Do 12 year old girls NEED cell phones?

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I think I was the one that brought up safety. I wasn't trying to hijack the thread. Yes, a 12yo needs a cellphone, because of safety issues. Ideally, the 12yo would never need to use the cellphone, for which I would offer up a prayer of thanks.

Claradoon, I think that safety is a valid issue in line with the original question and like KimJ I am questioning if a 12 yr old child should be left in situations where he/she would need a cell phone. Call me old-fashioned (I am nearing my sixth decade) but I do not think they are ready for that much independence. They do not have the experience or maturity necessary. I expect that to stir up a hornets' nest. Speaking of which, I have worked with Scouts for over 12 years (the number is a coincidence, I assure you). The boys had set their lantern on a table near a tree which had a hornet nest while they finalized plans for the next day's activities. One of the boys, and yep he was 12, was stung by the disturbed insects. He, naturally started howling but did not move from the area, the other boys in the group also just stood there waving at the angry hornets. I walked over, put an arm around the boy being stung and killed three hornets that were clinging to him and sent him to the Leaders' Area to be tended to. I picked up the lantern, told the other boys to get their gear and moved the group to a place where they wouldn't bother the hornets and the hornets wouldn't bother them. None of the boys, aged 13-17 showed the maturity to move away from the contested real estate. Scouts are aged 11-18 and it is required that there be at least two adults present for any Scouting activity. There is a reason for this and it is the same reason I feel a twelve year old is not ready to be left in a situation where they should need a cell phone.

Yes we are becoming more and more dependent upon technology to protect us. Unfortunately some parents use that technology to relieve them of the responsibility they have to take care of their children. TV's as baby sitters, cell phones as body guards? Come on people, wake up! Nature shows that species that do not care for their young produce huge numbers of offspring so that a low percentage of survivors can contines the species. Humans take 20 years or more to become fully functioning adults. We owe it to our children to nurture and protect them and not to depend on unthinking machines to do it for us.

Probably said more than I should have but I am Dad to two throw away kids, fortunately Cor and I caught them, and I will protect them!

"... questioning if a 12 yr old child should be left in situations where he/she would need a cell phone"

Like walking home from the corner store? Outside the library? At a bus stop?
I'm thinking of a child who is already in a world where she might need to (or just be better off) calling Mom or 911. I think you're saying that the child's comings & goings would change if she had a cellphone. We're discussing at cross-purposes.

Clara
bet I'm closer to 6th decade than you

wow...nice to hear what people think...at the age of 10 1/2 my husband's daughter convinced HER mother she needed a cell phone, and when my husband said "under no circumstances" (geez, I was 37, with a full time job, etc... and didn't have one either)...the mother stated HE was being unreasonable because "ALL 10 year old girls nowadays have cell phones!! !"...hehehe...

Glad to know at least the AS/Auties don't think so...hehe...maybe it's an NT thing?

From personal observations in Virginia, Florida, and Indiana this is precisely what I'm talking about. I've often seen young children, and I include 12 in that category, wandering about unsupervised in places I would consider it unsafe for them to be alone. As a former police oficer I have also seen what can be the unfortunate results. Some of these results are from the kid's actions, both accidents and crimes (there is no other word to use), other results are caused by just the sort of predator we warn our kids about. I've seen many of these kids with cell phones, unfortunately including one whose location will always be known to his parents. No 911 call was logged on his phone. It turned out he went voluntarily with his slayer, he was decieved because of his lack of experience and immaturity. His mother said "I thought he would be OK, he had his phone." Draw your own conclusions here, I have obviously already drawn mine.

Now let's talk a little about Aspie vs NT maturity. Again I must draw on personal experience. My son, Z, is a great kid. He soaks up information like a sponge and wants to learn about almost anything. His maturity level is about 2-3 years behind his chronological age, I cannot trust him to walk home alone from the bus stop and he is not ready to go to the corner store by himself. My daughter, S, is two months younger than Z but demonstrates greater maturity in some areas than he does. She can and has come home from the bus alone, but she is not ready to go to the store or be left at the library alone. She is NT with mild ADD but also managed to pull straight A's last year.

All people mature at different rates. Trusting that someone is safe because they have a cell phone is dangerous if that person does not also posess the maturity and knowledge to use it properly. I know adults that have no business with a cell phone and I have entrusted my life to a teenager who was very mature for his age.

I think what I'm saying is if a person isn't aware of HOW to be safe a device, such as a cell phone isn't going to make them any safer.

Clara, I've got two more years until I hit 6X10, are you closer. If yes please understand that I Do respect my Elders.

My stepdaughter and stepson live with their mother and have brand new cell phones every couple of months and ring up a $ 500.00 text messaging bill per month. Nice huh? Then I have my AS daughter who really truly needs it but we can't afford it because we're paying out the arse for his ex.

