Help me get chores and homework on my aspies agenda!

Post Reply New Topic

i just thought of something. I don't know my brother enough to be able to say if he's an aspie or not, but I do suspect he is.

When he was in elementary school he often refused to do any work - his kindergarten report said he could only count to 16, his first grade teacher wanted him in special ed because he couldn't do simple math.

In preschool he was doing three digit addition and subtraction in his head.

In kindergarten my brother was helping me with my 9th grade algebra homework - Once after spending three hours on a problem and not even coming close to getting the correct answer, I thought "i'll feel better when Sam can't do it." so I showed him the problem and asked him what the answer was - he had the correct answer in seconds and was able to explain how to get it to me better than the teacher. After that he became my tutor.

However even when he did his math and got it correct he'd usually get his answers marked all wrong because he didn't show work. He actaully became completely confused as to how to show work because the way math is taught isnt' the way he gets the correct answer. he was in 4th grade before a teacher let him answer the problems and not show work, even then he had to verbally take a math test for the teacher first.

if you look at his elementary grades you'll see a lot of comments about how he can't do the work, doesn't do the work, belongs in special ed. If you look at his standardized test scores, you'll see he often gets 100% in math and science - though if he was given a little kid reading section, his reading score will indicate that he is completely unable to read. Actually i've sometimes wondered if he intentionally tried to get all of the answers wrong to keep himself entertained during the test.

There's no doubt he's a genius. The school offered to have him skip 9th grade. he was just not doing his elementary work because it was elementary. How would you like if you were told you had to sit for 7 hours and do 1+1 math and read stories like "jane has a dog. paul has a dog. Jane and Paul have a dog." and then go home and do it for an hour again? Would you start refusing to do the work?

See if you can get him motivated with work thats more challenging than a 5th grade level

Unless needing another way is due to a physical disability (verbal exams for the blind, for example), I have found that there's few surer ways to be viewed as a narcissistic pain in the ass and be treated accordingly than to constantly demand "special" consideration that you clearly don't need. No one, not even professors, like people who constantly try and make themselves the exception to the rules. The occasional professor might say they like people who do this (particularly if the professor concerned is a liberal), but the second someone's pointless disdain for the rules starts making more work for them personally, they can't stand it and tend to react with hostility, disdain, or by purposely making life difficult for the person.



And again, whenever there's one person who is constantly whining about established policy, refusling to follow the rules, and demanding to do things differently... the squeaky wheel doesn't get oiled. It gets replaced.



And if certain tenants won't follow the rules because they think that the rules should apply to everyone but themselves, what happens? Whether it's constant loud, drunken parties, subletting, or anything else of this nature, what happens? Eviction.



You're entitled to protest in certain ways. You're entitled to withhold your support from candidates that you disagree with. (The law gives you both of those rights.) However, you are still obligated to follow the law, as long as it is the law, or face criminal charges if/when you're caught, whether you agree with the law or not.

There's a place which is chock full of people who think that they have no obligation to live up to the same social contracts as everyone else does, and who instead believe they ought to be allowed to do whatever they please, whenever they please, no matter how their actions might effect everyone around them.

A utopia? No. It's called prison.



Obviously, one should give the child the underlying logic behind the rules, not just because it aids children in following the rules, but it makes them feel more secure and more able to make sense of their world. Other than that... yes. Would you let a child play in traffic because he cannot appreciate the danger, no matter how many times you patiently explain it to him? There comes a point where you have to realize that you're the parent, he's the child, and that it's a crucial part of a parent's job to enforce appropriate behavior, not to enable inappropriate behavior.



Unless he's blind, or deaf, or something of this nature, what the hell would he need? One-on-one instruction in perpetuity, because even as a late teen or twentysomething he has not developed enough control over his own mental processes to tune out minor distractions when needed? So every time a phone rings, or a machine buzzes, or a car backfires outside, or someone is having a conversation on the other side of the room, or a computer beeps, or someone is within five or six feet of him, he's either going to shut down completely or go hysterical? Oh yeah, now there's a guy that every corporation in the country is just going to be falling all over themselves to hire... lol.

