Kids say the darndest things

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My 6yo is struggling to understand the concept of humour. If he hears something he thinks might be funny he releases a bout of fake hysyterical laughter which abruptly cuts off to be followed by "Is that a joke?"

While watching my mom's plane land the other day, completely out of the blue and in a very official voice: "This plane is well equipped to handle the occasional and unfortunate swallowing of a bird."

Everyone was VERY relieved to hear it.

When my now 10 daughter was 3 and saw her newborn baby brother naked for the first time she exclaimed after mock vomiting that 'gross he has a waggy bottom like a dog'. Hilarious.

When she was 2 she decided that my bra was called 'booby knickers' ......

Okay.. I'll bite.. LOL Here are a few of my favorites from Jordan..

When 3 and at the childrens hospital she told the dr that she wanted to put all the drs and nurses into to giant trashbags and turn the hospital into a playground because children like playgrounds more. the dr thought that was just hysterical especially given her age.. LOL

When she was 5 her dad took her out for a daddy-daughter outing every week. When they were leaving I ran out and told her to give me a hug and she looked at me all serious like and said 'Dont worry mom.. I wont miss you .. dad is the fun parent!' hahahahahaaa omg that was soo funny..

I think this was meant as a compliment.. haha.. when she was around 5 she told her Mimi who is a large woman (300 lbs) that when she grew up she wanted to be fat just like her..

They cleared the lot next to our house last year to build a gas station.. one day the men were sitting under a tree on the edge of our property on a nice 100 degree day.. she went and told her dad that those men needed to go suffer in the sun and if they wanted shade they should have kept their own trees. hahaaa.. boy she can be a tough little cookie!

Hahaha i think most dads are the fun parent!

They just keep coming back to me......

Once in Mcdonalds my daughter was busy telling me a story about a dog and she got down on all fours and barked like a dog. That was embarassing, I remember thinking aren't I supposed to be the one embarassing her!

Once we were at gymnastics talking in a group and I mentioned that my hubby was home sick with a tummy bug and she proceeded to tell everyone that he had been farting all morning and it stunk!

We were caring for an injured adult male possum. We are wildlife carers and this was our first adult male. A little girl over the road who came from a very religious family came over to see and my daughter proceeded to tell her and her granddad that the possum had the hugest testicles....Oh my....the granddad said nothing.....

My son is pretending to write a shopping list.

I think he has about 25 lettuces and 50 plus tomatoes, a few cucumbers and quinea. He was adamant there is no Yucky dead animals.

That is one healthy eater!

conversation today:

other kid: "That's a really cool bike!"

my kid: "Yeah, it has a kickstand and everything."

Was just amused that the coolest feature of his bike is apparently the kickstand.

My son heard someone sing "Í've got you under my skin" on TV one night. The next day on the way home from school he says "how can you have someone under your skin, they wouldn't fit in there!" He'd obviously been thinking about it all day.

Yesterday he was bouncing around like ususal and junped onto a beanbag which banged into the TV cabinet. I said "be careful, imagine if the TV fell on you" thinking about the dangers. He jumped up and said "then I'd be ïn TV!

Gotta love literal thinking!

I remember finding that song very disturbing as a child! I still think it's kind of icky.

Mr Autie (4 next month) was at the toilet just before. Here is what he was saying.

"Hello my Willy. How are you? Do you have wees inside you? Do you want to put wees in toilet? It will make Mr. (Insert last name here) very pleased if you did. You will? Grand. *sound of wees* Oh thankyou for that. Now i will shake you so you are not wet. Shake, shake, shake. Ok it is time for us to go to bed but you must be under my knickers. I love you."

- reminds me of myself as a kid ( well, i can't remember it, but my mother told me ), i came home from kindergarten one day with the exact same word as your little one and was informed that the mentioning of this word was not a very desirable feature in a 4 year old girl...

after an hour the following conversation ensued:
me: 'giggle-giggle'
my parents: 'puzzled look'
me : 'giggle-giggle'
my parents: ' what is so hilarious? '
me : 'giggle-giggle-giggle'
my parents : 'would you like to tell us what you find so amusing?'
me: 'yes, but i can't?'
my parents: ' why should that be?'
me: 'i'm thinking of the word i am not allowed to say!'

You've done extremely well to have him toilet trained so young. My AS 6yo son is only out of day-time nappies for six months and still has at least one accident a day. My 'normal' daughter who is 3 in July screams at the sight of a potty or toilet - even though she will run around with no nappy and no accidents for 5 hrs. (But I'm sure all of this is a discussion for another forum.)

LOL

This is about my brother's son who is undiagnosed, but I am convinced he is AS or HFA.

Anyway, we were driving in my car one day, and it was almost my birthday. I was turning 24 or 25, which would have made him 5 or 6. He asked me how old I was going to be, and I said (let's just say), "25. Yep, I was born in 1984." Completely awestruck, he said, "wow! That was a long time ago". Kind of trying to re-enflate my ego a bit, I said, "well, if you think that sounds old, your father was born in 1977." My nephew's very serious response: "WOW! AND HE'S STILL ALIVE????"


LOLOLOL

shakes mummy to wake her up.

"hello mummy.... i have the boogers."

And not only toilet trained, but so very polite about it!