Kids say the darndest things

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I was cuddling with Gage a little before school this morning and telling him how much I love him, etc. I told him he's the only little boy I'll ever have, to which he replied "What if I build a robot me?". Too funny!

When my younger bio son was around 3 we were in the local Price Rite shopping, when he all of a sudden looked around and said - as loud as his little voice could - "Mamma, where are all the Americans?"
Earlier this year (he's 10 now) he informed me that he "doesn't like it when people speak other languages than English, because it isn't fair that I don't understand them." I told him that was a good reason to learn them.

In the eye doctor's office, waiting for our turn, my thirteen year old bio son experienced one of his then frequent spontaneous erections. He proceded to attempt to touch it. I told him no, in a hushed tone. He apparently didn't understand me. I said "just no" and he responded - in that voice that could carry into next week - "What mom, no erections?" Utterly defeated in my attempt to be circumspect, I calmly responded. "No, AC just no touching them in public."

My step middle boy (who has just turned 11) when he was younger asked me, "Is that boy brown cuz he doen't like baths either?"

We call moments like these the "lack of filter" phenomenon.

Today is my DH's birthday. My twelve year old Aspie said to him, "I hope you got condoms for your birthday." I told him that was not really appropriate to be concerned about and he said, "I don't want any more siblings." So my H says to him, "Too late, your mom is already pregnant again and due in May!" (I'm actually not) and the twelve year old responds with , "God Bleep it! (he actually said bleep) Just in time for school to let out."

^^

Just as we are pulling into the parking lot to the store we pass a small traffic circle with a statue of a man on a horse.

Son: *bursts into hysterical laughter*

Me: What on earth is so funny?

Son: That horse has a weiner!

Me: *sigh* ... Why is that so funny?

Son: I don't know! It just is!

Me: Is it funny that you have one?

Son: No!

Me: *boggle* You know both genders are required for horses and many other creatures to produce offspring, it is only natural. Horses are not sharks, they cannot produce with just a female.

Son: Sharks can have babies with no male?

Me: Yes, it is kind of like cloning, only they go through pregnancy.

Son: What would happen if they made a copy of a copy of a copy?

Me: Just like using a photo copy machine to make a copy of a copy of a copy, it would degrade eventually. Only it is more complicated because genetics are involved.

Son: It is complicated to make a copy if you think about it scientifically. Positrons are sprayed and a beam of light has to hit your picture and be reflected back. And then it has to make your copied image...

Me: ... Yes I can see how that is probably a bit more complicated than I had thought.

Son: Fire is Beautiful... I think that is why I like angry women.

Me: *sigh* You think so?

Son: Yes. Maybe someone can do a study about why guys think girls are so cute when they are mad.

Me: Yes, I suppose that would make a good study... *thinking the old man could take part in that study*

We went to the pool at a KOA campground. I was probably four and the other kids in the pool were of another race, which I hadn't seen much of before. When I asked about their pretty skin, Grandma just it was "different". While she sat talking to the other children's parents, we kids were taking turns on the slide. I got in line to go up the ladder. I looked up and said, "Hey Grandma, look how pink her feet are!!" She was mortified, but the girl's parents laughed. Oh, sweet innocence!

Christmas day about 2.5 years ago(he was 2 at the time), my little brother stands up on his little fire truck and my mom, dad, sister, brother, and me all said "mikey, get down" and he goes "I sit down". we were taping that morning and got it on tape and we couldn't believe our ears. He didn't talk after that until about 1 year later. It was weird but amazing.

I was riding in the work van this morning with my boss and I was talking about what happened at the venue I ran sound for the night before and I was going on about and then I saw some car in front of us and I said "man that car is very disposable." The rest of the ride to the diner was pretty silent. Oops.

I do this to my sister so much when we're driving places. I annoys her to no end.

Tonight my 11 year old son finally fixed something on his laptop that he had been working on for days. He came running in to the living room where his father and I were sitting and said "I fixed my laptop, I fixed my laptop" then bent down and kissed me on the cheek and said "thanks for your high intellegence gene's mum". He then looked at his father like he was going to say something to him, then did an exagerated shrug and without saying anything to his father he walked out again.LOL His father said nothing but shook his head and laughed.

That boy sure knows what side his bread is buttered on! LOL

My daughter was about six when she read a Snapple fact:

"An ant can lift 50 times its own weight"

She got a skeptical look on her face and said: "I don't think [aunt] Melissa can do that."

I asked my 3-year-old son (thought to be an Aspie) what we will find under the tree on Christmas. "A big MESS!" was his reply.

A few months ago, we were eating dinner at my parents house. My 80+ year old grandma lives with them. Her hearing is pretty terrible, even with her hearing aids in and she's really starting to lose quite a bit of her mental capacity. She wears one of those life alert necklaces. Of course, my 7 year old Aspie was quite intrigued by it and asked what it was for. My parents explained and then she said "Is it because she's old?" Then after more discussion about what the purpose of the necklace was she looked at my mom and said "Grandma, if great grandma dies, will you push the button for her?" Thank goodness great grandma's hearing is not good!

I called my 7 year old son over to the computer today to show him that I made it snow on one of my games he said...."Cool, can I resume playing in my head now?"

The other day we had the first snow fall (wet flurry) of the year.
My daughter, (4 years old) at dinner turned to me and said, "We might be in Russia!"
I replied, "Russia, why might we be in Russia?"
Daughter "Because it's snowing here, and it snows in Russia."
I, because she loves penguins, say, "We might also be in Antarctica."
Daughter, "It snows more in Antarctica. This is more like snow in Russia."

As of today neither myself, my husband, nor the staff at her school know where she learned about Russia.

My husband just reminded me that he and my 7 year old Aspie son were having a conversation about moving to France. My son does not what to go to France so my husband (who is French) asked him why.
Luc: "They eat snails in France"
PaPa: "You dont have to eat snails and besides, snails are too good for you"
Luc thinks for awhile and looks at my husband and says
"Are you trying to use reverse psychology on me?"
My husband was cracking up and Luc added.
"Its not going to work, you know?"

I think Im going to take LabPet's fathers idea and keep a log of funny things my kids say. I remember many things my 17 year old aspie daughter used to say, some cute and some really embarrassing. I know I embarrassed my Mom all the time. My 4 1/2 year old Autie daughter is really funny. She talks constantly, most of it is scripted or repetitive but she seriously talks and or sings from the moment she wakes up until she falls asleep. She has one of those cute little sing song voices so its nice actually.

I slammed my finger and said as a reaction, "f***er!" Immediately, my daughter said it. I think it was a one-time thing as she hasn't said it since.