Instead, he would gain the invaluable knowledge that sometimes in life you just don't get what you want, and you have to adapt and make the best of things. He would also grow to understand that success in the adult world demands far more more milk than moo, more work than whine, if he wants any chance of succeeding in life.



He'd fare worse in work because no employers like a "walking spanner in the works" who is constantly trying to dismantle their pet projects in order to institute his own.



He'd fare far better with landlords, as he would understand what was expected of him, and do it. No landlord likes tenants who simply ignore the rules whenever they feel like it, and I've never met even one landlord who will tolerate these sort of tenants for long.

He'd fare far better in society, as he would be willing to go through the proper channels to try and get laws he didn't agree with changed rather than just pretending that the laws don't exist, and thus being far more prone to criminal behavior.

He'd fare far better with people in general, because he would understand what is expected of him and strive to do it, thus dramatically increasing his chances of success in life in literally every possible area (friends, romantic, career, etc). He would undestand that heedlessly charging around in the social world like a bull in a china shop only leads to social ostracism and personal failure. Because of this understanding, when he is tempted to "bull around" rather than doing what he's supposed to, he would strive to do better, instead of sitting around whining and blaming everyone but himself for his problems, as most people on these boards are wont to do.

And then some of you wonder why these kids somehow manage to live 20, 30, 40 or even more years on the face of this earth without picking up even the faintest glimmer of social skills, or even the faintest idea of what a social contract is. With this perpetual enable-enable-enable! fest going on, it's no wonder that even the family cat often ends up being more successful in life even if measured by human standards, such as...

1) Having friends (other cats down the street),

2) Displaying the ability to adequately defend herself and her belongings if the need arises (successfully scaring off or fighting off other cats who are unwelcome intruders on her territory),

3) Gaining a romantic partner (if such a partner is desired),

4) Displaying enough self-sufficiency to survive on her own if necessary (able to hunt well enough to feed herself, find a warm place to sleep, maintain good hygeine with no prompting, etc.)

Sad.

That's like teaching a woman rape avoidance skills by throwing her naked into the yard at San Quentin.

Public schools are designed to crush the gifted. I mean that literally. It was designed to numb the mind and destroy independent thought.

The makers of modern schooling by John Taylor Gatto.

There's nothing about asking to complete an assignment in an alternative way that shows any pointless disdain for the rules, or even in most cases that makes more work for the professors.

In most cases they are glad you are trying to better promote your educational oppurtunity in line with your own interests. They know you are asking can I do this instead, because thats inline with what job you want to have, and doing it will help you obtain that job. I've had many professors that changed assignments because students were approaching them with difficulties or how they'd rather do it. I had a friend who asked the teacher if he could do a clay animation video instead of a painting for his art project. Once he did, he had to explain to the teacher how he created it - the next year a clay animation video was a requirement for the class.


If you approach them with hostility and disdain then yes thats' what you'll get in turn. But you'll notice I didn't say anything about approaching professors with disdain and hostility. I said to ask them to complete an assignment in an alternative way. That's something quite different unless you personally choose to add disdain and hostility to it - I don't. Perhaps thats why i've only ever
been met with welcome and receptance whereas you've been met with a negative attitude? I've been taking college courses since 1996, have asked to work on alternative assignments, and I've yet to encounter one hostile, negative professor or even one who intends to make my life difficult.


Or perhaps we just have different views of what making life difficult for students it. I don't consider it to be making my life difficult when professors are so impressed by initiative they nominate me for Who's Who, write recommendations for me for scholarships I didn't know existed until they gave me the recommendation letter, tell other professors/faculty about how impressed they are of me - I've had faculty i'd never even heard of tell me how impressed they were about my undergrad research papers and other campus projects, tell me without my asking that I can use them as a job reference, let me off from the final because my alternative assignment was so spectacular compared to what was asked to do, or volunteer to be an honors professor to me- which at the very least would require them grading an additional research paper, usually one about ten pages in length. I don't consider that difficult or hostile at all. i consider that kind and welcoming.



.