I would say that if you teach your child to properly use the cell phone (for letting you know where she is or emergencies) then, yes. If she is using it to chit chat then, no. I am worried about letting my daughter roam around in the neighborhood with (and i use this loosely) "friends" because she is so naive and she will believe anything, talk to anyone or do what the others ask her to do. You know? She wants to make and KEEP friends sooooo badly she sometimes breaks our rules.

I don't know what your circumstances are but maybe you can take that into consideration.

Exactly what I've been trying to say Susz, but you've done it much more conciselt, thank you.

Oh! In that case, I agree.

Clara
(I'm a year behind you, Corsarzs)

Why a 12 year old would have need for a cell phone is beyond me.

What would they use it for?...Oh yeah, talking to their friends and texting and making the parents pay the price of the children keeping their social life in good condition.

And why would a child be left alone in a potentially dangerous area in the first place? Parent's are supposed to protect their children from harm.This could include not leaving your child alone in places. If parents were with their children more than relying on technology (as Corsarzs said) as they are nowadays many problems that cell phones are supposed to take care of (calling one's parents in case of trouble) would probably be negated

While they could be used in emergencies only, and I wouldn't mind if they were used for that, a teenager/someone that's not yet but almost a teenager will be wanting to talk to their friends any time they get regardless of whether they are supposed to or not...well at least the majority of the demographic I described would.

Though I'm only a 14 year old so don't pay much attention to my two cents on this hijacked topic. And in going back to the original topic: No, I do not think a 12 year old should have a cell phone.

(And I'll probably start an argument with this post but oh well...the above text is just my opinion.)

I don't think so much it's the age of the kid so much as what their need is that should determine whether they get a cell phone and what type. My oldest got one when he started doing after school activities which required calling home for a ride as well as taking out of town/out of state trips with school or youth group. I bought the pay as you go phone and provide those minutes. Should he desire to use the phone for chatting or text messaging, our arrangement it that he will pay for those. He's been respectful of the arrangement.

I also came very close to giving one to my kiddo when he was struggling with anxiety but really, really wanted to walk home from school. His safety wasn't the issue here--it was more to give him the security that he could connect to home if needed.

Good points Pippen. I use the pay as you go phones too, keeps me mindful of how much time I"m wasting.

Good heavens, if I thought I could get my Aspie child to talk to friends for 1000 minutes, heck, even for 10 minutes, the cell phone would be well worth the price!

How do you get your Aspie child to interact so much? I'm sure many parents in this forum would kill to know!

Thanks,

Jackie

Cellphones suck. Mass-market cellphones were the worst invention ever.

I'll never have a cellphone in a million years.

Does a 12 year old need a cell phone? The answer is no.

Here's what a 12 year old girl will do with a cell phone. This is a true account of what my friend has been going through with her step-daughter. These are good people who live in a good neighborhood. The 12 year old girl is like any other girl her age. If anything, she gives the appearance that she is more immature because she is smaller and less developed than the other girls her age.

1. Talk and text with a boy until early in the morning. The things this girl said to the boy were so shocking and unbelieveable. I never in my wildest dreams would have imagined a 12 year old girl would even know about the lude things that were found in her text messages.

2. Send suggestive pictures to the boy via her camera phone.

3. Impromptu trip to the mall without her parents knowing. Yes, she was with the same boy. He convinced her that it would be okay since her parents were at work.

The girl lives with her mother primarily, and apparently there isn't a lot of supervision at her mother's house. My friend and her husband were the ones to find out what had been going on with his daughter. Luckily, they found out before anything serious happened. The lack of supervision is a huge issue. The cell phone only added fuel to the fire.

I do not think a 12 year old needs their own cell phone or their own phone in general.

My sister however did get her own landline at that age, complete with unlisted phone number, paid for by our parents. My mother said it was because girls need their own phone lines because they use the phone more. She could also avoid harassing calls by not having her number listed and if anyone called for her on the family phone, which had a listed number, they'd know it might not be someone she wanted to talk to. I wonder about my mother's logic though as she would complain about harassing calls directed at me or the family in general and sometimes would say "I wish I could have an unlisted number so I don't have to deal with this ****," yet would pay to unlist the number for my sister, and not pay for one for the rest of the family.

None of our 3 older brothers, one of whom still lived with us at the time, had their own phones until they had their residences. The only other time I saw parents get a separate phone for their kids was a guy I went to 8th grade with. His parents had a separate line for the kids, but it wasn't just for one of them, it was for him, his 2 brothers, and his sister, and it was listed in the phone book as "Children's Telephone."

I'd sometimes hear my sister on the phone late at night if I walked past her room and the door was closed. When I was that age(maybe around 9 or 10), I didn't think anything of it. Not sure what I think now. 12 year old girls should also not be allowed on the phone until 3AM. If she has a phone in her room and she keeps that up, it should be taken out of her room and put in an area of the house where there is some privacy, but not enough to be on the phone all night without being easily caught.