Kids say the darndest things

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Oh yeah! He started doing hunt and peck, moving things slow and careful. Three days later was slinging blocks around without looking at the keyboard. DoS - who has gotten both his little brothers into the game (they play on his server - as does DH) - says DyS is amazing with the speed and complexity of his structures. DyS love the game because "it's like legos on the computer, and I get to have wolfies!" (He loves his dogs! )

When I was younger, I had issues with repeating the same thing over and over impulsively (usually something that never made sense). This one was my favourite:

"A man once went to kick a soccer ball, but he missed and he flew up into space and never came down!" (Yeah, that makes sense)

I also vaguely remember this conversation with my dad when I was really, really little:

"Dad, how come we can't see air?"
(He says something along the lines of 'because it's clear')
"Oh, but if we could see air, since it's everywhere, wouldn't that mean we couldn't see at all?"

My son (age 4) has already started Christmas caroling.

To the tune of "We Wish You a Merry Christmas: "Holy merry Christmas and I hope you'll be fine!"

"Jingle Bells": "Jingle bells, jingle bells jingle all the way. Oh what fun it is to ride and have a happy day!"

When I was a kid, my response was "I wanna be a school bus!"

So when I had kids, I did NOT give them the prerequisite of "you can be anything you want to be"

i have a few...

1) my 3 year old on a cold cold morning states " i wanna go beach mummy", i reply with " u cant sweetie its to cold for the beach " to which he stops in his tracks, puts his hands on his hips and stares at me before saying " NO STUPID its hot at the beach " !

2) i still cringe with this one my DD when she was younger on yet another cold day said ....." its f**king freezing"....... i told her not to ever say that its a naughty naughty word........... she stopped thought about it for a while and came out with "ok then its f**king cold"! !!

3) while taking my son for his hair cut, he point to the balding guy in the hair and shouts on top of his voice, " mum why is that men getting his hair cut he aint got no hair"

4) talking to my kids about my youngest starting school that week ...... " i will cry when he goes in, i cried on all of yours 1st day"..... my husband butts in with " yeah cried with joy "........... my DD turns round puzzled and says " but i dont have a joy in my school "

5) my DS " mum do u do knitting ".... "no sweetie i dont "........... " but u gotta do knitting, old people do knitting and u are old" ( i'm 30!)

I'm having a rather bad nasal allergy attack this morning. My son just told me my nose was crying.

My daughter Lilith likes to say the following.

1. Dad shut the f**k up

2. Dad are you trying to ruin my life.

My son says this to me a lot.

1. Dad go away I'm playing my xbox.
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2. Dad do my homework for me ill give you 20 dollars.

My son has told me some stuff that has had me just cracking up.

One day he ran to his room after dinner and took off his clothes and came out with his pjs in his hand, i knew that this meant he wanted to play the PS3 because it's the only time he'd voluntarily get his pajamas on. I told him it was okay but he had to wait for me to finish what I was doing so I could run his bath first. He sat on the floor naked to wait. After a minute he stood up scratching at his back side and said " There's something in the ditch in my butt"

Another time he got out of the bath and was twisting his privates, which we call his winker. He says " I'm twisting my winker" I asked him why and his reply was " to turn it into a jack o lantern"

and a couple days ago he was singing " he sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake, he knows if you've been bad or good so be pretty good for goodness sake" I was laughing thinking his Santa must be pretty cool, you didn't have to be good, pretty good was okay

I am not a parent, but an exchange I had with my (mostly) non-verbal cousin made me laugh today.

We were in a shopping centre, and there was a man dressed up as Santa.

Me: Who is that, TJ? *Pointing to the man*
TJ: Hohoho!
Me: Is he your friend?
TJ: No, no.

I'm actually not sure what to do with this one....

Youngest is 4, and turning 5 in January. But he's not -- he's declared that he's going to be twelve next month, making him four years older than his big brother.

Any attempts to dissuade him of this 8 year jump are met with an absolutely furious, shrieking response. He's going to be 12. He knows that for a fact.

My four-year-old got a bat and some whiffle balls for Christmas. I saw him hold one of the balls up to his mouth and blow into it a few times, then he got a frustrated look on his face, held the ball out to me and said, "Make it work!! !"

I said, "Work how? It's a ball. You know what to do with a ball."

"But it's a WHISTLE ball, Mommy! Make it WHISTLE!"

My little brother has Aspergers, we're ten years apart. One afternoon, I was getting ready for a date and he said,"Ooo! Katherine has a boyfriend! You think he's handsome don't you?!" I have never been so happy to hear him make fun of me.

About a week later, I was tired from staying up late and referred to the fridge as the freezer. He said,"Um....do you want me to make you a sign so you know which one is which?"

One day, my brother was being sarcastic....I asked him when he was going to do his chores and he said,"I'm SO EXCITED, Katherine." I had to leave the room....I couldn't stifle my laughter.

My son said he had a song stuck in his hair.

Our male dog was desexed today and our DD was very fascinated at the whole process, she said he would of only been able to have 2 puppies as he only had 2 testicles, huh!

my 10 year old autistic son has for 4 yrs now insisted that he is a bird. not just any bird but a cockatoo complete with a new name that he has adopted, and this has been consistent for 4 yrs he has refused to answer to any other name and becomes very upset when someone calls him anything else! since he is a bird, he "squawks" when he is angry and "his wings flap when he is happy" ! well the other day we were on our way to a social skills group interview, and i told him i really wanted him to be as mindful as possible of his behavior while we were there, and he responded " dont worry, ill put my best talon forward" ...