One Approach to School Bullying.

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https://travisma.wordpress.com/2013/12/12/the-necessity-of-stress/
... The Biosphere 2 project was created as a research tool for scientists to study Earth’s living systems, and it allowed scientists to play with farming and innovation in a way that didn’t harm the planet. One of the most profound discoveries made by the scientists had nothing to do with a cure for some new disease or a new way of farming land. Rather, the discovery had to do with the wind’s role in a tree’s life. The trees inside Biosphere 2 grew rapidly, more rapidly than they did outside of the dome, but they also fell over before reaching maturation. After looking at the root systems and outer layers of bark, the scientists came to realize that a lack of wind in Biosphere 2 caused a deficiency of stress wood. Stress wood helps a tree position itself for optimal sun absorption and it also helps trees grow more solidly. Without stress wood, a tree can grow quickly, but it cannot support itself fully. It cannot withstand normal wear and tear, and survive. In other words, the trees needed some stress in order to thrive in the long run. ...

My attitude has always been this: don't give your children fish. Teach them to fish, instead. I don't believe there is a magic formula to handling bullying. Instead, providing all necessary information, and letting teenagers figure out whatever they want to do to solve their own problems, is much more valuable. Bullying (and being bullied) has existed for thousands of years. If it has been there for so long, it's because it plays a role into the survival of human societies. I don't look at bullying negatively. I look at it as an integral part of growing up. I really do recommend this movie "Giant Little Ones" to any parent. It's a great title for a movie. The value for teenagers to go through problems and figuring out solutions on their own, is irreplaceable. I mean, respect your children as equal-rights human beings. Part of their development is to figure out their own ways of solving problems.

I went through both archetypal types of bullying, however I was bullied by guys the most. Usually physically. Most of the manipulative bullying I experienced from other girls occurred during the elementary/primary school years. As I became a teenager this shifted towards being physically targeted by guys. I was still sometimes picked on by girls and boys in my teenage years emotionally, but physical attacks (especially those aimed at triggering my claustrophobia) were more common. Whilst I hear a lot about how boys physically bullying each other, and girls using malicious gossip to emotionally manipulate, can be explained by psychology, I hear less about when bullies target the opposite sex. Aside from "Oh, they must have a crush on you!" I always hated when people would act like I was supposed to be flattered by such a possibility. So what if they do? That doesn't justify their behaviour. I don't have to forgive them, nor should I.

Never could seem to win in my teenage years. If I tried to blend in, I stood out. Or if I tried to act casual and a little tomboyish, then people expected me to behave in a certain way and would make fun of me. E.g. "You're crying? I thought you were tougher than that". "Oh please, you don't count as a girl", and the most baffling example "If a guy was attracted to you, then would that make him a little bit gay? Since you act more like a gay guy than a girl" (What? ) Funnily enough I did end up dating a gay guy out of peer pressure. Oddly fitting.

Alternatively, behaving more femininely or styling my hair got me labelled as attention seeking. Yet, if I didn't style my hair I was apparently making a statement. People would ask why I didn't wear make-up and do my hair. Then, whenever I did I was inundated with insults. I was insulted either way. One time I straightened my hair. That was all. A bunch of guys called me a whole host of bad names that I shouldn't repeat.

I wanted to blend into the scenery. To go unnoticed by everyone. I wanted to just stick to my friendship group, be an average student and do well enough to get by. Yet I always seemed to gain some kind of reputation. I wasn't popular, but somehow I was well known. Never really fit in anywhere fully, I ended up drifting between different groups.

Of course, standing up to my physics teacher, helping the class clown insult the English teacher by extending his vocabulary whilst also being the quiet kid, who somehow had connections with the popular kids, meant that people found me to be an interesting character. Never fully knowing what to expect or what to make of me. Being quiet led to others assuming that I was passive. They were shocked to find that this was not the case. Sometimes the same people who picked on me one week would try to act friendly with me the next, because they wanted inside information on people I knew. High school was a strange time. Someone would throw paint in my face one moment (which proved annoyingly difficult to wash off), and invite me to go swimming with them not long after.

I'm certainly glad that chapter of my life is over.

Me too!

No, I don't think bulling to the extent that seems accepted in Anglophone countries is natural or inevitable. I'm certain it's a disease of a culture.
Conflicts are a part of being human and learning ways to deal with them is necessary for any adult-to-be. But bullying is not the same as conflicts.

I believe it is, though I wish it wasn’t, normal adolescent behavior.

You find this sort of thing in all cultures...but certainly not to the extent found in the Internet Age in “Western” countries.

A lot of behaviors of different animals we would find morally wrong in humans.
Why not bullying?

I find bullying morally wrong.

Absolutely.

But it is prevalent, and inevitable if not stopped.