year old. I need income and insurance.

IOW, it's not a choice.


I work too. No one else supports us financially. It's not a luxury, it's a marathon.



Tahitiii
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30 Jul 2008, 12:56 pm

equinn wrote:
...I need income and insurance...
It's not an individual choice.

When we threw away the extended family,
we also threw away all the support systems that were built into it.
(The nuclear family is a new, unnatural phenomenon,
created by immigration to the new world and the the industrial age.)

Whether this is better or worse is a matter of opinion.
Indoor plumbing, fast cars and computers,
made possible by a family structure that doesn't work.

(Ok, that's an oversimplification.)



n4mwd
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31 Jul 2008, 6:16 am

Tortuga wrote:
Some children with ASD have significant academic issues. In our case, I don't view homeschooling as quick fix. It is a necessity. Thomas Edison didn't learn how to read until his mom pulled him from school to homeschool him at age 10. I see my son as the same way. He is very bright, but learns in a completely different way.

As for social stuff, my son made his first friend after I started homeschooling. Previously, he had none.


But there is no rule that says that you can't homeschool in addition to regular school. Aspies desperately need social training above all else. They have high IQ's by definition so, while they may need help getting over an academic hump every now and then, they are NEVER too stupid to learn.



Tortuga
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31 Jul 2008, 8:08 am

n4mwd wrote:
But there is no rule that says that you can't homeschool in addition to regular school. Aspies desperately need social training above all else. They have high IQ's by definition so, while they may need help getting over an academic hump every now and then, they are NEVER too stupid to learn.


I appreciate your prospective, but you're speaking from your own experiences. Some other kids are better served through homeschooling. It is a viable option.



DW_a_mom
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31 Jul 2008, 12:56 pm

n4mwd wrote:
Tortuga wrote:
Some children with ASD have significant academic issues. In our case, I don't view homeschooling as quick fix. It is a necessity. Thomas Edison didn't learn how to read until his mom pulled him from school to homeschool him at age 10. I see my son as the same way. He is very bright, but learns in a completely different way.

As for social stuff, my son made his first friend after I started homeschooling. Previously, he had none.


But there is no rule that says that you can't homeschool in addition to regular school. Aspies desperately need social training above all else. They have high IQ's by definition so, while they may need help getting over an academic hump every now and then, they are NEVER too stupid to learn.


While that is true, not all schools are equiped to provide that social training. In some schools, the only social training an AS child will get is that he doesn't fit in and the world is full of bullies. In other words, schools are NOT the best place to get social training. School is for learning, no more, no less.

My son happens to have had a great elementary school, a wonderful early public school experience. But that doesn't just happen. You have to have the right teachers, the right resource team, the right leadership. I read these forums and know how lucky we were. If we hadn't been so lucky, would I have considered home schooling? Absolutely. First and foremost, AS kids need to keep their love for life and learning alive. A poor school environment can kill that in them. When that happens, everything is lost. I've seen how poor school fit takes the life out of my amazing child; we had the absolutely wrong preschool. NEVER again will I allow that to happen. I am just hoping that the resource team at my son's middle school will be as solid as the team at his elementary school was.

But isn't just that. Some AS kids have such strong sensory issues that they can never thrive in a classroom environment. This has happened to a friend's child. When push comes to shove, the one thing a school cannot change is the simple fact that a large number of children share the same classroom. And inherent to that situation was sensory overload for my friend's child. All his energy, the full school day, went into trying to cope with the sensory overload. There was nothing left for learning or development of any sort.

In the end, it depends on the individual child, and the school choices available. There is no one size fits all answer.


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Last edited by DW_a_mom on 01 Aug 2008, 11:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Tortuga
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01 Aug 2008, 8:24 am

DW_a_mom wrote:
But isn't just that. Some AS kids have such strong sensory issues that they can never thrive in a classroom environment. This has happened to a friend's child. When push comes to shove, the one thing a school cannot change is the simple fact that a large number of children share the same classroom. And inherent to that situation was sensory overload for my friend's child. All his energy, the full school day, when into trying to cope with the sensory overload. There was nothing left for learning or development of any sort.


