toilet training: what worked for your little one?

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We first used just little jogging pants with no underwear. A less to fiddle with at the start. When I thought she had the whole sequence down, I added the underwear.

I took us about two weeks.

My son is autistic with speech delay and can be very oppositional. I did what the above poster did plus almost everything else already mentioned simultaneously and had him potty trained sometime before his 4th birthday. He was in cloth diapers from the start, I showed him videos and when he was finally willing to sit on the potty (getting him to do that much was the most difficult part, and sometimes still is when it comes to public rest rooms) ... when he would sit on the potty I started encouraging him to use it. He would not tell me when he had to go so I eventually took away his pants and watched him like a hawk for a couple weeks (I have hard wood floors in most of the house, a lot of carpeting could pose a problem unless you put plastic down), tantrums were ignored - it was non-negotiable. Whatever room he was in the potty was in. I often had it in front of the TV to encourage him to sit on it. When he started to go I would distract him and try to either get him to sit on the potty or put the potty under him. If most of it went in the potty he got a lot of praise, a sticker and momentarily his pants back - sans diaper at least until after his next meal or cup of juice (after having washed cloth diapers for so long cleaning soiled pants wasn't an issue). If he did soil himself in his regular pants he had to stop what he was doing and take a bath, not fun for him. If he deliberately pooped on the floor (after already proving to me he could go in the potty if he wanted to, he did this two or three times as an act of defiance) he was disciplined (accidents were met with sympathy). After getting his pants back sometimes I'd offer to let him play outside and if he refused to pee before leaving the house or refused to let me know he had to go while we were out there he'd wet himself and have to walk all the way back to the house with wet pants and shoes and take a bath, all the while I'd say it was a shame he didn't use the potty before we left or that he didn't let me know while we were out there because if he did he would still be outside playing instead of having to bathe and change clothes. It was pretty rough but letting him have those accidents helped him get the message that pooping and peeing in his pants wasn't something he wanted to do.

I completely agree with this. It's very rare for anyone to use pull ups to toilet train in the UK these days. Even at nursery you take a bag full of spare trousers/underwear and they are sent home with any wet/soiled ones in a plastic bag for washing.
I think it makes it a hell of a lot harder for even NT kids if they can't feel that they've wet. Add that to ASD where they may be struggling with recognising the urge that they need to wee/poo and the fact that they have a 2/3+ year association with weeing and pooing in a nappy and pull ups are just making life more difficult imo. You are never going to train a child without some accidents whenever you switch to pants so I would always just do it from the off. It's cheaper too (even if you count the pairs that have to go in the bin cos you can't face washing them!)

I wish they would do that here. I had my son partially trained by pre-k, fully trained about half way through and they even discouraged me from sending him in regular underpants then b/c they did not want to deal with the just in case. It was special ed pre-k on the top of it. They just did not want to be bothered with anything other than paper. I think almost all daycares in the U.S are like that, too.

I had a hard time getting my son interested in the potty. he would be interested and then lose interest and get scared of it. I also couldn't get him to sit on it either. I tried bribes and he refused. Then I think he finally figured it out right before he turned three because he started going in the potty just to get a cookie. I did also try the no diaper and pull up method but he would wet his pants and take them off and still would have accidents and then take his wet clothes off. But I think he finally figured it out by connecting the dots and figured out how to release his pee in the potty. We had been trying on and off for a year and then didn't try again for at least six months and the I started up again around August.

Only thing to keep my kid motivated and interested in the potty is keep giving him treats. I found out I can't take them away or else he won't use his potty and he will just wet himself. I just have to hope he won't get fat.

Basically people are forced to use training pants. They can use them for daycare only. I think it has to do with safety hazard so they don't want accidents on floors or in clothes and they won't even allow cloth diapers. Most day cares don't I have read. There is something about bodily functions work places have an issue with and I have seen how we have to handle poop and pee when someone urinates outside or poops or when someone wets the bed and what the hotel has to do with the wet sheets or sheets with blood on it from the woman's period or from someone's body. It's nothing like how we do it at home. Blood and poop and pee is considered a hazard here and people even wear disposable gloves when they change a diaper. Is this a USA thing or are other countries that way about bodily functions and blood?