Again you are adding negativity and hatred where there is no need for any. At my success networking training last night we had to view a guest speaker who talked about when he had to go on an exit interview for the job he was quiting. he figured that since he was quitting he wasn't going to hold anything back. After all what could they do? fire him? They asked what they could have done to make him want to stay there. he ranted on, "Nothing!! You couldn't have possibly made me like this job at all. I hate it, I hate the people i work with, I hate everything about it..." THey asked

Do you think it was like this when you started? Yes
Do you think it was like this before you came? Yes
Do you think it will be like this after you leave? Yes
Well i'm sorry we wasted your time, James. But you wasted ours too. You were here for three years, and knew this job was like this, and yet you didn't do anything at all to change it.






Again your adding all this negativity. Why? Your life must be completely miserable if you really think in such negative ways about every possible aspect for improving what is around you.

Further, why in the word would you jump from someone having discussions with their son about the rules to work out mutually compatible rules, to someone refusing to follow any rules at all, and using that jump for the basis as to why the conversations shouldn't be had?

When I lived in an apartment building, I did change some of the rules. I did it for my own safey. First I spoke to the assistant manager who just felt it was a police issue, and the manager wasn't sure headquarters would allow her to intervene. Headquarters didn't want to get involved either, and for my safety reasons I didn't want the police involved at this point. So I sent a letter to BBB. Funny how quickly the rule was changed once they got a letter from the BBB.

Of course that's an extreme example. WIth most apartments there is a tenants association with monthly meetings where people discuss the rules of the buildings, what they would like changed, and then vote on those changes. Hey! thats exactly what the poster we brnached off is doing with her son. Is it really so bad that she is setting him up for the real world, by creating experiences that are like the real world, instead of the "its the rules. do it. no conversation, no exception" method that will leave him incapable of effectively interacting in the adult world, where he will be expected to speak up and make changes for the better?





I don't know of any free country where you aren't allowed to discuss the laws you want to be changed, and why, and then enact the process that will result in those laws. ITs the exact same concept as the conversations she's having with her son, so it would be a little ludicrous to suggest that he'll go out and violate laws, because he was taught effective communication skills.

Actually if you do the research, the college students most likely to go crazy with breaking laws/rules are the ones who've had the strictest, rule enforcing parents - those students don't know how to handly making decisions for their own, or evaluation the situation at hand.




You know all that about prison, and yet you don't know that prisons have programs set up to teach effective communication skills in order to keep prisoners from returning there? Look into the programs to help prisoners transfer into work releases, parole, etc. They are taught the same type of conversing that the poster is doing with her son, because effective communciation can distill anger, get ones point across, let one feel valued as a person, diffuse tense situations, etc...



Read what you were responding to initially. If their ideas clash they have a conversation to suggest alternatives to each other. Its not, "If our ideas clash, my son does whatever the h* he wants and I go on my merry way. Its we have a discussion that enables to come up with the best possible solution that appeases everyone to some extent. I challeng you to find a book on parenting happy, healthy, successful children that doesn't stress the importance of discussion



You haven't been to college yet, have you?




umm. Wow. Way to majorly jump beyond what was said in order to counterattack. Really can't you jsut counter what is said instead of greatly distorting everything humongously? Whilst these things might upset an autie, I was referring solely to the typical college students needs. Again, i challenge you to find a college student who has completed a degree but yet never felt the need for one exception. Note, that's not never asked for one. That's never felt the need for one. You'd be lucky to find a college junior in that board.




lol, your whole post is about how he should take what is given, instead of making the best of things, and then you end by saying he should be making the best of things. Why do you think people ask professors for exceptions and alternative assignments - they do it to make the best of things, and to adapt their school experience to their work desires.


Why do you think employers want employes to speak up about what is wrong with the workings of the company? - its to adapt company policy and procedures to result in having the happies, most effective and proficient workers.

Why do you think apartment buildings have tenant associations? - its to adapt the rules of the building to make it the most desirable place to live for tenants

Why do you think democracy's allow laws to be changed? - its to adapt the laws to make the country most desirable place to live for residents.

