Do you yell at your children?

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It's hard for parents...but I take your point.

I yell at my daughter sometimes, not a lot, usually after asking her about 5 times to do something.
I have yelled at my Autistic son a handful of times only.

I don't yell at my daughter..she is three years old and autistic, it would be cruel and pointless..if she was affected by it, it would just cause a lot of stimming/melt downs. I have spoken in a stern voice though, but I believe that is much different.

Yup. DEFINITELY important to apologize when you're wrong.

Because everyone is, sometimes. Making it OK to be wrong makes life easier for EVERYONE.

My mother yelled constantly when I was a child.

Parents should ALWAYS try to AVOID it, unless you want your children to hate you.

When I was in 5th grade I ran away from home. In 6th grade I attempted suicide.

I absolutely hate my mother.

I am sure it is, but that does not excuse all the opportunities my mom took to yell at me and my siblings the way she did. I know sometimes people yell because they get frustrated and lose control even parents but to actually scream at your child belittling them is not something I see as justified which is what my mom did.

Not to mention well the sensory issues can make yelling just downright painful.....

I did it again this morning, she refused to wear her clothes in the freezing cold bathroom and got screamed at and smacked for being stubborn. She's old enough now to tell me that "daddy hurt her". I feel a little sick.

I'm the last person to advocate screaming or hitting but I'm afraid frustration and concern over your child's welfare can push you over the edge. Wait till you have children sweetleaf. Then you realise we can't be Jesus Christ all of the time.

really? smacking a child because she refused to wear clothes? how does that tell her that she needs to take care of herself and dress to stay warm? all she is learning is dad hits if he gets mad or it's ok to hit people if they do not do what you tell them.

yelling and hitting a child who does not have special needs makes me sick, doing so to a child with special needs is so much worse

I'm not having children.......but I just don't see what good screaming at ones kids does. I mean like I said I can hardly talk to my mom because of it because that's how intimidating it always was when she decided to scream and yell especially with the yelling hurting due to sensory issues.

Yeah I wouldn't say I approve of such techniques either.

My mom would smack me when I react to sensory issues and it worked every time because getting hit hurt worse than what I was dealing with. Mom yelled at me too when I wouldn't listen. I even knew a girl with Down's syndrome who got yelled at too by her mother and she also got spanked.

So your child has a current obsession with power cables and wants to stick things into the powerpoints. How do you react? They are too low functioning to understand time out but they have sensitivities to loud noises which scares them into stopping the activity.

What would you do?

I'm not a parent, and I never plan to be.

But as a child my mum never shouted at me. We don't have a very good relationship, because although she never shouted at me, she was just generally neglectful and only really spoke to me when she needed emotional support.

My aunt yelled at me once, which was distressing. My mum's ex boyfriend would yell at me and her a lot.

I don't really think it gets you anywhere generally.

Folks, I'm no moderator, but I think this thread is going in a direction that's not helpful to anybody.

I think the point parents are trying to make is that we're not perfect and we get frustrated and make mistakes - sometimes serious mistakes, sometimes little mistakes. This can be doubly difficult if we are on the spectrum ourselves. Believe me, when I was in the worst of it and had no support, I would go and BEG professionals to help me stop yelling; it took a LOT of searching to find help that I could actually implement, and a LOT of re-education for me to change. Even though I'm much better, I'm still not 100%; no parent is perfect.

I think the point that the adults on the spectrum are trying to make is that yelling and other forms of punishment are much more serious and very different for kids on the spectrum than they would be for NT kids. This is very important information for parents of kids on the spectrum, and I really appreciate it being offered.

I think that NOBODY is trying to say that we like and want to use yelling and like punishments as parenting tools. If the AS adults posting in this thread want to help, maybe offering alternative ways to manage situations where we need to get our kids to do things they won't or can't do would be helpful.

Telling parents how bad they are is not modeling good parenting - it's essentially the same as the behavior you are trying to stop.

Well if I see a kid about to stick something in an outlet then I might yell because it scares me......but then I'd probably end up apologizing to the child like 'sorry I yelled at you like that, it just scared me and I didn't want you to get hurt'. But as a general rule no I would not knowingly scream at them knowing it hurts them to make them stop doing something else. My preferred method would be plug up the outlets so they are harder to get into(things for that can be bought at the hardware store), I might do my best to make sure power cables are out of reach and if the child was going to play with an outlet(but not in immediate danger) I would calmly stop them and try to explain why its a bad idea......if they don't have the capacity to understand that at that point then I would try re-directing them to another safer activity.

That may work with a toddler but try a 5yr old who pries the caps off with anythibg skinny he can find. Autistic children can have obsessive interists just like us adults on the spectrum. What I am getting at, is that there are circumstances that yelling is appropriate. It is easy to be idealistic until you have a child on the spectrum or even multiple children on the spectrum like I do.