Quote:
Well, for one thing, my son seems very insensitive, which I consider a great thing, if he can let it all wash over him then great. He seems uninterested in other children unless they try and stop him playing with something he's into at the time. I have to shout at him to get his attention. His male cousin, on the other hand, if I even *look* at him with a certain expression on my face he might burst into tears and the cousin is always aware of what everyone in his class thinks of him and will lie rather than have them ridicule him. I am glad my son is not like that. He just drifts along doing his own thing and doesn't really seem to care much (so far) about the others being unkind. I hope this continues but I am aware it might not.
At least he won't be negatively influenced by kids who tease him. That is a good thing after all, some kids will do stupid things to get other kids to like them, if this doesn't change, at least he won't.
Quote:
That must be hard for you, I'm not surprised you resent them.
Yes it was hard for me. Seems like my life didnt' exist before then, and it hasn't existed since. That's all I became to them, someone who was turned down for a gifted program.
Quote:
I don't know, I don't know you. I think that people are ver threatened by anyone who is different from them. Some of the really ignorant ones act as if your difference is a personal affront to them. They project onto you all these negative emotions. Or, like sheep, an alpha male might decide to ridicule you and all the lesser males will do the same out of an attempt to bond with the rest of the group, to define "self" by rejecting that which is "other". It might be fun for them but it's not much fun for you.
That is what I went through, it seemed like alot of other kids who either barely or didn't know me at all started ridiculing me. Even kids who were often targeted themselves joined in, and I never understood why. I didn't know nor had I done anything to these people, so why should they treat me so badly?
Quote:
Well, you know, I struggle with this sort of thing myself--- you have to think, is it better to try and try with these people or let self-preservation rule? If someone is so negative in their impact on your self-worth and self-esteem and you can afford to not have them in your life, then it's better than trying and facing yet more heartache. Why does your wife want to get on with these people if you don't? In my husband's family there are a set of uncles nobody talks to and I wouldn't go out of my way to track them down and befriend them - I respect my husband's family's peculiar foibles. (It all goes back to a feud begun in 1959!! !)
I decided I had to take care of myself. I moved to a city where none of them were so I could be left alone, and some things did get better as a result. They will always see me as a lower class citizen and when I start acting like every other person who has rights, they think I don't know my place. They long for the days when the artificial social structure my parents created, where I was at the bottom of everything and had no rights, was still in place and they want it back. I will not live that way ever again.
She doesn't understand because most of her family members get along and respect each other. She has all of these cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. she practically grew up around, and thinks all families are like that. I've told her mine is not and even when my mother tried to make trouble for us when we were going to get married, she still didn't see it. I've told her the stories of how all of them treated me over the years, and she still doesn't get it. I just want to live my life in peace doing what I want, but they will never accept that, nor is it my job to force them to.
_________________
PrisonerSix
"I am not a number, I am a free man!"
27 Nov 2005, 11:13 pm