Just think how much worse someone's life would be if they always just went with the rules, the way things were, never speaking up, never asking for exceptions, never attempting to change anything. Now take that same person and instill proper communications skills with them, and you'll have a person whose great to be around, who makes, or at least trys to make, changes in the rules for the better of everyone. The second person will be happy. he might not always succeed but at least he'll try. The first person will do nothing but be miserable. he won't try to change things, no matter what insights he has that could make things better. He'd just take it like he is. the person who doesn't attempt to make any changes is wasting the time of everyone around him, just like the guest speaker was.



A big part of success in the adult world is being able to adapt, change, and roll with the punches. If you are going to be adhering rigidly to the rules not only will you not be able to do that, but you'll be missing quite a bit of ideas that would make it easier for you.

When I worked in the factory the manual said to wrap two rows of cones, slide them through the metal detector, put them in the box, wrap two rows of cone slide them through the metal detector, put them in the box, wrap two rows of cones, seal the box, put the wrapped two rows of cones through the metal detector, place new box on table, wrap two rows of cones....

Each step in the manual required me to take at least two steps in real life. Following the manual was the rule. So what I did was wrap 4 rows of cones, slide the four through the metal detector, put the four in the box, then use my added time to seal the box and and put the new box up. That cut my time to down quite a bit ( rows of cones had to be wrapped every 26 seconds, and 6 rows every 52 seconds, so saving time was valuable). However, i also had a trainer the one day who insisted on following the order in the manual. Following the manual meant it took more time to do the same amount of work. Following the manual also meant taking an additional 6 steps every minute. That's an additional 2,700 steps per shift, all on a cement floor. So who do you think was the happier employee at the end of each shift, the trainer who followed the book verbatim, or me who adapted the work order in a way that enabled me to do my work more efficiently?




Again you jump the high horse to go above and beyond what you are responding to. Anyway see my comment above about the guest speaker's exit interview








Again, I ask where do you find someone just completely ignoring their rules and making their own, in having a discussion about the rules and suggestions for alternatives that will leave each party happy.

Rules are rarely black and white. They change, and that's a good thing. if everyone adhered to this is the rule/law so I'll follow it and not discuss why I think its wrong, then slavery would still be legal in this country. It would be illegal for women to vote. Because after all everyone would know that women are expected to stay uninvolved in politics. etc.



And how pray tell would he do that if he's been taught to follow rules blindly, instead of discussing them to make appropriate changes? A child taught to blindly follow rules will be completely clueless to the fact that rules can be changed - those are the kind of children who become college students that would rather fail an assignment than ask a professor for an alternative.

Furthermore, how do you translate someone having a discussion with their child to suggest the best possible way to achieve mutual compromise into someone teaching their child to just pretend rules don't exist. If the rules didn't exist they certainly wouldn't be sitting there discussing them and what they should be now would they?




He'd fare worse with people in general because he'd only ever do what he felt was expected of him. he wouldn't speak up when he was being used because he would have been taught to just follow the rules, as opposed to discussing best possible solutions.

Also, one of the things that will be expected of him by society in general is to change things for the better. he won't know thats possible and so he'll just blindly do what he's told to, instead of instituting changes. You can be 100% sure that the employee who refuses to suggest any improvements for his company will be one of the last considered for promotions, wheras the employee whose constantly throwing out ideas for improvement will be one of the first considered.




Not by a long stretch. He'd be severly limited in his chance of success because he would just be taking what is given to him, instead of making improvements.

An example would be the President of my university. When he came to campus everyone said he was crazy. Actually they still do.
And his visions are kind of out there, but he doesn't limit himself in those visions. As a result of him almost every building on campus is less than ten years old - the campus is 150 years old. We're getting a high speed train, for free, to take students from the dorms to campus because of what he went out and did. Most people would have looked at the situation and said, "The dorms are a five minute drive from campus, buses travel between the dorms and campus every 15 minutes. Our students have no trouble at all getting from the dorms to campus in a timely fashion. " and "only about 1,000 students are in a situation where they can make use of the buses between campus and the dorms. Most of that 1,000 drive their own cars to campus, so the situation is ideal He looked at the situation and said, "right now our students travel by buses. What other options are there?" And when he heard that a company was looking to test out the high speed trains used to travel between countries in Europe in our climate, he actively promoted our situation with most of the dorms being located off campus as an ideal way to test it out. Sure everyone thought he was crazy at first, but we're getting the train so is he really that crazy?





