Because no one else will understand...

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InThisTogether
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18 Feb 2013, 2:59 pm

Thanks, guys.

The whole bit about the "problem" with his brain should probably be clarified. Usually, we do not refer to it as a problem, but rather that his brain works differently. But since he started with the word "problem," I stuck with it to not contradict his feelings, but in hindsight, I should have probably responded differently and refocusing that it is not a "problem" per se. That being said, it is causing a "problem" for him at this point in time. Poor guy.


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momsparky
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18 Feb 2013, 8:17 pm

Ugh, so sorry.

However, he has one HUGE asset you should point out to him: he is self-aware. This is no small thing, most other kids have no idea who they are or what they're about and can't see the things he pointed out. While there isn't much use for this in middle school, it will be an incredible asset as an adult (most adults spend their time lying to themselves and getting in trouble because of it.)

When DS goes into one of these jags, I try to sit with him and talk about his assets. He does have them, though they are hidden: for instance, he can do a lot of higher-level thinking in science and algebra (while being totally unable to do computation or things of its ilk) and he can write well once he gets past the mechanics of writing. He has an incredible memory and a keen eye. Sometimes it helps, sometimes not.

I nearly built my adult life around that part of a Wrinkle In Time where the main character uses her weaknesses (her awfully Aspie-like weaknesses!) to save the day. DS just won't get into that book, but it might help other kids.

Hugs to both of you - it's tough being a kid. And a Mom.



InThisTogether
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18 Feb 2013, 8:44 pm

Oh, how I tried to get him into a Wrinkle in Time! One of my very favorite books growing up. But it doesn't catch him enough for him to finish it!

I remember the pain of middle school so brilliantly. I just feel awful for him. But I guess one thing that he has that I did not, is a parent who listens and understands exactly why it is so awful. I had a mom who listened, but didn't get it and a dad who just told me to stop being so emotional! LOL!


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momsparky
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19 Feb 2013, 9:08 am

InThisTogether wrote:
Oh, how I tried to get him into a Wrinkle in Time! One of my very favorite books growing up. But it doesn't catch him enough for him to finish it!

I remember the pain of middle school so brilliantly. I just feel awful for him. But I guess one thing that he has that I did not, is a parent who listens and understands exactly why it is so awful. I had a mom who listened, but didn't get it and a dad who just told me to stop being so emotional! LOL!


Yep, me, too - 100% (Well, except my mother didn't listen either.)



Mummy_of_Peanut
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19 Feb 2013, 9:21 am

InThisTogether, He has you and that will go a long way. You seem to really 'get' him and totally understand what he's going through. And he can come to you for support and speaks freely about his differences. That's special. I'm working on having that sort of relationship wth my daughter, for when the time comes. My own experience was very different. I have great parents, but I never spoke to anyone about any of my troubles, I bottled them all up. I didn't really know what to tell them and they didn't even know I was unhappy, so never asked. Had I been able to speak to someone, I'm sure life would have been different. It does get better, in time. The phrase, 'school is the best days of your life', must be awful for some kids to hear. It's simply not the case for many.


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cberg
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19 Feb 2013, 12:31 pm

InThisTogether wrote:
Oh, how I tried to get him into a Wrinkle in Time! One of my very favorite books growing up. But it doesn't catch him enough for him to finish it!

I remember the pain of middle school so brilliantly. I just feel awful for him. But I guess one thing that he has that I did not, is a parent who listens and understands exactly why it is so awful. I had a mom who listened, but didn't get it and a dad who just told me to stop being so emotional! LOL!


I believe the other thread contributors have finished the tangent I started - particularly when his struggles relate to his age, remind your son of how unique he is to be able to take a mental "step back" and examine how his personality rebounds from middle school stress. I'd know - I spent most of it in the library!


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19 Feb 2013, 1:03 pm

InThisTogether wrote:
Maturity is subjective at best. People (especially kids) are typically more mature in regards to individual things rather than being mature as a whole. There are huge numbers of adults that play with model trains. Who use there cars as toys. There are entire industries built around the adult populations lack of maturity as in race cars and gambling. Do you think kids who don't play with stuffed animals dont like stuffed animals? No: What it really is: is that they have allowed themselves to be influenced by others to put them away. So who is really the mature one. A person who does not like something because everyone says they shouldn't? Or the person who likes what they like regardless of peer pressure and propaganda?

Personally I find it refreshing that my Chloe is not as pressured by outside influences. That she just simply likes what she likes.

That's my perspective.
And that is what its all about isn't it? Perspective.

I absolutely agree, coudln´t have say it better.



lattes
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20 Feb 2013, 4:32 pm

Thought I would add this, it was never that terrible for me but maybe I just have selective memory...

http://www.upworthy.com/bullies-called- ... ed-it-into



InThisTogether
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20 Feb 2013, 6:02 pm

lattes wrote:
Thought I would add this, it was never that terrible for me but maybe I just have selective memory...

http://www.upworthy.com/bullies-called- ... ed-it-into


That is the most moving thing I have seen in a long time. Wow. Remarkable. Beautiful. Poignant.

Wow. Speechless.

Thank you.


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