Depression in Mothers of AS kids.

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Thanks JsMom

Hugs gratefully received - even if it did start me blubbing!! Can't seem to deal with kindness OR nastiness at the moment.

You're right though - it will pass

Thanks again
x

I have a little story about my only NT son. He is 14 and his AS brothers are 16 and 13.

Yesterday was Soccerdude's first day of high school. He is in Gr.9. We had all the nerves in the morning and I dropped him off at school for the Leadership retreat that he was attending. It was optional but he is Mr. Social so he wanted to attend.
I went to pick him up at 4:00, as we had agreed in the spot we agreed on. I waited, and waited. I finally mustered up the nerve to go into the school (I'm a bit AS, also) and he was nowhere to be found. After a half hour, the assistant principal paged him. I checked most of the school. It's huge but he was nowhere. After an hour the principal paged him. Still nothing. Finally the principals daughter ran around the perimeter of the school and there was my son, hanging out with 3 girls. I was livid. It was even worse when the principal informed me that my son had spent the afternoon holding hands with some girl. IT WAS THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!!
I lectured him for 20 minutes. He didn't seem to get why I was mad. He is apologizing to the principal today for the kafuffle he caused. At least he got that he made himself look pretty irresponsible.

So, raging hormones happen in any type of teen. It is inevitable. I am thankful that my other sons prefer to hang out at home or with friends that play board games. I will take the AS with a smile at the moment.

I have at least one moment everyday when I just want to hop in the van and keep going. I also have an ADHD 6 year old so I don't have that option. I will be thinking about you next time I get the feeling.

Remember, you aren't alone in this. We have all been there and share your sorrow.

There was an article in the journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics last year about this topic:


Psychological Functioning and Coping Among Mothers of Children With Autism: A Population-Based Study
Guillermo Montes, PhDa and Jill S. Halterman, MD, MPHb

a Children's Institute, Rochester, New York
b Department of Pediatrics, University of Rochester, School of Medicine and Dentistry, Rochester, New York

OBJECTIVES. Studies suggest that having a child with autism has a negative impact on maternal psychological functioning, but no large-scale, population-based studies are available. The objectives of this study were to (1) describe the psychological functioning, physical and mental health, family communication, and parenting support of mothers of a child with autism compared with other mothers on a population basis and (2) assess the independent relationship between having a child with autism and these outcomes, controlling for the child's social skills and demographic background.

METHODS. Mothers of 61772 children who were 4 to 17 years of age were surveyed by the National Survey of Children's Health, 2003. Autism was measured from an affirmative maternal response to the question, "Has a doctor or health professional ever told you your child has autism?" There were 364 children with autism in the sample.

RESULTS. Mothers of a child with autism were highly stressed and more likely to report poor or fair mental health than mothers in the general population, even after adjustment for the child's social skills and demographic background. However, mothers of a child with autism were more likely to report a close relationship and better coping with parenting tasks and less likely to report being angry with their child after adjustment for the child's social skills and demographic background. Having a child with autism was not associated with lower social support for parenting, an altered manner in which serious disagreements were discussed in the household, or increased violence in the household.

CONCLUSION. Mothers of children with autism showed remarkable strengths in the parent–child relationship, social support, and stability of the household in the context of high stress and poorer mental health.

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Accepted Nov 16, 2006.

I suggest checking your thyroid level too. Low thyroid (hypothyroidism) can cause depression. If you've had sudden weight gain and lack of ability to focus and concentrate at the same time, that's often the sign of a thyroid problem. Just a simple blood test will will give you your TSH and T4 levels which are a good start.