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Is it wrong to give them the Cold Hard Facts?

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MrXxx
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15 Nov 2012, 11:40 am

Yup. And if you get involved in a power play with an ASD kid, you may as well :wall:

:lol:

The thing is, we want them to learn to pick their battles, and the best way to teach them that is to pick our battles with them wisely. That actually does set an example for them.


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Lesley1978
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15 Nov 2012, 11:45 am

The parenting class I took said that "taking charge" is like throwing down a gauntlet for a lot of kids. It is asking them to have the will power not to pick up the gauntlet. Well, the parent/adult didn't have the will power not to throw the gauntlet down.

I do not like people who throw down gauntlets where I am supposed to respond in some certain way. It drives me crazy.

So if it is even more extreme for someone on the spectrum that is good information for me.



JoeDirt
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23 Nov 2012, 2:42 pm

ASDMommyASDKid wrote:
twinplets wrote:
Maybe you can explain this.. Why is it he hates to admit he was wrong, even when he is faced with proof?


My thoughts for what they are worth:

To some degree everyone likes to be validated, but yes I think people on the spectrum value it more.

When it is so hard to gauge things, whether it is body language, facial expression, fine motor control, social context and rules etc., it just makes a person feel extra good about being right, especially if people seem to always be correcting what you are doing. It also feels extra cruddy being wrong, and you start to question if you know even the things you thought you knew. Not a good feeling. It is much more comfortable to convince yourself you were right.

Some of it is from being the center of ones own universe. You can't necessarily imagine someone knowing more than you. It is very similar, I think to how a lot of (not all) NT teens are. :)




SO true. Nobody likes to be wrong. I hate it too... :)

Last night we had a major breakthrough, as my son has spent the last 6+ years of his life blaming other people for things that go wrong, even if nobody else is even remotely responsible for the issue.

Last night I go to feed his fish, and proceed to dump an entire can of fish food into the tank because the lid was not screwed on. (shake through lid, but he opens it and pinches it out) About 30 seconds later, he says on his own "Sorry Daddy, that was my fault. I fed my fish and didn't screw the lid back on." I was floored- he has never said anything like that. He's progressing, that confirmed it for me. He does get it, and was listening all of those other times... :)