Do all parents of ASD kids wonder if they have it too?

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I thought you had me there. But then I googled. And guess what? They are changing the name for that, too. Its now called "Intrauterine Growth Restriction."

Here are the new ICD codes. They came into use in 2015. https://icd.codes/icd10cm/P059
The ICD 9 still used retardation, but most other organizations stopped using that long before the insurance companies came around. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intrauter ... estriction

The reason for the terminology change is that the word ret*d is strongly associated with a non-changable inability to learn, and typically resulted in institutionalization for most of the 20th century. It wasn't used to describe a need for educational support, it was used as an excuse to NOT treat people. If you were ret*d, there was nothing that could be done for you. Outside forces had ruined any chance you had of a happy life and the best you could do was not be a burden.

This thing were we blame it all on being PC is not the whole story. Its not a cuss word just because some people use it colloquially. Its a cuss word because its OFFICIAL meaning was that of hopelessness.

I hear you. That's why I put the date (and it wasn't 20 yrs ago) in my reply; these things change. And as a Black woman married to a Jewish man and mother of two autistic children, trust me, I get it.

I think I was a bit sensitive last night. This election cycle has been nothing but a constant stream of triggers for me (jeez!). So, I really didn't like what felt like yelling at the OP. My read.

Didn't mean to cause drama.

Edited: meant to say "I" was sensitive. Bad timing on that particular typo!

My dad probably has a extremely mild form of autism or isn't Autistic enough for diagnosis. He fits a good amount of traits. He has social anxiety. I mean it is very possible. That he could. He also has short term memory problems. He doesn't wonder per say.

By your logic, as the mother of an autistic child I can use the "n" word.

Never said that nor did I intimate it. And the logic you use to try to make that reach is flawed at its core. (the correct parallel would be if your child was black, since the r-word would be used against my kids, but not me. Even then, it wouldn't hold up against what I was actually saying, which is that I understand that words hurt since I live my life on the receiving end of five of the most vile, perjorative insults that a human being can throw).

As I told you years ago, leave me alone. I'm not interested in fighting with you. The debate is over, all sides are calm, and here you come in trying to stir things up. Bored? Find someone else.

Hi all! New poster here.

Yes! I wonder about this everyday. If I do have the traits that would put me on the spectrum then I am thankful for it. It allows me to better understand my son which is what matters most to me.

Growing up in 80's there was not the awareness and support we have today. I often wonder, had there been more awareness, would I have had a different experience?

I lived most of my life with my grandmother. She told me about how my mother referred to me a "a weird child". I distinctly remember starting to withdraw around the age of 5 because I never seemed to say the right thing at the right time. Felt better to just stay quiet and not deal with it. I didn't really have friends until middle school. I started to pick up on social queues that came naturally to others and became better at it during high school. It's a constant, daily struggle, though, as it is definitely something that I have to think through and it becomes quite tiresome. I usually need alone time to regroup after social interactions such as holidays, parties, and big meetings at work.

Since my son's diagnosis both grandfather's have come out to say, "He gets this from me." I am happy they feel that they understand him a little and that he is very much accepted in this family.

I'm on the other side of it. I'm beginning to understand that my mother is a little BAP -Broader Autism Phenome - or might even be one of those hidden ASDers. It clears so much up. My mother had some traits of a narcissist, but she really isn't because she was actually trying and narcissists don't do that. Understanding that her bad moments of parenting likely came from a place of disability similar to my own helps me forgive her. She still hasn't put the pieces together. I don't know if she ever will. I keep fantasizing about slipping her that online quiz, but she's so "has everything" in life that I suspect that she'll come up NT. She was just lucky to have married early to a person who would support her when she failed in her career, and provide the social buffering she needs. Some of the HORRIBLE things she's said to me. It just all makes sense to me. Who would look at a little child and admit that she liked the other sibling more? Or tell your kid flat out that they weren't going to college because they aren't smart enough? (I have a graduate degree now, BTW.) Or spank a child for crying too much or laughing too much? The list just goes on and on. Undiagnosed ASD does not lend itself well to good parenting skills. She must have been so lost.

What you said reminds me of some things I have been through with my own mother. What you said is very compassionate. I have been trying hard to see things through her eyes as she had her own set of struggles. Especially now, after having little, sweet children of my own, I wonder how she could do certain things that she did. I hope to always be very supportive and understanding of my kids and never make them feel judged or abandoned by me. At the same time, I also want to understand her and try to see the world through her eyes... but that seems much harder!