Thanks for your post. This is so true for some kids. My son didn't learn how to read until I started homeschooling, even though we worked on it when he was still in public school. He would come home so disturbed, tired, anxious, overstimulated from a day spent in a classroom that was so wrong for him... there was nothing left for learning. He was not developing socially in his public school placement either.



Tahitiii
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01 Aug 2008, 11:41 am

Like I said...

Tahitiii wrote:
The school is happy to admit that the kid with leukemia can not tolerate the school environment -- elements of the environment that are not a problem to most kids -- and that they can not control it. For my other friend, they were happy to admit that they could not make reasonable accomodations. Home schooling, at the public expense, made sense in both cases
So why can't they see when a kid can't tolerate a crowded classroom?
Are they worried that, once they open the door, everyone will escape?
And would that be a bad thing?



Tortuga
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01 Aug 2008, 4:32 pm

Tahitiii wrote:
So why can't they see when a kid can't tolerate a crowded classroom?
Are they worried that, once they open the door, everyone will escape?
And would that be a bad thing?


If kids don't fit into the placements that they are offering, that makes them eligible for private placements. A placement in a specialized private school might cost upwards of $50,000 per year through age 21, plus the county/school district would have to pay for that child's transportation to that specialized school.

It's $$$. So, schools typically fight private placements tooth and nail. They do have attornies working for them. Parents can expect to spend several thousands and thousands of dollars if they get involved in special education litigation. Few families have that kind of money or time to spend on it. Results of litigation are not guaranteed.



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02 Aug 2008, 11:22 pm

My son was in private placements, and while the school district did fight it, it lost the fight well before it cost any money or lawyers got involved.

Document your case, make needs known, if the school can't provide for the proven needs the law says they pay for a program that can. Free appropriate public education in the least restricitve environment...whatever the means for your child, that is their right and the law. Sometimes you have to fight for it, but the law is on your side.


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07 Aug 2008, 9:26 pm

I have homeschooled my 11 yr. old AS son for 3 yrs now, along with his typical sister of 8. He was in public school until 2nd grade and each year became worse. He gravitated towards the worst behaved kids in the class because they were the only ones that would accept him. He was in detention many times and did not know why. (I received the notices in the mail days later. He regularly forgot to bring home homework and notes.) He actually enjoyed the solitude of detention but it still damaged his self-esteem and was a source of more teasing from his peers. His IQ is high but his ADHD and AS affected him. His grades stayed high but only because his unusual memory and many second chances given by his teachers. His regular teachers loved him but PE, lunch & recess were a jungle. My stomach was in knots each day wondering how his day went. After his diagnosis at 7, his ARD was a joke. I just listened to the thimble of help offered with amusement because I had already decided to homeschool. I belong to an autism support group and most of the meetings are about how to prepare for the school IEP meetings. I would rather put my energy into schooling him myself. I only have 1 yr. of college but with prayer and good curriculum choices that fit your preparation style as well as your child, you can do it. We have some hard days, mostly transitions between subjects and distractions from sisters (the baby is almost 2), but he is learning well. I also know that he's not being hit on the bus or taunted on the playground or rushed to eat his lunch in less than 15 min. He has matured in countless ways without the constant stress of public school. He's able to relate to all age groups. We have a long way to go and I thank God each day for homeschooling and His strength. I know this is long and personal. (I'm undiagnosed AS.)



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13 Aug 2008, 11:31 pm

I have a 7 yr old that I have homeschooled/unschooled since he was 5. He did go to a school for about 1 1/2 weeks and was kicked out and we decided to homeschool until we could find another school...long story short, two years have passed and it was the best decision we ever made. I just quit my job and now I can dedicate all my time to him. He does much better with the "unschooling", although I do sometimes sit with him to do some "school type" work...But he has learned so much.

A great book is "Just give him the Whale"...We get lots of educational toys, puzzles, etc. at Costco and Marshalls/TJ Max/Homegoods...

