Potty Issues - Are We Alone?

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My daughter potty trained on schedule, but often has mini accidents because she can't be bothered to switch tasks. I think like everything else, potty is something they have to have a reason and an interest to do.

The therapist was supposed to be there for this meeting, but it was scheduled so abruptly that he wasn't able to make it. He has taked to the resource room teacher before, but not to the sub. We are going to ask him to talk to the principle as well, she has no experience in diagnosing autism spectrum disorders eh?

What other kinds of child advocates are there? And how do we find one?

From the reading I've done (as well as my own personal experiences) that rings very true. But it did seem the teachers and the principle had the attitude that this is something she can - and should - have better control over. Even more disturbing was the impression that they think she is doing it deliberately in order to get out of doing something by having me come to school and get her to clean her up. She knows that she won't get to stay home though, she'll just get cleaned up and taken back.

In fact, the last time I simply took along some wet wipes and clean clothes and changed her in the bathroom. Although none of them had ever suggested that such a thing was possible, they had always asked me to come and get her and bring her home to clean her up. I expect all she was hearing was "I get to go home."

*relieved sigh*

My daughter was got a phone call from Mrs. Miller, the resource room teacher (who is home on maternity leave), and it seems she was saying that although the sub teacher is a good teacher, she really doesn't have any experience working with the "special kids", and is very narrow minded about what is expected of children and how to accomplish that. So Mrs. Miller may be more of an advocate for Nove (and for us) than we realized.

I could tell Mrs. Miller was holding back on saying something during the meeting, my daughter feels that she didn't want to argue with either the sub or the principle during the meeting, but that she doesn't really agree with either of them. She said she had a long talk with the sub following the meeting about how difficult transitions often are for these children and how they can't expect these children to deal with changes (teachers or rules) overnight - or even over a few weeks.

She really wants to have a chance to have a good discussion with our therapist, and is even willing to attend one of the therapy sessions if that's the best time for the therapist to do a meeting. We still haven't heard from the therapist and he was very interested in attending this meeting yesterday, so we're wondering if something has happened to him or his family.

Anyway, feeling a bit more hopeful following the phone call from the teacher. Thanks to everyone for the sympathies and the advice. Hugs all round.

Is it possible at all that Nove is having accidents, because she is scared. Scared of what ever it is they want her to do. I know when I'm nervous my stomach is in knots and I have to go more often.
Something you said about the teacher saying that she is manipulative ie; it happens when she is asked to do something she doesn't want. I dont think she is manipulative But scared maybe, she may not even understand these feelings or assosiate the need to go to the toilet with intense butterflies or anxiety.
Any way just a thought.

Well, as I pointed out to the Substitute teacher, there have been many days when she didn't want to do the assignment, but only one day when she went though all three sets of clothing within 2 hours. She has never had control of her bathroom functions. This isn't something new in relation to being in school or to having a different teacher or to having more difficult lessons.

I do know about how stress can affect our bowels and bladder. I have Irritable Bladder Syndrome in association with FibroMyaliga - Irritable Bowel Syndrome is much more common with FM. I have wondered if perhaps she has FM, but at such a young age?

glad things seem to be going better................not sure where you can find an advocate in your state, but in CT you can apply for one through CPAC ( Child Parent Advocacy Center). maybe just googling child advocate+ your state would come up with some results ?

Ok hi again!
Don't know if it's worth mentioning but a friend off mine has a now 13year old who was diagnosed with incapressis (I dont think the spelling is right sorry) I spelt it the way it sounds. This boy was also diagnosed with ODD. He shows many similarities to my AS son, so his mother will be looking at having his ODD dx reevaluated. Maybe this is another thing (incapressis) you could ask your doc about. Just a thought.

Think it's spelled "encopresis", compressed excretia (severe constipation of feces).

ok thanks for the spelling My friends son didn't get the "urge" to go,he had a lot of accidents in his pants.

We've already done some research about her wetting and soiling herself - and tried eliminating gluten (no result) and then fruit (some result). But she doesn't have encopresis - she has had less than a dozen solid stools altogether in her whole 6 years, never any constipation.

The two signs that I was most worried about when she was 3 were that she wasn't talking yet, and that she was still having loose, runny stools. But the doctors didn't take those seriously.

I had some really bad potty issues growing up. Sorry for the parents out there.

Nah, we don't really care about the potty issues, except it is a hassle to have to go to school and clean her up when she's pooped in her pants. We just don't want anyone to make her feel bad about herself because she isn't potty trained - and that's what the substitute teacher was doing to her.

The problem with people like the sub and the principal is that kids with autism spectrum disorders don't look any different from NT kiddoes. A kid in a wheelchair that can't control their bladder or bowel is simply given help, not pressured to be "normal" in order to pass on to the next grade, but these women seem to think that because she looks normal that she's pooping and peeing in her pants on purpose.

Maybe I should ask them to explain to me what purpose she would have in pooping, or peeing, in her pants while she is asleep at night?

Those women seem like the typical NT b*****s.

This certainly isn't normal and suggests some kind of food intolerance/allergy (could take a while to find out). I also wonder if it's possible she has become infected with giardia (then again - wouldn't the rest of the family have runny motions too?).

Kids can get "nervous" diarrhoea but this seems to be a long standing issue. The poor girl! I can't see how a child would do something that leaves them open to being teased just so they can get out of an activity.

She really needs to be taken to a doctor to investigate the cause of the diarrhoea because as I said, it's not normal, and she could have chronic malnutrition because her food is passing through too fast.

One possibility is a mild case of cystic fibrosis, but if she has that, her motions would be full of mucus and be extremely foul-smelling. It's only that chronic diarrhoea is a symptom of cystic fibrosis and occasionally it is not picked up when a child is a baby.

Some kids also find it scary to use a toilet that is full sized or where there is no door.