Convincing me he is normal is NOT helpful

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You obviously haven't met my colleagues...[/quote]

I know what you mean, people have problems with there wife, kids at home and they find a weak person who they can take it out on. But as I found out a few months ago, you are a good human being when you look after yourself, and people who live to help others constantly are egoists. So being good human is being strong and loving life. IMO. Because then people can look up to you, learn from you and feel safe around you, instead of having a weak person annoying them all the time.

Personally I think they aren't trying to change my mind about it as much as they are stating that my child is not all that different from other children.

Wow, he sounds like my lad.

I know what you mean about wanting to help. My son thinks he's "weird", and all I can do is let him know that weird isn't bad... and often can be far better than "normal." But it does hurt to watch him interact with other kids, and not know how to make friends. The worst was when he came home telling me he'd made friends at school... then I discovered that the "game" was they all had to run away while he tried to tag them, because he had the "jabs." In other words, he was their friend, while he agreed to play the leper.

All you (or I) can do is be there for our sons. You might find he responds well to rules about clothing, etc... my son would wear the same clothes forever if I let him, and would wear some mighty odd clothing too. I've had to give rules about what clothes to wear on what day, depending on the weather... as though getting dressed were an equation. Monday is a blue day: after school, get changed, jeans, the blue shirt, it's raining, so add to that a jacket..

Tuesday, a yellow day, beige cordoroys, yellow shirt, it's not raining, good to go.

Some of his odder clothes he gets upset if I don't let him wear them, so we've got rules about when he can wear them. It's hats... I tell him that gentlemen don't wear hats in buildings (though he can wear his in our home) so when we go shopping he will take his hat off and carry it rather than be a total target. It's a compromise. Personally, I don't see why he can't wear hats, they actually look very good on him. But it makes problems in todays society if a boy looks too different. So we manage the hat thing, and he's learned to change his clothes.

Ah yes, I know well about my son playing "monster". It's the only way other kids have ever wanted to play with him. My husband's response to any games of this kind with neighbor kids is total fury. He sees how it ends up every time. My son gets tired of the play "being ganged up on". When he was younger this led to odd outbursts like "Your mother should spank your daughter-her!!" (He had weird semantic constructions when he was younger and stressed.) Parents saw my child as a trouble-maker and franky, a brat, when it was actually their child that did not know when to stop. Children that behave in polite and consistent ways have no trouble interacting with my son.

My son uses his sister, who is 4 years younger, as a means to interact with others. He is often playing with younger girls and even younger sibling boys.

If we can get through the next 5 years, I think he should be able to interact fine as an adult. I've told him before I can totally see him doing great things for others with his heart of gold. He has more compassion as a kid than I do as an adult.

I get that all the time. It does frustrate me somewhat but I have found if I don't mention it much, they can't say anything. They already know the dx so reminding them won't help. Most tend not to believe it. When Nate does have a meltdown, it is usually because "I do a poor job at disciplining". Grrr