Kids say the darndest things

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My mother told me that one time we went to this place to watch a Sunday NFL game. One of her friends asked me if I wanted a beer. I said:

"Coke please, you have to have a mind before you can destroy it."

Today, DS managed to wrestle down a few of his minor demons, and we had a celebratory day all day long. After dinner, I gave him a hug and said "You're the best boy ever," to which he replied "You're the best Mom ever...some of the time."

My 5 year old daughter who has ASD has recently been making observations about people's general body shape. She told my MIL, who is overweight, that she's "a big circle" Luckily my MIL thought it was hilarious. She also told her dad that he is "a big I" (ie. The letter "I") I guess because he is tall and of medium build and all in proportion like the letter "I". I asked her today if I'm a "big circle" and she said "NO!" lol. I was glad to hear that, considering I went to Weight Watchers this year and lost 15kg to get rid of the "big circle" look.

My son has been telling me for years that he loves my "nice round face." I've been losing a fair bit of weight, hope I won't entirely lose my nice round face! (Though my husband tells me that when I'm less chubby, it's diamond shaped.)

my VERY literal son and i were heading out on a 2 hour drive to see a neuropsych, and swung by mcd's to grab lunch on the way. this was our conversation:

me: do you want chicken nuggets or a burger?
him: a burger
me: do you want a small burger or a big burger with double meat and double cheese?
him: i dont eat meat!
me: you dont eat meat?
him: no.
me: but you want a hamburger?
him: no, i dont eat ham. i eat cheese.
me: cheeseburger it is.

My son told me that some people cut onions when they were sad...I couldn't dispute the fact

Hi all! I am reading this topic all morning and I found so silly and funny stories. My son is just recently diagnosed with AS .He is a very funny boy,never behave as other kids.

When he was 3 yrs old. My neighbours were babysitting him.It was a winter and lots of snow. After some time spent out playing he came back to the house asking for pen and paper. They asked why he needs pen and paper to play outside on the snow? He told them that he is going to the nearby graveyard to count on graves and make a list of the people died. He said '' I am sure nobody knows how many people are buried there,maybe somebody will need the list'' .

Now my son is 12 and at the door of the puberty. They learned in school about all kind relationships and sexuality. He become very shy,never let us to see him without clothes,even if he has his underwear.
One day he rushed to the toilet but he didn't know he's father is taking a shower.So he saw him naked. He was truly embarrassed that he started to apologize to everybody,explaining how he didn't know that dad was in the shower. I tried to tell him it is all right,there is no problem,we are family etc...
I wanted to give him example and i sad how I see his father naked and no problem at all.
Then he turned to me and said ''Yeah,but you had the contacts!'' I said what contacts? He said,pointing finger down -'' with those two of yours! ''

My husband described this conversation between my son and another autistic kid: She was monologing about Pokemon and my son asked, "Can we change the subject?" She agreed, and he said "Okay, let's talk about that weird glitch that happens to the screen in Ms. Pacman...."

My Son for Thanksgiving went to my BIL house with his father I had to work.
He is a very picky eater. Anyway when he came home he complained about
the mashed potatoes . It was the only thing he ate. Saying they were gross and nasty and pretending to growl ( throw up) in the trash can. He kept complaining and I asked him if he was told to try then and he said no and I said well did daddy make you eat some and he said no. I asked my husband about it and he said he ate 2 plate fulls on his own. A little bit later he was sitting on the toilet and hollered for me and said he was going to get sick and threw up in the trash can.
I kept asking him if they were so bad why he ate two plates full and he said he couldn't remember. I asked him if he was hungry and he said no and I said there must of been some reason and he said he couldn't remember the word. Finally later on he said I remember now and I said and what was it and he said. Your always telling me I should try new foods. I said yes I am but not 2 platefuls and not if you think it's gross. lol...
I still haven't figured this out unless he just wasn't feeling too good or ate too much. Wouldn't be the first time lol.

This morning, my 4 year old son asked me why he doesn't have face fuzz. I was very excited because he had clearly made a distinction between himself and his father. [A few weeks ago, it came out that the reason he liked spending so much time with Dad was that boys go with dads and girls go with moms.] I felt really good about that.

Then, after breakfast, he asked another wise question: Why do we not poop on people's heads?

One morning,my son (as)and his cousin(nt) were sitting at the table eating breakfast. I served them goat milk. My son said that he hates goat milk and he is not going to drink it.He's cousin asked why - ''milk is milk,what's the difference?''
And then explanation started:'' By molecular structure (long speach about chemistry of goat milk)....... cats also have a milk,but do we drink that?? ''
He's cousin:'' whatever, just drink that milk!''

What do you say to the pooping thing?
I said that it was disrespectful and hurt people's feelings.