Son can't learn basketball

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Yep. Don't force him into basket ball.

Try a variety of things, until he finds something he likes.

Take the family bowling.

Back yard badmitton.

Racket ball.

Walking the dog

Playing catch in the back yard with dad.

Trampoline.

Ice Skating.

Hunting

Curling

Fancy Jump roping

Generally team sports are pointless, the the action is usually so slow that the Aspie gets bored.

Humm...

This looks like a good topic.
I think I'll start it.

You are like a carpenter that laughs at a guy because he can't create ICs because he doesn't have the right equipment, and acts like it has to do with some great failing HE has!

I don't play ball sports because I just don't do well with catching things, etc... It is NOT the end of the world, etc.... It has NOTHING to do with learning complex things. As for the word "complex", get a dictionary! Belittling your son is certainly NOT going to help. AND, simply playing basketball well won't make up for his social failings. Judging from how you talk about bball, I guess you are the type of parent that will embarass him in front of any friends he DOES happen to get.

Maybe if you change THAT, he will have a better chance.

BTW I am probably like your son, and have experienced all of the above. I have known MANY that have had similar problems. It is in MOVIES and comedies ALL OVER TV! How can you seriously act like you care, and talk like your son is STUPID and the world has ended because of this, etc... AND, as for the basketball net, if it were INSIDE or in BACK it would be FAR better.

BTW It may have nothing to do with tracking. I HAVE been able to play tennis, badmitten, pingpong, batting, and even raquetball. What I CAN'T do is things that involve catching.

I did some sport as a kid but not a lot. While lot of kids do it, I didn't much. My parents never forced my brothers and I into it, but they did one time when I was 10 and they made me do track. I hated it. I hated staying after school and using up my free time.

I did t-ball when I was 5 and soccer when I was 10 and 11 and 13. Softball when I was 11 and 13-16 and 19. Track when I was 17 and 18. My dad bribed me into it because he wanted me to do it so bad. He said he pay me 5 dollars per practice and per game. So I did it. Turns out I liked it better than softball so I did it the following year on my own without bribes or being asked if I would like to try it.

What my parents did instead was encourage us. They tell us about a sport or activity and ask us if we like to try it. They didn't care if their money went to waste if we didn't like something and wanted to quit. They just wanted us to be happy. I think that's what all parents should do anyway. I can remember my mother asking me about girl scouts and telling me what I be doing in it and I agreed to do it. She did the same with gymnastics and pottery and I think softball and of course basketball when I was ten so I took a class about it.

But my dad did put pressure on my little brother to do basketball when he was in middle school. He was unhappy because the coach wasn't nice and he didn't enjoy the sport so my mother told him he could quit. I don't think he did other sports besides track. I think he tried football and didn't like it and Mom also told him he can quit. I can remember my mother telling me he felt forced by dad and thought he had to do it or he be disappointed in him.

I'm glad my father was a Yoga instructor because he never forced me to do things, not even Yoga.
I remember going to art classes and enjoying them. I made a few friends there, but didn't get real close to people.
I hated playing sports at school. We had to choose sports to play for the term but I preferred recreational things. I remember helping out in a library (which most children would find boring) but I really enjoyed it.

I played soccer once (hated it) and basketball. I was a terrible playing but could sometimes dribble the ball. I made one goal in my whole year of play basketball though. I wasn't bad a T-ball and Volleyball.

I was all state in track and basketball. When I imagined having children, I dreamed of the days I would go to my kids sports games. I just knew they would be great athaletes. God has a sense of humor.

Welcome to Autism!
My world and dreams changed. Everything I had wished for or imagined had changed. It took a year for me to morn the loss of what was not to be and accept my new world as a mother. I in no way expect or push sports on my boys. They are just bad at it. I want them to thrive at what their talents are and not focus on their weaknesses. WHo cares about what the other kids are doing. Your child is not the norm. Let him be who he/she is. Its a long process. This blog is called wrong planet for a reason.
Good luck!

I was took up and enjoyed plenty of sports when I was at school, they just weren't the ones that were available as part of Phys. Ed. classes.

I've never been able to handle any kind of sport that requires me to coordinate hands and visual inputs to catch, throw, hit or kick a ball (and I couldn't run particularly fast either), so things like soccer, rugby football, cricket, tennis and most of the track and field events that were the ONLY sports covered by P.E. were hell for me, as I was always last to be chosen, always looked down upon by the teachers (some of whom were ex-army, and were very much for school spirit on the sports field), and thoroughly miserable in any P.E. lesson.

