Teacher called my daughter lazy

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IMHO damage is being done to your child. I would take her out even if for a short time. Put her back in if you want but you might just be having so much fun you don't need to. Also, if you take her out, let her detox for a month or so. Don't require anything of her, just visit libraries and museums and such. Let her recover and you will both be in a better condition for learning. A month or so of unschooling will not ruin her education, it will enhance it.

Thinking of you, Mummy! Hang in there!

Everyone has been lovely on here. Thank you all so very much.

I spoke with my husband again tonight about home schooling and he says, 'Let's go for it'. We just have to sort out details about exactly when we're going to hand in the letter to the school (which is the only legal requirement here). He's going to speak to the ed psych whom we have our first meeting with on the 21st. It would be helpful if she will still be involved with our daughter's case, even if she is no longer in school.

When I collected my daughter from school today, I asked how things had been and if she had spoken to any adults, in the classroom or in the playground. She said she has decided it's best not to speak to them at all. To me, this is an initial sign of a confidence knock. I know my daughter isn't me, but I suffered similarly and became painfully shy at not much older than she is just now, having been a confident youngster. That's not what I want for her.

Thanks again and I'll keep you all informed about our progress.

Mummy_of_Peanut, I'm so happy for you and your girl! I think you will do a terrific job, as you have already demonstrated how much of an advocate you are for your DD. All the energy that has gone into protecting and helping your daughter in school can now be directed to her - just her! She'll just blossom under your direction

I think calling a student lazy, without further explanation or investigation, is just a lazy thing to do. I was often accused of being lazy in school when I was usually either bored, or focused intently on something else. I too would contact both the school and the teacher, asking for meeting to clarify what is perceived to be a problem (lazy).

We need to advocate for our children, especially when we perceive teachers/authority figures making such comments/accusations.

A word of warning - the ed psych may not be able to be involved if you are homeschooling. It would certainly be more complicated for her. This is because some (most) local authorities take the view that if you opt out of the local authority system for education, you also opt out of its services - such as, educational psychology. For instance, LA employed ed psychs generally can't work with children in independent schools.

I think as the ed psych appointment is SO close it'd be worth just hanging fire for now and seeing what she has to say at the meeting. You always have the option of home schooling up your sleeve, but don't pull her out 2 weeks before she finally starts to get the coordianted services that might finally make a real difference to her experience in school.

Good luck
Claire

Hi Claire

My husband spoke with the ed psych yesterday and she said she was going to check about her involvement, if we decided to home school. She said that, if we put her in a private school, she would stay involved with us parents, but not with the school. So, she thinks she would be able to provide support with home schooling too, but will need to confirm this.

I've also looked at the local authority's website for advice and I really need to prepare a schedule of what I plan to achieve. I've been working on this anyway, but I won't have it complete before the 21st. So, she's in school at least until then.

Last week, my daughter came home with the school's newsletter. It mentions that children on the additional support needs plan should have received update reports. My daughter has never received a report and I was informed in June that her name was going on the plan. So, my husband contacted the school to tell them that we had no report, to be told that she wasn't on the plan, because her academic grades are fine. But, the ed psych tells us that the school should have her on the plan, as it is for kids with any sort of additional needs, not just the ones who are at acute risk of academic failure (as we thought and were told anyway). So, she'll be informing them of their error, at the meeting. If we get updates that will be a huge load off, as lack of communication is really getting me down.

We also have a small ray of hope in the shape of a new small school, being built in the next year or two, close to her current school. We are almost certain that this is getting the go ahead now. I believe it will have enclosed proper classrooms (current is open plan from P4 onwards). Only thing is it's outwith our catchment, but given our daughter's circumstances, I hope she will get priority. The next hurdle will be high school. The catchment high schools for the 2 primary schools (500m away from each other) are different. If she makes friends, of course we will want her to go to the same high school as those kids, but we will have to make a placement request. Yet again, I hope they will make her a priority. It's over 5 years away and anything could happen between now and then, so I need to stop worrying about that.

Thanks for your advice.

I think this is not true in many cases, in some states even as regards kids without disabilities who just want to access school programs: http://www.home-school.com/Articles/can ... grams.html

I think (even though schools may contest this - but they aren't always right) that schools are required to provide intervention for SPED kids under IDEA, even if kids are homeschooled: http://www.understandingspecialeducatio ... grams.html

I can only speak from personal experience, but when we started homeschooling this past September, the program we work with does have a SPED team and DD participates in a social group, albeit through the computer and with a headset. It's obviously not as effective as direct, face-to-face intervention, but it's something. We looked into have our DD participate in her local brick and mortar school's (her "old" school) social group, but in our community, these services for homeschooled and private school children are only available if the child has a learning disability or a communication disability. Autism is not on the short list, unfortunately. Each community may have their own policies, but it's nice to know that home schooled children do have services of some kind.

I believe Mummy_to_Peanut is not here in the US, which is why she may be looking at different options.

Last edited by audball on 09 Feb 2012, 5:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Hi,

In the past I have had to give several teacher & coaches the book, "The myth of Laziness" By Mel Levine....check it out. It really helps explain a lot of what is going in when they look lazy.

All the best,
RG

Just so everyone knows, we're in Scotland. The school system is even different from the rest of the UK, as the Scottish Government has devolved powers to oversee education, health and a few other things, here. The basic rules are set out by the Scottish Government, but each local authority has it's own standards too, which may go above and beyond their requirements, if you're lucky. Education has always been different here anyway, even before we had devolution, and our kids have always done totally different types of exams from the rest of the UK.