Autistic neighbor

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If we lived in the US there would be one less family. And pepper spray, bear spray etc is not legal here. Neither are firearms.And we can't press charges because he is not capable of understanding, nor can we hold the parents liable for a child. And legally it has to be disclosed in the sale.

There hasn't been a visit in three years. The 15 year old who trespassed regularly is now 18 and doesn't come there anymore.

What is the problem, now?

That things were bad then? OK, that sounds really terrible, but it's over? What is the question? Why are we talking about vuvuzelas and air horns for something that happened three years ago? Unless you also have a time machine there is no way to fix what happened in the past.

So what is this thread actually about? That's where the lack of sympathy comes from. Is it a need to vent? Looking for tea and sympathy?

There is something very strange about this?

What is this about:


Since you understand this person's perspective, can you explain why any of this is an issue for the OP and how we are supposed to respond to these questions?

I don't get it.

Well, now that the kid is 18, any further acts of unlawful trespass can be met with loud noises and water from the garden hose. But if he hasn't been a problem in 3 years, then disclosing his behavior may no longer be an issue.

I say that the OP would be better off to sell the house, even at a low margin, move out of the county, and put it all behind them.

...

Back in Michigan, we had trouble with peeping Toms. Dad set up an electric fence (made for livestock) at about waist height under each window. That night, at the first scream, Dad was out the door and on the prowler, fists a-flying (It was the only time I was ever glad to see him angry). The perp managed to run off, and had a hard time explaining to his parents where he got the bruises (so I heard at school).

I helped Dad take down the fence right after the perp left. No one ever came around to ask about it, and the perp never snuck around our house again ... he did end up in the county jail on morals charges, but that's another story.

We don't really know if anybody in their community has sided with them or not, we only know that the Family is posting about it on social media and that the OP believes the family is badmouthing them to neighbors. We have no idea if the neighbors agree with them or not. If the dad is the jerk that the OP tells us he is, I would guess that at least some of the neighbors would be savvy enough to notice this quality in him and not take his word at face value.

I agree, if this is the whole story, that the dad of the boy has not been helpful or sympathetic and may have used his officer status to deter the OP's family from getting relief of this stressful situation. I guess, like some other posters, I am wondering what the intention of the thread is since the situation is no longer continuing. I think maybe it was posted in a parenting kids with ASD forum for validation? Like, "these people have autistic kids and THEY think it was awful too?" But, I am confused. It lacks transparency. And, as other posters have mentioned, I wonder if we have the whole picture. I would hesitate to judge the other family without more knowledge of their situation.

However, I sympathize with what the OP has had to go through.

Where are you living?

If other posters are allowed to vent about their issues including those that took place in the past, I don't understand why people have a problem with the OP venting about their issues even if those occurred 3 years ago. As the OP said, there are still some social repercussions in the neighborhood and the kids have some residual effects from it.

I am still hoping it's a troll post and will keep pretending it is because this is all disturbing if this is all real and scary and frightening. In the US if this happened, the person would be taken away for help and treatment. Perhaps hospitalization or a group home. They wouldn't go to jail if they were too insane or if their IQ was too low so they didn't know what the were doing or if they were too incompetent. But what country allows this?

But assuming this is for real, it looks to me she wants to know what she can do to stop the badmouthing. I would easily say move. Move to another spot in the same area. There, now they can start over and no one will know them. but I believe this was also posted online with their real names so t's not like they can really move away from it and that is the OP's concern.

But, then why did the OP choose a parents forum in an autistic community to post it in? Plus, the OP already has the answers to why there is nothing more that they can do (no money to file a slander suit, police not helpful, etc.) and the kid is no longer trespassing. Plus, these are questions best asked in a different forum/ community. So, the only reason (from my limited perspective) is for validation from parents have have autistic children? But the OP won't come right out and say. An autism parenting forum is not the most logical place to seek legal advice, unless it has to do with getting services, etc.

Mmm good point, where would these stories belong then? It's not uncommon for people to go on an autism forum or a parenting autism forum and post these extreme stories. Since I keep hearing that autism doesn't cause us to be violent and that we know right from wrong, I am starting to wonder if any of these stories are posted by trolls. But then don't forget about the news media where a violent autistic is reported. They unfortunately report rare cases so it makes it look common in us. I know of a forum that always finds these stories and shares them on their forum and they all believe that autism causes violence and that w are all psychopaths because of these posts people put online and what the media reports.

Yeah. It seems like every time there is a crazed gunman, like Sandy Hook Or that guy who shot down the college girls, the media likes to blame the behavior on Aspergers.

I have asked a few times what specifically the OP wants, but the poster has not been clear, despite that. If the poster is seeking some sort of empathy or validation, this is an odd place to post. If that is the case, then it would appear to be to get some kind of agreement like, "Even other parents of autistic people think they are awful," or something. That to me is odd, and also I think inappropriate for someone who is not a parent of of autistic kids to come on, asking us to trash other parents. Maybe I am not verbalizing my discomfort, right. But I think that is close.

This, this, and this again.

There was a less extreme story about a 15 year old in Chicago charging after an officer with a knife and he got shot. he had Asperger's.

Other people have posted on wp about autistic children coming to their house and being somewhat disruptive, not as disruptive as this boy. Usually, the people posting about it tolerated these behaviors for quite awhile, and I remember one of them asked if they were tolerant enough, which most people in general discussion said they were highly tolerant to put up with the behaviors which were really the parents' problem due to the parents not watching their child as they should have.

In my view, there should be additional tolerance from neighbors for children who don't understand the effects of their behaviors on others and have trouble following instructions not to do something, but there should also be a limit of tolerable behavior.

I remember someone else posted a similar story to this but it was less extreme. Unsupervised autistic boy, parents don't seem to give a darn so they let him run wild, boy comes to their house also and causes some trouble and to other neighbors if I remember correctly. It was posted in the GAD. Another reason to be suspicious of this story.

I had to scroll back to find it---but I think this is the part I have the most issues with.

The above passage is a petty complaint, especially relative to the other more dramatic backdrop of trespass, property damage, police corruption et al.

Complaining about special buses and handicapped spots? Really? Not to mention the very last sentence which seems to express a desire to extract a lesson to be applied to all parents of autistic children that the OP thinks feel entitled. (Especially given that the OP does not understand the myrad purposes special buses and likely other services have.)

That in combination with the clear desire to tell the family how to manage the issue (lanyards and additional deadbolts) rubs me the wrong way. The OP has a right to tell the family to make sure their kid stays off their property. The OP does not have the right to tell them how.

Again, the original tale of trespass, property damage, police corruption is not something anyone should have to put up with; but that part is over. So, that in combination with my other thoughts is why I am questioning the posts.