If you look at the research done in this area, he'd be far more likely to chare around like a bull in a china shop because he wouldn't have the experience with making decisions on his own. Or if he was more aspie-ish, he'd never reach his full potential because he'd be limiting himself by currently existing rules instead of attempting to make changes for the better.




There's nothing abot discussing rules/laws and how they should be changed that means you aren't doing what your supposed. Look at my factory example. i didn't follow the rules for packing did i? But i can guarantee I felt physically better at the end of the shift than those who did. you can't possibly be striving to do better if you are simply blindly following the rules, because striving to do better entails striving to make the best of your situation, not just for you, but for those around you. And doing that requires you to make suggestions for improvement when you see areas that can be improved on even if there are currently rules in place that say "you can't do that"




Ummm. So now because he's going to be making suggestions for improvement in all aspects of his life he's going to be sitting around whining and blaming everyone? That doesn't make sense. The people who sit around whining and blaming are the people who think they have to accept rules as they are, because they were never taught that rules can be changed/ They whine because they don't realize that they can change things for the better.

look at your typical college student. The ones you find complaining about the professor out in the hall are the same ones you'll find saying "what's the point" when you tell them they should talk to the professor about not being able to do the work as it is assigned. The ones you'll see the professor waving at as they walk by are the ones who go up and say, "I can't hand this assignment in on time, Dr. Smith. I had the flu last week, and my grandmother just died. Could I hand it in next week. Maybe I could elaborate indepthy on axiomatizable theories to make up for the fact that I need extra time. i'm really interested that and it would show you that I really am serious about the work" Of courses thats laying it on quite thick for the sake of the example. I'd just say, "I've gotten behind. WOuld it be possible for me to have an extra couple of days. I understand if you have to take some points off."




Considering there are people that promote blindly following the rules instead of instilling the good social skills that come with discussing and deciding what rules will work best for all people involved, its no surprise at all that people live into their 20s, 30s, 40s etc without picking up even the faintest glimmer of social skills,





Again, Its not surprise at all. That's what happens when people are taught to blindly follow the rules instead of discussing them and offering suggestions for the best. In fact, you'll find that teachers are taught that students should create the rules on the first day of school, as opposed to the teacher handing out a list and saying, "these are the rules. you must follow them"




I feel quite sorry and saddened for you if you honestly believe that making changes to your environment for the better of all participants is a self enable-enable-enable! feast going on. I hope you were just promoting such a belief because you had a desire to argue to get out of some tension, not because you honestly believe that improving ones situation is a negative act. Believing that will limit you in countless ways, and prevent you from ever reaching your full potential and full happiness.



That's something that could be done by someone with proper communication skills



That's the kind of ability you get from experience with conversations like the one the poster was having with his son. You won't get that ability from blindly following rules. And if you think that you will, look at the people who followed the rules in Milgrams shock experiment.



Who would want a romantic partner who refuses to do anything better for the relationship just because its unexpected? Who would want a romantic partner who is unable to sit down and say, "Honey I know it bothers you when I do this but I have to do it to relax. How can i change it so that I can still do it, while not bothering you as much." Not many people would want a partner who thinks he/she must just accept everything as it is and not change.

i know one of the things I've been encountering of late is that the woman should be the one doing all the cooking, especially if she brings in less money than the man. Wth my bf's degree he can expect to make at least 3x what i can. But you know what, he's the one that cooks. Why? because we've discussed and he loves cooking, and I hate it. I could have said, "its the womans job to cook. I've female body parts so I'll just suck it up and cook" and he could have said "I'm a man, I shouldn't love cooking dinner" but we didn't. We looked at our situaion and discussed what would make us both happy. he cooks, I wash the dishes and take out the trash. There are other stereotypes that people enforce more strictly on us than cooking, that we choose not to do because that's who we are. but I used this one as it could apply to every relationship





Anyone who has learned how to adapt their environment to their needs can do that. Soup kitchens are for the homeless, so Joe and Tyler who both have an apartment but no food in the house, no electricity, no running water, no heat, and no money doesn't qualify for the rules. So Joe who was taught he must always follow the rules, not ask for exceptions, would sit in his house and starve to death. Tyler, who grew up learning how to discuss rules that would enable the best possible result for all parties knows that he can ask for exceptions when he needs them. Tyler would go to the soup kitchen, explain his situation that's not homeless but hasn't eaten in two days because he can't afford food, and ask if they'd feed him. Tyler would survive. And since he knows how to make the best of things for everyone, he'd also speak to the soup kitchen director about others in his situation and suggest possible programs to help those people.

