teen and sexuality

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I am so sorry to hear this. All the debate about what is and isn't statistically accurate for AS falls by the wayside when you have one child who cannot understand his own urges, doesn't it?

I have to admit, my son's inability to respect physical boundaries has long been my greatest fear with him. He's too young to have a porn obsession and hasn't developed any sorts of sexual urges yet, fortuntely. I've been jokingly telling him for years that I think I'll simply never let him date because he could so easily break a law without realizing it; THAT message he has gotten. He's kind of wry about it, but I think he actually understands why I say it and may even agree with it; hard to say. I don't know how you prevent what might happen if it's going to happen ... I really don't. There is only so much a parent can do for a child.

I do think the legal system is too harsh at certain ages. A 14 year old AS is much more like a 10 year old when it comes to impulse control. Who gets to decide if that 14 year old had the mind of an adult instead of a child? And what about locals where there is no discretion? It's frightening.

Sorry what are you saying and where is your evidence? Other then your son. Why would they go after the young?

Because it is easier than trying to deal with people your own age. it happens, and it is disturbing... I know a guy who was into young people for that reason... as soon as I found that out, I blocked him from everything I had, and never spoke to him again.

As much as you have a point, I personally don't find it productive or sensitive to question someone who is clearly in a lot of pain right now.

It somewhat reminds me of when my parents discovered my sexual habits I had during my teenage years, all of which stemmed from gender issues. Fortunately for me, my parents only saw the tip of the iceberg... I never did anything illegal, I just made really poor decisions. As a result, my step mom didn't talk to me for a couple months. I will say I am rather high functioning, and I still had trouble determining what I should and shouldn't do, so it doesn't surprise me that stuff like this happens to others. I know it isn't what happens most of the time, and I pray that the media stays out of it this time, but truth is, a large number of people on the spectrum have some abnormalities with sexuality. What we need are better social systems to help parents deal with sexuality as soon as it arises in an ASD life, until then, we have to educate ourselves, and try our best to do what we can, and just pray that it doesn't happen.

??? Resentment leads to frustration and anger, and talking it out on other people. It is very productive to avoid that.

Sorry I disagree with you strongly.

Say hypothetically that that is true. Why do assume that they will be sexually attracted to them? I mean it is easier to take advantage of animals, do you do that?

Me personally when I was young I talked to adults. But that doesn’t mean I found the sexually attractive.

I think there is a serious point to be made between the distinction between personal space, and actively grooming or preying on someone.

I can't comment on this case as I don't know the details. The fact that the OP is continuing to fight for her son, give the impression that he has some redeeming qualities.

I remember not long ago there was some kids that go arrested for slapping the bottom of classmates, they were potencially going to be registered as sex offenders. Even the victims themselves admitted the school and the police had gone too far.

Its not always sexual attraction as it is attraction to sex. And yes, those with access to animals, it applies to pets and stuff to. It sometimes is just curiosity that gets taken one step to far, and actually has nothing to do with the person it is with, as much as being about the experience of it. I know it sounds wrong, and that is because it is. Noone should want something like that for themselves, but some people either aren't aware there is a line, don't know where to draw the line, or just don't get what is going on perfectly. Sh** happens, we deal with it, and we move on. However, without knowing the details, it is impossible to know whether this was "guided curiotisty", or misjudgement, or genuine pedophilia.

You talk as if you are an insider. Is that that because you just happen to believe your own theory? I would question your theory unless you have real numbers to back that up, that would be the diligent thing to do. Also what has it got to do with ASD in general? If you just want to rape someone, you could overpower a adult with a weapon, no social skills require. Grooming even a child requires social skills. One think that is known about paedophiles is they can be very persistent and manipulative, which require social skills.

I am just going to say that I do have some inside knowledge, no statistics to back it up though, I have known people who have had experienced some of the desires I mentioned firsthand, but did not act on them.

Well there you go then, clearly they have some idea of boundaries. If they then when on to act, they can't them claim not to know about those boundaries. If also doesn't change the fact that they had those desire which they are not likely to share with every social inept love shy person.

Their knowledge of boundaries were solely based on how they were raised (in a super Christian environment). I guarantee if they were raised a little less lenient, at least one of them would be in the same situation. I will not speak of it any further.

What I was trying to do is halt people from arguing with the mom, since to my eyes she has it difficult enough right now. But that is me posting, as an individual, not anything else.

On the side discussions of sexuality, do remember that this is the parenting forum and try to keep things from getting too divergent as a result. Any advice that can help parents with similar worries about their kids is, of course, welcome. That request is being made as a mod on this forum.

The title is 'teen and sexuality' as posted by the OP.

I am willing to provide suggestions with regard to parenting. For instance of being frozen with fear about your son not understanding physical boundaries, how about being more proactive in explaining them? Is it because you think hell never being able to grasp it? Why on earth would you tell a kid he will never be allowed to date?

Or is the point of your remark that you only tell people what they want to hear, even it mean going against your views and appeasing theirs?

Well that's very convenient of you, but I won't push it if it makes you uncomfortable. Feel free not to reply.

The point is not them, but what if anything has it got to do with ASD in general? You haven’t argued your claim. You say it doesn't have to have anything to do with sexual attraction but then again you are implying this behaviour is just arbitrary and there is no attraction to doing it, they might as well be doing it with an inanimate object. That clearly can't be the case as they are compelled and interested in certain people, and have a modus operandi. This is pathology in itself. Unless you can provide any evidence connecting this to ASD, then you can't really make these claims.

You are implying that loneliness alone is enough to turn some into a sexual predator. Back up your claim.

If the victim is just a surrogate, and they prefer adults then they could always go to a prostitute.