Kids say the darndest things

Post Reply New Topic

Our cat is elderly and her health is deteriorating. I wanted to start to talk to my daughter to get her prepared for our cats death.

I told her that she has lived a good, long life and that we might miss her but we can be happy that she lived a good life when she dies.

My daughter's eyes filled with tears while she thought about that....

Then she with all seriousness said "Can we make her into a Mummy? That way we can still see her everyday!"

I had to explain why mummification was no longer an appropriate option in our society.

My little guy is 3 and has taken a very strong interest in transformers. He often brings his toys to us to transform them and says, "make car" or "make robot".

Last week he was taking a bath with his little sister when he put his hand on her shoulder, looked at me and said, "make car". I couldn't help but burst out laughing and then he smiled and said. "make car, please". I really started to laugh when he began explaining how I could do it. "head down, fold arms".

I dont think I told this one yet.
My Aspie who is now 9 used to live on milk when he was between 1 and 2....we got in trouble from the ped for that actually but he has always been a very picky eater. One time he found a sippy cup behind the couch with curdled milk in it. I grabbed it away from him before he could drink it, he got upset so I showed it to him and told him that he couldnt drink it because it was chunky. One day my older daughter and I were at a stop light and my son was in the back in his car seat. A lady walked across the cross walk with a really huge baby and my daughter says "That is a really chunky baby"......My son started screaming and we finally got him to talk and he screamed "I AM NOT A CHUNKY BABY!"
To him the word chunky=bad so he was already being literal around 2, my daughter were cracking up and trying to calm him down and telling him that we were sorry and he was good!

A recent one from Eldest -- who is, to be clear, a boy.

"Dad! I just touched my vulva!"

"What?"

"It kinda hurts now."

"Wait, wait, WHAT did you do?"

"I touched my vulva. That things that hangs down at the back of my throat."

"That's uvula, guy."

"Ooooh. It kinda hurts now."

"Yeah. Don't do that again, okay?"

"Okay!"

I am watching TBBT (The Big Bang Theory).
My 9 year old son walks into the room, looks at Sheldon and Penny, turns to me and asks:
" Is that The Bing Bang Therapy? "
I just cracked up.

Trying to explain Easter to my HFA ... he was five ...

Me: A long time ago there was a man named Jesus who tried to teach everyone to be good.
Me: When he died, after three days, some people say that we came alive again.
(silience)
Me: So what do you think of that?
(silience)
Son: I think someone lied.

In my sons kindy room they hava a piano with a selection of differant percussion instruments and some water glasses with water ect.

He loves music and on his first day he ran over to the piano and played a few notes then rang the bell, played a few notes, then poured some water from one glass into the other and banged them off tune with a mellet, then played a few more notes on the piano.

The kindy teacher came over and this was the conversation....

Teacher: "So L......... what are you doing?"
L: "Pretending"
Teacher: "why don't you use just one instrument and someone else can play with you?"
L: "No"
Teacher: "Why?"
L: "I pretending to be John Cage."

I proceeded to start Laughing really loud and the teacher was very confused.

OMG, that is so brilliant! I'm dying here!

My cousin took her two children shopping for school shoes last week. Three styles of shoes were a good fit for her son, and they each had a different picture on them - dinosaur, football, space rocket (you know the kind of thing). He's into dinosaurs so she asked if he liked those shoes, and he said "yes", so she bought them and got out the crowded, hot, noisy shop as fast as she could.

Back home, her son refused to wear the shoes.

My cousin said, "But you said you liked these ones!"

Her son, "Yes, I like them, but I don't want them!"

On the upside, even though she had to go back to the crowded, hot, noisy shop to change them, the shoes he did want turned out to be on sale, so she saved £20!

The other day me and my partner were at his Mum's house, and they had friends over, and they brought their little girl (well, it was one of their's daughter, the other was the step parent) and she was this adorable little Chinese girl! She must have been about 5, maybe 6.

We spent the rest of that day playing with her ("we" being my partner, his brother and myself). Later on when we were all tired after playing hide and seek, my partner was sat on the sofa, and the little girl ran up behind him and then whispered into his ear the most random thing ever:

"Say something beautiful... Say... There was a girl and she was a lolly-pop."

He started laughing and then he was like "you want me to say it?" still laughing, and she nodded her head with a huge smile, and he repeated "there was a girl, and she was a lolly-pop." and the little girl laughed hysterically - The way small children do lol.

I didn't hear it when she was whispering but after he told me the "say something beautiful" part and I just... Laughed my face off.

My son: "I put the chocolate covered raisins in a cup. I thought if I ate them out of the bag I would eat too many."

This only proves what I already knew: that he is smarter than me.

It's really a shame I'm not a parent, but reading through the other posts cemented the fact that I had to share this. I think was three at the time. I said too my Mom and I quote"you're despicable" and "you disgust me".

I know a kid who replied "Somewhere over the rainbow" to questions like "Where's so-and-so?".

My son bounded into our house the other day and exclaimed, "Dad, it's so good to see you!" Then looked around the empty room and asked "where are you?"

My son continues to be Captain Sensible. I mentioned preferring Coke, to which he replied, "What's wrong with Pepsi, it's almost the same! Look - it's brown."