*§*AS-Parent Support Group*§*

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Yes, I have an AS son. I am not diagnosed AS (not assessed) but I am definitely not neurotypical. Being the non NT parent of an AS child has it's benefits, for one thing I really understand what he experiences with social issues. I have my own difficulties negotiating life and while there's a lot I've learned, there's a lot still I need to learn. I'll try to do my part in keeping this thread active, because I think it could be useful.

I have always let my son come to things at his own pace. Sometimes it seems like he will hold on to something forever and then one day he will decide that he's ready to let it go. This was true of his pacifier and also with potty training. The present issue is he can't get to sleep unless I am with him till he falls asleep. He's 12 by the way.He is visiting his grandparents in another part of the state and is having a hard time sleeping in a strange house. The available guest room is on the basement level far away from the master bedroom. He is too shy to ask his grandmother to make other arrangements so I have emailed her. My question is, do you think it is best to let him come to things when he's ready? I think most would say I was indulging him but I'm not sure if forcing change on an AS child is the right way to go. What do you think?

I agree, but this thread never seemed to get off the ground. I am pleased to see another AS-ish single mom here. My son is 12 and I have been sole parent since he was 9 months old.

I'm not sure why this thread never got off the ground because there are many here who are AS or suspect they are with AS children.I admit I don't post often in the parent's forum, maybe because I think he's wonderful just the way he is and I only want to help him learn how to navigate an alien world while still being true to himself. I tell him the way I've learned that things work and even if it doesn't seem to make sense it is to his advantage to understand it. One example is this: I have noticed in NT male culture it is common for a certain kind of teasing to happen. I realized it was some sort of unwritten test to see how resilient someone is. My son has never been able to tell the difference. He takes it all seriously and reacts angrily and then he is bullied afterwords.
I admire you for homeschooling. I don't think I could pull it off with my difficulties with executive function. I work and my son receives SSDI and with that we live right below the poverty level. The funds from the SSDI enable me to work at reduced hours (about 32 hours a week). I am lucky to have a job with flexible hours so I can easily get errands done in the middle of the day. My big problem is I cannot operate at the same level as most people. I don't feel it when I'm out there in the world but it must drain me because when I get home I feel exhausted and must nap before I can function again.
I wonder if people simply do not notice this thread. I think it would be nice to have a separate forum rather than just a thread but I don't know if Alex would go for it.

I applaud what you're doing, it can't be easy.

I would love to live in Australia, we are quickly going insane here in the US . What brought you there? Is your husband from Australia? As far as living standards I don't mind living simply except I lost my health insurance because the company I work for could no longer afford it. My son gets coverage as part of his SSDI.
I see what you mean about a completely separate forum. If you build it I will come.

I haven't posted in this thread for ages, for two reasons mainly; one is that the "worst" seems to be over, for me, in terms of being an AS parent, ( though who knows what horrors await me as my now 11 year old AS/PDD son enters adolescence ), and the other is that as you and others have said it is very difficult to discuss more than one subject properly on just one thread, it all gets very messy/muddled/complicated aswell as frustrating/tiring.

It really doesn't fit in the Parent's forum, and being of minority interest threads would disappear very fast in General Discussion. The only other option was the "In Depth" etc forum, because intended to be for people living independently etc, and parenting could be said to be about one very important aspect of those issues ... but the trouble is that it isn't "protected" from public gaze in the same way as this forum.

I suppose we could simply make this forum our home, and start many different threads on the subject of being an AS parent, but we didn't to begin with, didn't dare to in a way, almost as if being an AS parent was taboo in a way, and a lot of the initial interest has died down. But perhaps if AS parents did begin to regularly post new threads on the various issues it could work as a "partly" AS-Parent Forum? ...

We could even see this forum as peculiarly appropriate to parents with AS, because privacy and it's darker side, being hidden/shut away, is such a central part of the parenting experience for many of us, if only because children in our society have little or no public presence, little or no role outside of the house and the school system. Their invisibility ( and lack of power ) could be said to be part of the/our problem.
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Great ideas. My main concern is privacy. I can see the value in sharing openly but there are many topics I'm not ready to discuss in such a public space. I imagine there is more than one autistic parent out there who is terribly fearful about being outed if they aren't ready to take on that burden (and let's not fool ourselves about the can of worms it could open for many of us, we've seen what has happened to our kids as soon as people hear the word autism). I personally am not quite ready to champion the cause of parenting on the spectrum and already sometimes feel dismissed as "on the spectrum" by parents who like to imagine themselves as NT. It's happened in my personal life and online and I've only just "discovered" this bit of myself at 41 years of age.

One would think that parents would value the perspective of adults who have been able to find a way in the world, parent effectively and etc., ad. nauseum, but I often feel there is a lot of resentment going on in families who perceive themselves to be NT whilst "struggling" with an autistic child.

I would prefer a greater level of privacy. Of course, nobody can guarantee privacy in an online forum, but there are ways to be a bit more discriminating as to who is allowed to read/post on most SMF fora. I'd be far more open in that kind of space.

Just thoughts.

Posts such as this thread have put me off wanting to try at all.

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp3073435.html#3073435

I'm not sure I want this forum in my life. I have friends and some amazing supportive people/parents in my community of friends, but I'm fortunate. This will be my last post here. Good luck to everyone. I plan to go off and clean up all of my posts. Wish I'd never said anything here to begin with.

Both me and my wife are Aspies (actually subclinical if we embrace the DSM-V label) we have 2 children, a 3 years daughter and a 8 month son. My daughter already have a DX and we are using the Denver Method with her. It's pretty interesting when we go to our psicologist we go all 4 . Also she is writing a book about our family, something like "An almost normal family" or something like that.

We discovered Asperger due to our daughter about 1 year ago and after the first visit the psico asked us if we want to be tested too.

For our luck more than half of my family is in the spectrum, so we are "normal within ourselves".