For Geography he LOVES Wee-Bee Tunes from National Geographic...he's learned so much from that...it's funny to see him talking about Turkey or Machu Pichu and people just look at him like he's from Mars...hehe...

Good luck, it will be worth your time and I do believe you will soon realize it was the best decision you could ever make.



rachel46
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14 Aug 2008, 10:55 am

N4mwd obviously knows nothing about homeschooling. Kids don't' "stay home all day" GEEZ! When are we going to shake that tired, old stereotype ?

My 11 yr. old son goes to classes, field trips, friends houses, and interacts with people of all ages. He doesn't sit in a classroom with 25 other kids all day - where, by the way, socialization does not happen-there is no time! Since when is school supposed to be where kids are socialized anyway?

I just get so tired of people commenting on something without getting the facts first. Can't we all just get it that homeschooling is not all religious based people who are locked up in theire house shunning society and protecting their kids from the evils of the world - it's progressed much from that stereotype.

I will never put my son in "school" again and he will be safer, more relaxed and will most likely succeed in life as well as any public school kid.



catspurr
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14 Aug 2008, 11:41 am

rachel46 wrote:
N4mwd obviously knows nothing about homeschooling. Kids don't' "stay home all day" GEEZ! When are we going to shake that tired, old stereotype ?

My 11 yr. old son goes to classes, field trips, friends houses, and interacts with people of all ages. He doesn't sit in a classroom with 25 other kids all day - where, by the way, socialization does not happen-there is no time! Since when is school supposed to be where kids are socialized anyway?

I just get so tired of people commenting on something without getting the facts first. Can't we all just get it that homeschooling is not all religious based people who are locked up in theire house shunning society and protecting their kids from the evils of the world - it's progressed much from that stereotype.

I will never put my son in "school" again and he will be safer, more relaxed and will most likely succeed in life as well as any public school kid.


Agree with you. I am also tired of parents having to put up with utter nonsense regarding homeschool all in the name of "socialization!" (gags)

What socialization?

I knew a kid who was homeschooled. He was my best friend at the time. I got off the bus, he waited. 5 stupid idiots got off the bus to surround him. It usually ended up with some jock pushing him and then they would end up fighting. To everyone's shock and surprise due to ignorance, the homeschooled kid beat the jerk's ass! My friend also studied martial arts.

I am not sure if he was on the spectrum or not. We got along just fine. Much better than other kids my age.

He was also very smart.



mollyandbobsmom
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16 Aug 2008, 12:15 am

well, after some intensive research and input from drs and other homeschool parents I contacted the school today and told them my kids will not be attending this fall. my husband doesn't seem to be fully aboard (I thought he was before I called the school :? ) but says he will support this. so far both my kids are excited and my 7 y/o little guy has said the best thing about home school is he won't have to cut his mohawk (the principal saw him earlier this week and told him he would have to cut it before school started and his sister would have to dye her hair back to brown--we made it firehouse red earlier this summer). I posted in this same thread earlier that we were going to wait and see where the next few years led us but this happened VERY quickly and it just feels so right. Frightening, but right. reading this forum has helped. It seems no one at school understands AS. Now they're out of the equation. Here we go!!



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16 Aug 2008, 9:51 am

Congratulations mollyandbobsmom! You will be amazed at how much closer you are with your children, spending the eight hours a day together when they would be at school learning God knows what. I saw an instant improvement in my AS son's maturity level without the pressure of public school. I believe that without the stress he was able to develop properly in other areas. I started when he was 8 and now he is 11. I am also schooling my 8 yr. old NT daughter who's never been to public school. Both have a solid sense of self instead of a "follow the crowd" mentality. I thank God for the opportunity. Good luck!



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16 Aug 2008, 9:57 am

mollyandbobsmom wrote:
...he won't have to cut his mohawk (the principal saw him earlier this week and told him he would have to cut it before school started and his sister would have to dye her hair back to brown--we made it firehouse red earlier this summer).
He's stuck on their hair? That alone would be enough to send me screaming into the night. If he's that clueless, he has no business dealing with children at all. Any children -- forget the ones with special needs. This guy is abusing everyone he touches.


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