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I let my kids stim. Is this ok?

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daydreamer84
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11 Jul 2012, 10:47 pm

CyborgUprising wrote:
Treysar wrote:
My twins have ASD. They are 2.5. They like to jump up and down and hum when they are home. I feel like this is their way of relaxing. Do you think it's ok that I don't interfere with this?

Therapists suggest weighted vests and trying to distract them. I just feel like they need to do it. I worry that when they get older it will appear socially unacceptable. I don't want them to be ostracized, but I feel like it will work itself out (like when they are able to speak) and they will either determine a more socially acceptable stim, or they will just be people who jump. Either way, I juts get the gut feeling that they need to do this right now and I shouldn't interrupt.

What are your thoughts? Please be gentle on me, I'm still learning, and trying to be the best parent I can to my sons.


I agree with your stance on your children's stimming. I believe that the only time it's necessary to halt stimming behavior is when it crosses the boundary into destructive or self-injurious behavior, but even then, it is better to try to redirect the individual by offering a means of accomplishing the same type of input the undesired stim provided. As they get older, it may be best to let them have private "stim time" and provide them with a means of communicating with you that they need to take a break from an overwhelming situation and go to an isolated place to stim. This way they can avoid being made fun of and get the sense of release they need. Weighted vests can be effective for some situations, but they never were enough for me (too loose even when adjusted as tight as possible, not heavy enough, and most looked "clinical"), which is why I bought body armor (much heavier, can be adjusted tightly, and the slight rigidity feels comforting as well). The vests can also become a habituating influence in some users, thus the need to remove them quite often and put them back on after a while. You seem to be an amazing parent, especially for taking the initiative to research the needs of your children and accomodate those needs whenever possible. :cheers:


I agree......I'm 28 years old and I still stim by twirling a string in front of my face at night or when I'm really nervous (in private ). It helps me calm down and it's not hurting anyone. When I was a little kid I had a lot of conflict with my mom because I refused to stop doing it constant;y and in public. Your children are doing pretty well if they're little and they're content to stim only at home. As I got older, as someone else mentioned in this thread, I just learned that home is a safe place where I can do this, and not be judged for it. I think it's great that you're allowing your child to have a safe place to do this as well.



angelbear
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12 Jul 2012, 7:22 pm

I agree that the stimming is filling a sensory need, so it should be allowed in moderate doses. We have had a huge struggle with my son because the majority of his stimming is vocal. He did not really start it until he was 4 yrs old. He is fully verbal now at 7 yrs old, so I wonder if his verbal stimming has helped with his speech development. All I can say is that as much as we adore our son, this has truly taken a toll on us and it has been very difficult. We have tried everything to deal with this, and nothing has worked. However, as time goes on, it is subsiding some.

His verbal stimming consists of making very strange and annoying sounds (some of them actually make my ears hurt when he does them, and I am not autistic). He also says words repetitively, asks repetitive questions, talks to himself alot. The most annoying is the strange sounds. It started out at school, and it appeared to be happening for a number of reasons. The first one seemed that he was doing it to avoid his work at school. Then he would do it every day when my husband came home from work and we were trying to have a conversation. So then we figured it was an attention seeking thing. And then at other times, it was apparent that he was doing it to fill some need.

It has been extremely frustrating, because I want him to be able to release stress, and fill his needs, but we live here too, and sometimes the noise gets unbearable. We are now telling him that he can make his noises in his room as loud as he wants, but he can't do them for an extended period when we are trying to talk or watch a tv show. We are trying to teach him that it is rude to be so loud when others are trying to talk or watch tv. And we give him plenty of attention, he is an only child so he gets lots and lots of attention.

He has stopped doing it at school thank goodness because I was very afraid that they were going to continue to place him in classes with more severely autistic children because of his behavior when he is actually pretty high functioning. When he makes his noises now, it is mostly at home and he can control it when he wants to. I am hopeful that in time he can really learn to do this only in private.

I am not trying to change my son, but I have to keep my sanity as well, and I can tell you that there have been some very noisy days when I literally thought I was going to lose it because of the loudness in my home.



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12 Jul 2012, 8:56 pm

I did not mention that my daughter was a bouncy flapper at your kids' age. This has largely phased out on it's own, with no intervention on my part whatsoever. The only time she does it now is if she is very, very excited. I still think it looks cute, but she is starting to get some unusual looks when she does it now LOL! I just tell her that she expresses her happiness with her whole body and people look at her because not many people do that.