We tried taking away his pull ups and going pantsless and with regular underwear or slightly absorbent training pants.
It was awful because he has huge meltdowns when he makes any kind of mess- spills water, etc. He would have an hour long meltdown each time he wet/soiled himself and then started holding in it. It created a lot of aversion to the whole process and was, in the end, a huge step backward.

Isn't that the point? Holding it in? Then he will use the bathroom because he doesn't want to have an accident.

No. The point is to get him to hold it in and then USE the toilet. He would hold it in for several hours at a time, refusing food and drink, and not release on the toilet at all. He'd hold it until he couldn't any longer, and then have an accident. This is definitely NOT the point.

If you have tried every thing and it's not working, maybe he's really not ready and you should back off and try again in a few weeks or months. If he lets you maybe just keep offering without pressure at set times like prior to getting in the bathtub or after a juice and maybe use something that allows him feel a little wet in the meantime.

We had to back off, too b/c of the difficulty with potties away from home, and our non-optional weekend trips. We also had that holding pee in problem on those trips, and I basically had to tell him it was OK to go in the pull ups b/c he refused to use a potty anywhere but our bathroom. He kept trying to hold it in until we got home... (They did not take all weekend, but almost a full day either on Sat or Sun) So I had to back off.

If you are not comfortable completely backtracking, assuming none of these other suggestions work, then maybe try making it very low key. Put a reward chart up--not b/c you expect him to be motivated, but just as a reminder. If you have visual instructions posted, leave them up, and then maybe tell him that he can go to the bathroom when he needs to. Leave the books you have, by his potty and/or somewhere he might read it, if he doesn't think you are looking. My son would do that when he wanted it to be his idea, and we had some success with that.

The other thing, now that I am thinking, is after he was evaled for a diagnosis and the public pre-k program, he did -want- to go to school. They made it sound like fun. So, I did tell him that he needed to make progress in his potty training, or he might not be able to go (I was not sure if he would be considered severe enough for 1/2 day spec ed one or not) I think that did help, but I would caution you from trying that, unless you have a very good feeling as it could backfire on you if he is anxious about school or perceives it to be too much extra pressure.

Would bringing the potty chair along work? Some kids are scared of public toilets or toilets they are not used to. My son is scared of big toilets and will not use public toilets to pee in them even standing. How about having them pee on the side of the road if it's on a road trip?

My husband and I decided we need to start bringing the potty chair along and leave it in the car. I also told him he takes him to the bathroom next time since he told me he(our son) will only use it when he sees him go.

When we were toilet training, (We've been done for some time now) it literally had to be in his little potty, in the bathroom at home. We tried taking the potty to my mom's place, which was known to him, and a place he liked, and he still would not go. He was that rigid. He also disliked being away from home, as a general rule, and really still prefers home.

That is what a lot of kids do. Learning that if you hold it you will feel uncomfortable and eventually have an accident is an important part of the process. I understand you want to protect him as being messy upsets him but I doubt it's possible to toilet train a child without a fair few accidents.

+1 to the above. It is impossible to not have some accidents and I think with the ASD and 'self direction' they helped him learn more than anything I said though we had to replace his mattress at the end of it. It's best with wooden or laminate floors, but you can get plastic sheeting if you have carpets. Put away anything you can not bear being urinated or pooed on till the worst is over and just go for it. We went completely pantless to start of with, then phased in boxer shorts once he had the hang of pulling them up and down, then added trousers to the mix (no buttons, elasticated waistband) and finally shoes and socks. He would completely take off his trousers and pants every time he went so getting them stuck on shoes caused a couple of accidents.

I respectfully disagree. My son would do the holding in part and not have an accident--for long amounts of time. This is not healthy for the excretory system, and if the child is that stubborn, it is a very bad idea to allow that. That was why we had to backtrack on it back when.