I'd much rather children grow up to be Tyler. From your posts, it appears you much prefer people to grow up to be Joe, strictly rule abiding, refusing to better there situation even though bettering it is 100% within their realm of their possibility



yes it is incredibly sad that people teach their children to live miserable lives, blindly follow the established set of rules, and waste the time of all those around them, instead of teaching them that rules can be changed and instill upon them the conversational skills andknowledge that will enable them to improve upon their person lives, and those around them.

kurtz~ i find your comments quite offensive and inflammatory..........i am sorry that you must have had quite a difficult time in public school~ again, not everyone has the means to pull their child out of school to homeschool. and not every public school is evil.

I find the very idea of public schools offensive and inflammatory.

Their sole stated purpose is to destroy independent thought, so that the average citizen will be a compliant worker or a good soldier. This is not opinion, this is very well documented historical fact. The only two institutions that control every movement through bells are schools and prisons. The stated purpose of using bells is to discourage thinking about a subject on your own time.

Again, read the site I linked to. There's another great article here detailing the history and purpose of state run schools.

I don't appreciate that little passive-aggressive dig about my bad time in school, as if that's the only reason I could be against a coercive system that destroys the minds of children, on purpose, funded by money I work for. Plenty of people on this site are coming forward with their horrible experiences in school, many way more horrific than mine. In a lot of ways, I got off easy.

If you actually give a rat's ass about your kid you'll find a way to end the daily suffering. Maybe you don't need the leased Mazda Tribute, your cookie cutter house with a two-foot wide moat of grass, all that crap. There's this attitude that these kids are being little as*holes by not fulfilling the needs of the parents. "How can I force my kid to do stuff? How can I escape the stigma of having a messed up kid? How do I make the teachers think I'm a good parent?"

The kids didn't ask to be born. They owe the parents NOTHING.

If I had a kid and I found out that there were adults messing with his head, forcing him to do things, allowing other kids to hurt him, well, you'd hear about it in the news. Why should that be different if we call that place "school"?

Parents DO have the means, as they always have. In fact, I know several children who were homeschooled and came from poor families. What they did was start up a "school" at one family's house whose mother could afford to stay home and 7-8 kids showed up every day. Solutions are easy if you care.

One of the big reasons that one could not afford homeschooling is because of the massive tax burden placed on families to pay for this horrible sprawling bureaucracy, about %40 last time I checked, plus the hidden tax of inflation, which is currently going through the roof, but I digress.

All public schools are evil. Their purpose is to create willing slaves. Even if you are treated well, you are still compelled to go. There is no choice. There is such a thing as a truant officer. Even homeschooled kids are subject to government agents making sure that they are leaning the "curriculum".

Controlling children through threats of violence is despicable. Public schools are, at their very core and essence, an act of violence against children.

kurtz~ not everyone has to agree with you...........and as far as my comment about feeling sorry that you had a bad time in school~ well, i truly felt that you must have had a difficult time to be so incredibly vocal against public education. i did not mean it as a dig towards you.
as both my husband and i work, homeschooling is not an option for us.....it is not an option for much of America......does public education need an overhaul ? yes.....is boycotting it the answer ? IMO, no......actively working with your school system to advocate for the needs of your child and other children is the answer. sometimes this means getting a lawyer to "help" the school to do what they should be doing........not easy, not pretty............
you also seem to gloss over any public school systems who are doing a wonderful job of educating......life isn't black and white

Then why is the fastest growing movement in public schools today to teach through constructivism? Constructivism is the concept that students learn best when they construct their own knowledge, not when they are told the knowledge

Is that like the old "discovery" method? I really think some things such as spelling and tables are better off taught by rote but there is plenty of room for research and discovery once the basics are learned.

