Back to School Blues

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Do you mean an aide for DS, or a general classroom aide? There may be a general aide, but DS has no aide so far. He only has "pulls" for speech, etc. I know aides are expensive and schools don't like to offer them unless they really feel there's no other option. Since DS is an aspie of the talkative, outgoing, incessantly-active variety, he is something of a wheel that squeaks for itself. I could never argue half as well for an aide for him as he can by just being himself day after day.

Cool!

Inclusion is what they call it here when there is a general classroom aide. That is great that he can self-advocate. My son is the talkative-type (now) but mainly about special-interests. He has gotten better at expressing other things, though.

If there is a general classroom aide, and if he needs it, the classroom aide(if there is one) can (hopefully) help him redirect/focus him if he needs it.

Actually all I meant was that he will probably drive everyone crazy until they assign him an aide to save their own sanity. He monologues, asks tons of weird questions, sings and makes sounds to himself, never sits still (his IEP actually allows him to stand up or kneel on his seat), loses and breaks things continually, and has horrible horrible organizational skills.

Gotcha!

Ha ha ha.... he sounds so much like my son. The funny thing is that OUTSIDE of school, people generally find him to be cute, charming, bright, entertaining, and enjoyable. It's only in the very rigid school environment that his personality is a complete FAIL. Of course when I say "people" (who enjoy him outside of school) I'm talking about family & friends who also tend to be on the nerdy side, and/or on the spectrum themselves, and appreciate his cleverness and don't care if he's got what "normal" people would consider some "oddities"....

I have said many times to the staff or IEP team that I understand my kid because he and I are so much alike... and they all look at me like, "huh?" and think I'm lying, because I don't behave the same way he does... but what they fail to understand is that our INNER selves are very very similar...I so totally "get" his feelings on so many of the things that frustrate or confuse him. It's just that I was always an introvert (and therefore very little trouble to anyone, especially at school), whereas my son is a super-extrovert, who takes everyone along for the ride of his thoughts and feelings.... the irony is that if he were an introvert, he would probably still have all the same issues that they claim to be so concerned about, but I really doubt they would make a fuss, because he wouldn't be ANNOYING everyone. (Although I may be wrong about that, as we no longer live in the age where kids are silently allowed to fail, even if they are not making any trouble for anyone.... my brother survived school in the 70s & 80s (undiagnosed AS) by staying WAY under the radar and not minding that he was getting lots of Ds and Fs-- not because he didn't understand the material, but because he couldn't be bothered to do hours upon hours of pointless busy-work. That would never fly today.)

My son has always hated the schoolwork, from Day 1. Maybe 1 in 100 worksheets will actually interest or engage him. The rest of the time, it requires serious carrot-and-stick to get him to do ANYTHING at all. At school he will rarely do any work at all and they send it all home, uncompleted. I get him to do his homework by bribing him with salty snack and candies ("I'll give you a Skittle for each math problem you do.") It's the only thing that works. He would literally rather pick at a piece of carpet lint for 3 hours than voluntarily do a worksheet, even when the work is WELL within his capabilities.

Having the aide has not helped him with getting the work done, or prevented him from driving the rest of the class nuts. What it does, is give him a babysitter to remove him if he's being disruptive, or someone to walk him over to the resource room to try to do his work there instead (which he usually doesn't.) It's still worth it though because it takes the pressure off the teacher, and therefore she will not immediately hate my son and his family and jump instantly on Team "Get Him Out of Here."

I keep holding out for the day when he has the epiphany that actually doing the work will take the pressure off, will get everyone off his back, and actually free up more time for him to do what he WANTS to do. It's apparently not an easy lesson to learn. My brother didn't figure it out until 11th grade. Man I hope it doesn't take that long for my son.

This is just like me and my son.

I can relate.I try to explain to my son that he makes it harder on himself but it doesn't seem to register.We give him a lot of praise when he complies, even if he protests.He's earned rewards for doing what he needs to do but persists.I'm hoping in time he "gets it".