Pandora wrote:
Sometimes even now, I need to be told things two or three times. I hear the words but there is a lag between registering them and understanding what the person has said. If it's written down for me, I nearly always "get it" first time around. Many of us are more visual learners than auditory learners but it seems the schools adopt this one size fits all approach of just talking.
Pandora, just so you know: reading this above (and others' posts, also about having to hear things several times) was a
lightbulb moment for me! I always wondered WHY my son "pretended" (or so I thought) not to hear me when he was right there, ... yet at the same he sounded SO CONVINCING when he claimed I had not said anything.... So at times I actually wondered if I had spoken aloud or just thought about speaking. Now I look back and it makes sense. When I leave him a note in the kitchen things get done immediately (well, he is 15.... so not so immediately, LOL. But verbally I have to tell him several times and even so he not always does as told.
For all of you aspies who have been FRUSTRATED with your NT parents: I am one of those parents and I can attest that *
not knowing how to treat YOU* and *
not understanding YOU* was nobody's fault because we never
dreamt that you needed a different input or that your view of things was different. Upon learning about AS reality takes on a completely different shape and so many puzzle pieces click into place ALL AT ONCE. If you felt
disappointed or misunderstood please know that your parents felt
lost and INADEQUATE. I've felt like that many times. But now it seems that I wasn't a clueless mom and my son wasn't disruptive because he wanted to get noticed or because he did not care (as the school says...)
17 Nov 2007, 3:25 pm