Sports I excelled in were sailing, windsurfing, kayaking, skating (ice and in-line), rock climbing and abseiling, diving (not the endless laps of competitive swimming, but snorkelling and breath hold diving, and at 18 I took my P.A.D.I. open water qualification in Scuba diving), and most recently, while it's not considered a sport, it's still a physical activity that requires coordination and gives good exercise, poi and similar circus/juggling arts (so long as they don't involve catching).

Poi to most people is seen alongside fire juggling. You have a length of chain with a burning wick on the end in each hand, and swing them in complex patterns. Mostly though fire is reserved for performances, and everyone practices with socks (partly because you can do a lot more moves with them), and a lot of people (including me) prefer to perform with LED lights, as it's a lot less dangerous, and you don't end up smelling of kerosene and getting covered in soot. There's a lot of influence from dance and martial arts, and if you really get into it, it can be as exhausting/exercising as any traditional sport.

While I'll never be able to juggle in the conventional sense, I find poi something I can do without too much trouble, as I never have to make use of visual stimulus to work out what my hands should be doing, in fact I do most of the visualisation in my mind, and use tactile feedback to know where the ends of the poi are moving. The patterns and spatial side of it stimulate a lot of my aspie traits (and a lot of jugglers are serious maths geeks).

Poi pretty much saved my life when I was in the middle of a really bad depression, as the community is simply the most supportive and inclusive I've ever met (and is international, so I've met and played with people from all over the world). I've made more friends in poi spinning than at any other time or as part of any other hobby in my life (I also got pretty popular for making some nice electronic poi, with lots of colored lights, thanks to some skill in electronics), and I've been going to juggling and circus conventions for the last few years, where I meet a lot of old friends and make plenty of new ones. When it comes down to it poi is about playing and exploring your abilities, at your own level, and expressing yourself. There's no conflict or competition, and everyone is happy to teach everyone else how to do something, usually resulting in group performance and collaborations for an act.

Anyway, here's a picture of one of my friends spinning the poi I made.



and the home of poi on the internet is, unsurprisingly, www.homeofpoi.com

very cool and a great post!

That is really cool. I've also noticed that spinning with LED light ropes, is popular at raves.

Laura, if your son wants to socialize he can do that on WP, and meet his friends he makes on WP in real life. Never force him into basketball or anything. He probably isn't cut out for that kind of socializing.

He could just find it un-interesting & not want to do it. My kids play sports so they don't become couch potatoes. My Aspie played soccer for several years & was an AWESOME goalie. Now he don't want to at all & the high school coach wants him to continue to play so he can play in high school for him. We are not forcing him to play because he doesn't want to & says that the noise from the crowds and the stadium lights are too much. We don't even force him to go watch his siblings play soccer & volleyball for the same reasons. He does socialize at school and with his best friend when they play together online.

Oh crap man. Forget about those other sports. He's got tracking issues, he's liable to get hurt more than anything. But the bold part in the clincher.

"Not as much" socializing there? Well you know what, maybe "isn't much" socializing (meaning there is some) isn't a bad thing at all. Especially if it also involves doing something he likes, and gets him some physical exercise as well. Low pressure social + low pressure goal + succeeding at goal = WIN!


P.S. It really sounds to me like you might be fixating on your exact wishes, a fantasy you pre-created, and are ignoring a blessing that fell right in your lap.

Thanks for the thoughts and feedback and good suggestions. I had to laugh at the comment about pre-created fantasy. I stunk at basketball myself so I guess I didn't want him to feel the same pain. We'll stay focused on martial arts, as that really is a win for him. I think it's where he'll build his confidence. As for ball sports, he does struggle with the visual tracking (I did too). Thanks to the poster who provided the link. Also the suggestion about the wii. He's now doing a fitness rotation in gym class so things are better there for now, but I'm going in to meet with the teacher...in anticipation of spring sports.... thanks again.

That just reminds me of that in the late teens martial arts become one of the sports that then are appreciated by peers. Just like dancing.

I can't learn programming.

There is NO problem with team sports.

The problem is untrained or badly trained coaches.

Good coaches know how to integrate everyone and make sure they all have fun.
Everyone will not make the starting line up but a good coach will make everyone feel part of the team.

All that said, our lads were most successful in an all aspie team.

Awesome Lane have beaten some all NT teams.

Of course it was a parent who got the team started and ran it.

I think the root issue here is: the child wants to socialize. So say if every kid does narcotics should your child too?

What is it that your child enjoys? If it's video games, why not invite his mates over? Prepare plenty joypads, drinks, snacks. If he's into martial arts, put Street Fighter or Tekken on!