My son was just diagnosed with Asperger's. HELP!

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I am curious about "gunpoint" and the need for a foster family instead on an immediate return home.

To the point, a child's brain is still developing at age 4. I view the administration of psychotropic medications as experimental, try it and see, and hope for mild side effects. To do this a small child leaves me horrified.

My advice, before you donate to the pharmaceutical industry, try eliminating hormone-laden meats and sugar from his diet for the so--called ADD. Try gentle psychological intervention for any PSTD.

And, for crying out loud, let him grow up as himself.

dp

I would not be surprised if the OP is long gone by now, however

It's too bad that this evolved how it did, I think that DW_a_mom made the point best, there were a couple of things you said that struck specific nerves here. Don't get the wrong impression of the people here or of people with AS in general, when faced with these attitudes in public I suspect the reaction would be much more controlled. However for many this is a place where they can go to forget about the negative stereotypes of the general public, so seeing them show up here is hard to deal with.

I would equate this all to walking into an AA meeting, drinking a beer. Alcoholics will have to see other people enjoying alcohol around them every day, and will have to be tolerant of that if they are to remain sober, but seeing it in an AA meeting is much harder to deal with.

As you mentioned you were bipolar, I would ask that you view some of the medications prescribed for AS (especially the stronger ones) like the use of lithium to treat bipolar disorder. From what I have heard it is very effective at suppressing manic episodes, however it has a numbing effect on the person internally and can take away an important piece of who you are.

I would like to give a couple pieces of advice, for what they are worth.

Even if you fear what AS means for your son, do not let him see this when he displays an AS related behaviour. Knowing at 5 that there is a part of who you are that your parents are deeply afraid of is hard to deal with. Just because AS behaviours can be suppressed, that does not mean that you have solved the underlying problems that caused them.

Your son may behave one way when he is around you and others he knows well, and completely differently when only with people he does not know. You have to accept that other peoples descriptions of his behaviour can be true, and that the problem may be worse than just what you see when he is around you.

If you son shows a special/obsessive interest, try to support it. For many people with AS these interests can lead to careers that are both financially and personally rewarding. AS often lets people excel in specific areas with relative ease, finding these areas is important.

Although AS makes specific things very difficult, don't let people tell you that it makes anything impossible, you just have to go about most things differently.

I wish you and your son the best, whatever your struggle turns out to be

Good post, huntedman, thank you.

While I suspect the OP is long gone, as well, I might email her ... that special privilege being a mod gives me I feel that if she doesn't understand what happened and why, it will negatively impact her life with her AS child.

And I will try to "clean up" the thread a little, as well, if I can find some time, since some of the attacks both ways were pretty counter-productive, and I suspect those involved would prefer to not be reminded of their part.

Good idea DW, too bad she didn't post in the parent's forum to begin with.

Well, if she wants the help of Wrong Planet, then maybe she will come back. If not, then I wish her well in coming to terms with her son's problems.

The OP only snapped only because of some of the responses she got. I get defensive too when I get attacked or feel attacked or feel not understood or when people don't see my point of view when I think it was clear for people to see because I had just told it. Then I get even madder when people still don't see it after my reaction so I may think "screw them I'm outta here, they're sick people."

I think anyone is sick when they still don't get it after my anger comes out because it should be obvious I am upset and suffering or I am worried, etc.

Maybe it's the AS that keeps some people here from being understanding and sympathetic and using kinder words but I think this shows how aspies don't always act on logic and they react to their feelings just like NTs so they are unable to be good diplomats.

Perhaps that is something she be trying to teach her son so that way he doesn't act that way when he is grown up.

I think someone coming here who doesn't understand AS quite well or is misinformed about it, I don't see how getting all upset with them and attacking them is going to help them because it is just going to tell them "aspies are bad people, they don't see our point of view so they bully us and ignore what we say when we tell it." Same as anyone who has been hurt by an aspie and claims all aspies are that way and then they get attacked about it, it's just going to show them we are bad people so the only way we can break that thought they have is to be understanding and try and educate them by being civil so that way they can see not all aspies are bad and we can see their point of view when they explain it and we can be sensitive and understanding and caring and are good people. We shall not let our feelings get in the way. Use our logic. Aspie power.

Edit: This post was made in response to other posts that were removed.

Last edited by League_Girl on 17 Aug 2010, 5:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.

wow - i didn't realize mods can just delete people's posts.

i thought i had a good point. but i guess it's gone.

Sorry, some things end up sweeped only because they no longer make sense after other posts are removed. Or, well, because clean up is never a perfect process I still have pretty much all the content, just hidden. If you want your content so you can restate it in a way that will flow, send me a pm and I'll try to get it to you.

The clean up was done already?

I think post just get moved to the global mods, they don't actually get deleted.

I wonder if my posts are irrelavant now?

Not in my opinion. I tried to leave enough reference so that the other valuable discussion still fit in. Many valid points were made, even if there was stuff I felt ought to be moved.

I always appreciate your posts in this forum.

if your son does have aspies it is not a death sentence. he seems to be high fuctioning(like me) he may act social but does he build lasting friendships. i can imitate but i have trouble making good friends. i also don't believe in medication for treating aspies as it is not treatable. but people with it learn to adapt and eventual learn to make lasting friendships.he'll need support and help from you and your husband.

He'll need a lot of acceptance, as well.