Because no one else will understand...
Thanks, guys.
The whole bit about the "problem" with his brain should probably be clarified. Usually, we do not refer to it as a problem, but rather that his brain works differently. But since he started with the word "problem," I stuck with it to not contradict his feelings, but in hindsight, I should have probably responded differently and refocusing that it is not a "problem" per se. That being said, it is causing a "problem" for him at this point in time. Poor guy.
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Mom to 2 exceptional atypical kids
Long BAP lineage
Ugh, so sorry.
However, he has one HUGE asset you should point out to him: he is self-aware. This is no small thing, most other kids have no idea who they are or what they're about and can't see the things he pointed out. While there isn't much use for this in middle school, it will be an incredible asset as an adult (most adults spend their time lying to themselves and getting in trouble because of it.)
When DS goes into one of these jags, I try to sit with him and talk about his assets. He does have them, though they are hidden: for instance, he can do a lot of higher-level thinking in science and algebra (while being totally unable to do computation or things of its ilk) and he can write well once he gets past the mechanics of writing. He has an incredible memory and a keen eye. Sometimes it helps, sometimes not.
I nearly built my adult life around that part of a Wrinkle In Time where the main character uses her weaknesses (her awfully Aspie-like weaknesses!) to save the day. DS just won't get into that book, but it might help other kids.
Hugs to both of you - it's tough being a kid. And a Mom.
Oh, how I tried to get him into a Wrinkle in Time! One of my very favorite books growing up. But it doesn't catch him enough for him to finish it!
I remember the pain of middle school so brilliantly. I just feel awful for him. But I guess one thing that he has that I did not, is a parent who listens and understands exactly why it is so awful. I had a mom who listened, but didn't get it and a dad who just told me to stop being so emotional! LOL!
_________________
Mom to 2 exceptional atypical kids
Long BAP lineage
I remember the pain of middle school so brilliantly. I just feel awful for him. But I guess one thing that he has that I did not, is a parent who listens and understands exactly why it is so awful. I had a mom who listened, but didn't get it and a dad who just told me to stop being so emotional! LOL!
Yep, me, too - 100% (Well, except my mother didn't listen either.)
Mummy_of_Peanut
Veteran
Joined: 20 Feb 2011
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,564
Location: Bonnie Scotland
InThisTogether, He has you and that will go a long way. You seem to really 'get' him and totally understand what he's going through. And he can come to you for support and speaks freely about his differences. That's special. I'm working on having that sort of relationship wth my daughter, for when the time comes. My own experience was very different. I have great parents, but I never spoke to anyone about any of my troubles, I bottled them all up. I didn't really know what to tell them and they didn't even know I was unhappy, so never asked. Had I been able to speak to someone, I'm sure life would have been different. It does get better, in time. The phrase, 'school is the best days of your life', must be awful for some kids to hear. It's simply not the case for many.
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"We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life, when all we need to make us really happy is something to be enthusiatic about." Charles Kingsley
I remember the pain of middle school so brilliantly. I just feel awful for him. But I guess one thing that he has that I did not, is a parent who listens and understands exactly why it is so awful. I had a mom who listened, but didn't get it and a dad who just told me to stop being so emotional! LOL!
I believe the other thread contributors have finished the tangent I started - particularly when his struggles relate to his age, remind your son of how unique he is to be able to take a mental "step back" and examine how his personality rebounds from middle school stress. I'd know - I spent most of it in the library!
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"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos
Personally I find it refreshing that my Chloe is not as pressured by outside influences. That she just simply likes what she likes.
That's my perspective.
And that is what its all about isn't it? Perspective.
I absolutely agree, coudln´t have say it better.
Thought I would add this, it was never that terrible for me but maybe I just have selective memory...
http://www.upworthy.com/bullies-called- ... ed-it-into
http://www.upworthy.com/bullies-called- ... ed-it-into
That is the most moving thing I have seen in a long time. Wow. Remarkable. Beautiful. Poignant.
Wow. Speechless.
Thank you.
_________________
Mom to 2 exceptional atypical kids
Long BAP lineage
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