Does your child spend a lot of time alone at home?

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Wow, wait a minute! A kid at 3.5 years has it's own tv? That's not good...

Kenjuudo......Obviously, there is something "different" about my child or I would not be on Wrong Planet asking people about how much time their children spend playing alone.

I don't really care to get into a philosophical conversation about children having TV's in their rooms.

I would like to keep this thread limited to parents of small children with autistic spectrum disorders and their personal observations of those children.

I agree that allowing small children to watch unlimited television programming alone in the privacy of their own rooms is probably not a good thing. If you go back and read my original post in this thread you will notice that my child watches the same couple videos over and over and is obsessed with themes and characters in these videos. Turning off her TV causes a meltdown rather than a typical tantrum. This is just one of many reasons why I have chosen Wrong Planet to air my concerns and to learn more about autism related issues.

If I wanted to be besieged by peoples moral judgments I would have posted this topic on a website for neurotypical parents of neurotypical children.

FD! Thank you for the nice reply.

I know what you mean about encouraging your child to interact with the rest of the family. My daughter is just recently starting to enjoy coming down and spending more time with us. She has always been very talkative and has always enjoyed talking to us, but she prefers to be alone. We do have a schedule for her with the television. She watches her videos at breakfast time, after lunch and again after diner. She likes the routine, I think. On days that she has playschool she gets upset because the day goes a little different. It's not so much the "shows" as it is the alone time, I think. I have actually been experimenting with getting her to listen to children's music through the TV. There is no picutre when we play CD's in the DVD player, but the overall effect is the same. She doesn't really "watch" the shows anyhow.... she mostly just listens and chats along with them. She has started to sing along with the music CD's. I think that eventually she may start to enjoy things like audio books. We have an old crib mattress up there and she jumps while she listens to her shows or her music.

Structure is something that helps a lot, too. I am sure you have probably already figured that out by now! I have set up "stations" down stairs in the house and have been gradually introducing them to her. She enjoys painting, playdoh and playing with her train set.

She has always liked to be "confined". When she was a baby she hated to be removed from her play pen. When she was a little bigger and we transitioned into a "big bed" she wouldn't get out of the bed!! She would call for us to get toys from the shelf for her! We ended up putting the toys from the shelf onto the floor and then encouraging her to go and get the toy from the floor. Eventually that worked, but she would grab the toy and go right back into the bed!! It is so interesting how these little folks get attached to situations and ways of doing things! You can break them in, but it sure can take a long time! I can see a day when the movies will not be such and issue, but they sure are an issue right now!

Just some background.... it was those STUPID Baby Einstein films that created this situation, by the way. They are probably really great stuff for your NT child, but not so much for my daughter. She couldn't take her eyes off of all of the "eye candy" in the videos. We just thought it was cute that she could pay attention to something for so long. I have personally watched HOURS of Baby Einstein with my daughter! We just didn't realize what was happening with the attachment until it was sort of to late and she was getting super stressed about not being able to see the shows. We didn't just "decide" to make her into a TV junkie...... Sorry... I am still having an issue with the previous post....

I used to sit in my room by myself and take apart and reassemble electric motors in toys and build large elaborate strutures out of legos and K'nex.

That sounds like fun! I could probably go for an activity like that today!! I love to sew and can spend some time making quilts. I love the shapes and the colors. When I was a kid, I used to spend a lot of time drawing floor plans and designing roads for pretend towns. Always alone, however. I still like to be alone. That is another reason why my daughter and I are having a hard time with getting it all "together". We are both having such a great time doing our "stuff". It's that "routine" thing!

I do agree its harder for you if you also feel you are on the spectrum too. As maybe alot of the time you dont 'see' what might be a problem in the future. As a NT parent I always try to keep an eye on what my son is doing now and try to predict potential future problems.

Of course hindsight is a wonderful thing, and maybe you would have limited the amount of TV if you knew you were heading down this road!!

I suppose I have 'predicted' that my son would also want to hang out in his room if he had a TV there, so I have just never allowed it in the first place. Even if we are buying a present for him, I will always try to imagine every scenario to make sure that the gift wont end up being a hindrance, or encouraging him to spend time alone, they always involve needing more than one person.

Maybe you dont have that same ability to try 'predict' things, and then its only afterwards that you stop and think that maybe you should have noticed something.

I dunno, its just a thought.

But sounds like you doing all the right stuff, playing with her etc. We were also told to reward any social interaction, for example we used to 'stage' situations so that he would hug his siblings, and we would have the choclate ready!! ! it always worked.

Its such hard work trying to interact all the time, and very draining too. But it does pay off, sounds like a really cute little girl. xx

My son has a TV in his room. He watched it more when it was in the dining room downstairs with me than he does now. Now he only watches it once in a while and a little before going to sleep. He, like your daughter, likes to have the TV on, but doesn't really watch it intently anymore. He listens to it and plays on the floor. He likes NASCAR, and pretends to race when any race or practice is on. He just mimics what's on TV. As far as I'm concerned, he practices language and sentence recall, learns lessons by some of the shows that he watches, jumps around the room acting out scenes (gross motor) and gets his NASCAR fix. TV isn't always a bad thing. He learned Sign Language from TV which helped his anxiety tremendously before he was able to talk

Too much TV may be a bad thing, but I also think it can get a bad wrap too.

