cinlewis wrote:
OliveOilMom wrote:
I would seriously have a hard time resisting the urge to spit in your face and I am a calm, hard-to-provoke person. You clearly have no idea what it is like to care for someone on the spectrum, let alone what it is like to be someone on the spectrum.
Ok I will clarify: this single mom is my girlfriend that I have been living with for almost two years, and she is divorced from her daughter's father. This mom will not work, but lives off child support from the girls dad, the SSI for her daughter's autism, and I pay the entire rent on the house and all bills. She uses her child support/SSI on food, car payments, and credit card payments, and whatever needs her daughter requires when you take away the rent/electricity that I supply (yes there are therapy copays and such but not too expensive).
Your daughter may be a career wrecker as you say, but this girl is not. She is on the spectrum, and she does have meldowns with her mom, but never with me. I babysit this kid all the time when the mother is out and she is fine...not normal, as she is obviously on the spectrum...but she gives me little problem other than the fact that she has obsessions and does not gravitate towards activities that normal girls do, so I always have to keep an eye out for her to not get into trouble, whereas normal girls can be trusted much easier when they are playing with Barbies or video games. My secret is I made the house rules clear to her and I don't let her get away with anything and for some reason it works like a charm.
But as soon as the mom comes home, that kid starts giving her an immensely hard time, as the mom lets her get away with everything. I tell her mom I will stay and watch the child after school hours so that she can work, but for the past couple years she has the excuse that she can't find a job. The daughter's father is very active in her life and has her about 40% of the time, but does not get any of the SSI benefit since it was the mother who did all the work to get the daughter accepted for benefits...and the girl is fine with her dad...but not other members of his family "who let her get away with things" (to quote him)
I'm sorry if my post sounds judgemental to you but I'm simply telling exactly what I and several others have observed. The particular little girl is truly autistic so no fraud there, but I don't understand why she's no problem with strict people. Or maybe her dad and I just have a high tolerance and patience for her special needs and know to make her understand.
Okay so you left out a LOT of pretty important information.
Your original post appeared to be an indictment of parents of spectrum kids collecting SSI. The responses were not surprising at all.
What you've outlined here with a lot of clarification is a very specific situation.
Honestly though, the clarification isn't much of a defense of your original post. It isn't because now it looks as though you may have judged all who collect benefits to help them take care of their kids on the spectrum, based only on what you've observed in this ONE situation.
I gave you the benefit of the doubt with my first reply, but what you posted here is nothing but a justification for your original post, with no indication that you now, from what we've explained, understand how it is that anyone might need SSI to raise a kid on the spectrum.
IOW: you seemed to want to know whether anyone would really need SSI to raise an ASD child, and why. We've explained it, but all you're doing is justifying yourself.
If all you really wanted was validation for thinking she doesn't deserve it, you should have said so. it doesn't seem to me that you really wanted to know what real reasons there are for needing SSI.
I can't tell you whether she deserves it or not. I'm not there. I would now ask you a question.
If you think so lowly of her, what on earth are you doing with her?
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I'm not likely to be around much longer. As before when I first signed up here years ago, I'm finding that after a long hiatus, and after only a few days back on here, I'm spending way too much time here again already. So I'm requesting my account be locked, banned or whatever. It's just time. Until then, well, I dunno...
16 Dec 2012, 1:16 pm
