My sons 1 year re-eval was this morning...

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You are doing a great job JJ's mom! Hope your little guy continues to improve! And good luck with your other little one!

Lilolme, I did not take offense to your bear comment! I go by Angelbear because that is what I call my little boy!

That makes more sense and I agree, except that they don't exactly loose effectiveness. As the child grows and developes they usually need to increase their dose. It isn't to do with body size but something to do with brain chemistry. Then in puberty they either need to drop down the dose or can even stop taking it. Many kids take it for a few years and then find that as they mature behavioral therapies work better and they don't need it at all.

For some reason adults need lower doses than children of ADHD meds. My youngest son and I take the same thing, but he needs more of it than I do to have the same effect. I suspect he'll outgrow needing it before puberty, but I'll need it forever. Middle son needs his a lot more, but I don't know if that means he's unlikely to ever outgrow it. The stimulants for ADHD can be taken pretty much indefinitely if needed.

Anti-psychotics tend to loose effectiveness over time and need to be changed. They also need greater doses as a child grows, and then the dose must be reduced at some point in puberty. There is one anti-psychotic that is used off label for ADHD and that would likely need to be changed regardless of which reason someone was taking it.

I wish I didn't need to know all that.

As far as meds go, my husband is definitely anti-meds and very stubborn about it. I don't exactly want to medicate, but I also don't want my son to not be able to learn because of his lack of focus. Since he is only almost 5, I am willing to give it a couple more years to see how things go before I address the meds issue head on with my husband!! !

Kiely, thanks for supplying the right information. I understand why you wish you didn't need to know so much about it. Sometimes I - human nature - latch onto a concept I hear because, well, it's convenient for me, but I may not have it quite right. I do try to couch my wording, so I hope I don't mislead people.

JohnJamesMom, I am glad we were able to come to a more comfortable place for you. It gets difficult sometimes to help parents cross the bridge between how we talk here, and how parents talk in other parts of the autism community. There is this huge divide in the community, and Wrong Planet sits pretty firmly on one side of that (although not as firmly as Aspies for Freedom), while trying to be helpful all across the breadth of it. The difference is that this community was founded by Autistics and for Autistics, and the parenting forum is only one small part of that. Other places are more by parents and for parents, with very little view from the inside. I think the voice you get from here is invaluable, but it is different. I started my search for information on this side of the aisle, not what members here think of the cure-a-be side, so I long ago became really comfortable with the approach and thinking of autistic adults, and began to defend their viewpoint and use their language. I still think it is the far better overall path, but useful things have been learned in all parts of the autistic community and, while the language and direction remain different, I am slowly starting to see more of a cross pollenization of ideas. ANYWAY, I hope you'll stick with us to the extent we do, perhaps, have information useful with your maybe/maybe not child.

Also, FYI, I've got one of those very social Aspies. Runs to adults, always has, jabbering and interacting. No one would have thought he was on the spectrum - but the moment someone actually looked for it, it became obvious. I think you'll hear some of the parents describe it this way: a child who loves social interaction, but is incredibly bad at it. That would be my son. Adults are pretty accepting of a precocious 4 year old boy who wants to be friendly, and don't think too hard about if he is doing it "right." But when that same child gets older, it becomes more clear that this child is missing something in how he goes about it all. That is a nuance you will find utterly confuses people haven't been forced to dig deep into the spectrum, and there are other areas where the nuance is similarly difficult to ferret out. All I want for you is to know and understand your son whatever that unique individual is. If that means we can help; we'll do our best. If that means we are useless, well, we always like having friends, but we may be difficult at times so feel welcome to keep us company, but bear with us if we say the wrong things.

My son too is very loving and affectionate so much so that the other kids were hitting him because they did not want him hugging them. It used to be so sad to pick him up from school and hed be off in the corner and hed cry and tell me that no one liked him. Hes getting better but I still have to remind him "no touching" when he gets excited.