Kids say the darndest things

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For a few years my daughter and I have always filled a stocking with chocolate for my husband. I told her Father Christmas didn't come for grown-ups and we thought it would be a fun thing to do.
This week (aged eight) she worked out that Father Christmas wasn't real. She asked me: "Do you think Daddy knows we fill his stocking?"

Okay, this is gross, but the other day when my 4YO was picking his nose, he said, "Look Mommy! I found a burger!"

The best one I can think of was a Chistmas Pagent, where the children' choir was singing the Old French Carol, The angel Gabriel. One child had the refrain Most Highly Favored Lady as a solo. It came out Most Highly FLAVORED Lady.

Another one that happened years ago in my church was printed in the order of service for that service. Instead of the passing of the Peace, it was printed as the Passing of the Peach.

But mom, the deodorant says on the package 48 hour protection I dont need to use it everyday! LOL

Ds has the worst cold. I told him if I could take your cold so you wouldn't have to deal with it I would. He says well, you wouldn't like it very much. hahahaha! Hes so literal I love it. Sorry that just cracked me up after a long Monday.

my sweet, 7yo HF Aspergers son was talking to me the other day. I am 7 months pregnant, and he was asking my why the baby is also making my back grow bigger. He then said:

"Oh, wait a minute, thats not your back its your butt, nevermind!" and he walked away.

If anyone else would have said it I would have cried...but he had me laughing!

The following was a conversation in our house. I told it to some people at work and they just looked at me funny. My family found it hilarious. Maybe you guys will get it.

We were watching a show in which a midget brings this drink to a girl. I was trying to figure out what the drink was, water, cola, alcohol, and I just couldn't figure it out. The girl refuses the drink, so the man sets the drink on the ground next to his foot and says "I'll just leave it here for you." The camera zoomed in on the bottle and I could read the words "NeHi" so...

Mom: Oh, It's NeHi
Son with AS: No mom, its (the bottle) not knee high, remember he is a really short man.

Everyone started laughing, including my son when we explained to him NeHi not Knee High

hahah reading over your guys funny kids storys i will be adding mine soon. i think my favorite one was of the little boy learning spanish and the boogers so far i havent finished them yet but i had comment. i burst out laughing. all very funny storys. thank you guys for the funny storys it makes me happy to know my kids and i am not alone. ty
mom2aAspie

Our 15 year old son makes me lmao every day with the differt things he comes up with . I love the way he looks at things .

Ok had to add this to the funny stuff. My DOS had a Iep meeting this year to update it and when he was asked what his strengths, prefernces and interests were he said " I am good at board games, especially hero Quest, I am interested in Zombies, rolling dice and multiplying the numbers on paper. " when it was read at the meeting everyone thought it was funny and cute. he is 10 btw. he was learning about multiplying in school so it was a game he was doing. he is into D& D and any type of game doesnt matter what kind he wants to play it. The zombies is what got everyone laughing though. i dont know what got him interested in them his never seen a movie with them in them, maybe it was that game plants vs zombies. idk idr.

I got my boy some Havarti cheese for his sandwiches. He called it "Happy Farty" cheese.