I agree in part with what Kurz has said - I was held back at school and not encouraged very much to do more difficult work that I was capable of doing. No, everybody was supposed to be "the same" and so it was incredibly boring at times. Gifted kids should NOT be held back or feel that they can't show how good they are at the work because the other kids mightn't like it.

many districts now have gifted enrichment classes....my duaghter attends this once a week

I do owe you an explanation in regards to the newer teaching methods; I realize now that you're a teacher and that calling you an evil person is not the likeliest way to reach a synthesis.

If you look at those methods what you will see is mere lip service; Ministry of Love, Ministry of Truth, Ministry of Education. The emphasis is on group work, the aspie's silver bullet. Everyone is expected to learn the same things, to display the same interests, to have equal participation in discussions (aspies? discussions? either monologues or silence!). To me, this is a cruel joke, just like when I was in school.

Field trips about interests that are not those of the children, subjects we are supposed to like, projects that we don't understand...

We had something similar, called MIPS, which stood for , uh, Media Integrated, er, uh,whatever, we, uh effed around with Play-Doh!

The point is that constructivist teaching, like communism or the Bill of Rights is great in theory, but total crap in practice. Like it or not, an Aspie kid needs individual attention, on an on-call basis, not once a week to play silly games and to learn that you're evil because you have a lunch and Africa doesn't.

All I wanted to do was to play Tetris on lunch hour with my twitchy friend Mario, whose uncle was the cocaine lord of my city. That last part is not important, just funny.

when i was in 3rd grade, i made the announcement to anyone who could hear that i was going to be a bus driver~ because bus drivers didn't have to do math...........such was my intense hate for that evil subject. i hated it ( still do), i didn't understand it ( kind of do now), and i didn't see the need for it.................unfortunately, math is important in every day life. sometimes we all have to suck it up and take classes that we deem pointless and frustrating.
i'm not against homeschooling. i agree that it is good for many reasons. my concern with homeschooling remains: limited social interaction with non-related peers.as social issues are a primary difficulty with aspies, social interaction with others is of utmost importance..........in order to hold down a job, and be successful in life ( happy)~ you need to be able to get along socially with others.

When I was a child and didn't do as I was told, my father would hit me with a leather belt. Maybe you could try that.



Aspie1 Wrote:





You had a "meltdown" because they cleaned your room for you? And you want to smash your keyboard just thinking about it?

Ladies and gentlemen, here is a perfect example of someone using the term "meltdown" as an excuse to have a wittle temper tantwum.

Looks like this person used to bully aspies in school (feeling proud of yourself, aren't you?), and the username pretty much says it all. My parents didn't exactly clean my room per se. They hid the toys somewhere to teach me a lesson of some sorts, and/or to suppress what they perceived as insubordination. What can I say, my family had a very strict power hierarchy that no one was supposed to go against. And the smashing the keyboard thing was about something another person said, not about the room. In all honesty, I would have preferred getting a hard spank or two, rather that having my toys moved to an undisclosed location.

I am really unsure about a 5th grader because all of mine are little. However, I've found that holding the absolute conviction that my kid is going to do this helps. A lot. And I use a visual schedule with all three of my children. When the chore card is up, we do chores. I am just now getting to where I can tell my 5yo to do something and she does it. My boys (4 and 2) I have to work with them.

Like I said, maybe not good for a 5th grader. But could you put it in his schedule that it IS TO BE DONE at this time (just before supper, just after supper, for instance). And perhaps do it with him for a few weeks while he gets used to it, then gentle reminders. I feel all children need to help around the household - it depends on the child what is appropriate, but they all need to do it.

Don't do that. That is passive aggressive invalidation, and I don't like it. Its disturbing to me that you are a teacher and behave like this.

You wonder why I think herding children into a building at gunpoint for the purposes of indoctrination is evil.

You ignore all my points and the facts I present to avoid looking bad.

What I said made you feel like a bad parent and a bad teacher, so you want to hit back at me and make me hurt.

I've had enough of you.