Hey MommyJones I think you could be right there. Most of my sons language, which is just phrases or chunks of language are from his favourite cartoons.

He does use single words, but the 'sentences' are mostly learned from TV. I suppose TV also gives them ideas on how to play. My son loves Power Rangers, I make sure to turn the TV on at the time its on, well cause I know he loves it and I think he will get ideas on how to play with his Power Ranger figures.


So maybe TV is good afterall ?! !! ! xx

With language especially, my child has motor planning coordination problems in his mouth, TV gave him good opportunities to practice because he quotes TV all the time. You can see the improvement as time goes on when you actually figure out what he is saying and from what show. And it's fun to figure out what the phrase really means, such as "There's 2 missing meatloaves!" means that he's mad. (That's my personal favorite)

My son is that way as well. I think he'd spend all of his time playing alone if we let him - but school and karate tends to get in the way of that. (he loves karate though - so he doesn't mind!) There are Saturdays and Sundays where he gets up, gets on his computer upstairs, and then I don't see him until late afternoon...and he's absolutely FINE with that. Once in a while he's ask me to play with him, but it's to play the Wii, and I don't mind playing with him at all. It's good for the both of us.

My son literally learned how to speak from watching TV. I'm not kidding. He will still copy anything he hears and finds interesting, and so we have to really be careful as to what he sees on TV because we never know when and where an interesting tidbit is going to come flying out of his mouth! I've since learned that it's called Echolalia...and my son is a master at it. My son is 9...so at least now we have the added benefit that he knows what he's saying, and now he actually files everything away in his brain so that he can use it later when the timing is right.

Perhaps I have somehow given the "wrong" impression. My child doesn't sit in her room and watch TV all day long. It was a modest amount of television that actually set off the "problem". I agree with MotherJones, too. TV gets a really bad rap. My child is only allowed educational programming or programming relavent to her interest areas. After reading many of these posts, I am actually realizing that her television viewing habits and her social interaction is most likely better than average. My daughter has great spoken language skills and is always learning new vocabulary from TV programs. I understand that some parents will leave their children to be tended to by the television as if it were some sort of "babysitter". I assure you all that this is not the case. I have to say.... I will not be mentioning the subject of television on this forum again any time soon. I didn't expect to be attacked and made to feel like I am somehow mentally ret*d.

I do believe that I am on the "spectrum", but I do not believe that I am somehow unable to "predict" an outcome based on a sequence of events. I don't feel that I am having any sort of disability when it comes to my powers of prediction. I hold an advanced degree in science. My ability to "predict" is fully operational.... I think that what you may be thinking of in terms of "prediction" is having more to do with theory of mind. Theory of mind is not analagous with common sense. I believe that theory of mind has more to do with the solving of "social" problems rather than problems based in pure logic. I may feel that I have AS, but I certainly do not feel that I am incapable of rational thought, critical thinking, logic or parenting skills. These comments offend me a great deal because I do not wish for anyone to think these things of my own child. If we are diagnosed with AS, I will most likely "not" disclose this information for fear of comments and assumptions such as these.

Well............I'm not entirely sure how to respond to your message directed at me. Yes, you are right the 'theory of mind' impairment was what I was referring to. I am very new to all of this and obviously my ignorance on the subject has offended you. I never intended to 'attack' you, or insinuate that you are mentally ret*d, or be critical of your parenting skills.

Clearly you were very upset reading my message.......as I was reading yours. I truly never meant to upset you in any way. In my ignorance on the depth or type of impairment, I felt I was offering support, unfortunately I didn't succeed very well in doing that.

I will be more careful in the future about offering 'advice', unless I am more sure about the facts. Please accept my sincere apology, I truly truly never meant to offend or upset you. xx

Hummingbird.... I am really sorry for the way I sounded. I was actually really agitate by the whole thread and was "generally" feeling attacked. Please accept my appology. There was another post right before yours that was just as upsetting. The person was commenting that children having TV in their rooms was a bad idea and I was feeling like I wasn't getting much "understanding" from a group that is supposed to be supportive of the unique situations that arise with children like ours.

Again, I am just so sorry. I don't mean you any harm and I can see now that had all of the best intent.

I am so glad we cleared that up. I look forward to another chat when the next issue arises. Judging by the way our lives change daily, I'm sure it wont be long! Xx

I am glad too! Sorry again for being so defensive...

I only went to public school for five years and was homeschooled for the rest. I was only with my parents for the subjects that were difulicut for me which only took like a few minnutes and then for the rest of the day I was alone in my bedroom. I think I spent like 23 or so hours alone. When I was in the mental hospital the doctors and nurses were all weirded out becuase I would freak out if I could not be alone for long hours of time and because I wanted to be alone all the time. My whole life everybody thought I was depressed but I wasn't. When I was alone I could think better and was usualy painting or writing a story. I am always much more creative when alone.