2+E and at the end of my rope

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We're not close to that, but it sounds wonderful. We are south of Macon. Stratford Academy in Macon is the only thing close enough, and they are interested in the boys but the resources aren't there to fund their education. They'd qualify for full ride scholarships. They are both polite, conscientious, considerate, hardworking, motivated students, any teacher's dream come true (except for demented ones who can't handle kids being smarter than they are).

We've got an appointment for Eldest today at his councelors. We won't get any answers or anything but at least we get to talk about it.

Something disturbing happened today. I had to pick up Middle son from enrichment and the Director of Gifted Education for our county was there. If you've read the thread you know there is a long history, she ought to know all three boys by name and that they are in fact three different people. I've sent her countless letters, emails, reports, evaluations and so on about them, usually at her request. When I ask to meet with her she tells me to write out my concerns and send them, which I always do, and then to call her to set up a meeting, which I always do. Then she always has excuses for not meeting.

This morning I had to pick Middle Son up early from enrichment and I signed him out by name. She was there, and so was a secretary. I told the Secretary my son's name and what class he's in, and then this lady pipes up "OH, his name is X but he goes by Y"...Um, no, his name is X his brother's name is Y. There are two of them.

So, all those letters and emails she asked for so she could consider their cases, she's never read them. She thinks they are the same kid. Just the other day she'd asked me if Little Guy was coming to enrichment. I told her no, Middle Son would be and that Little Guy isn't old enough yet.

I knew we were a low priority, now I know we aren't even that. She has never made even the slightest effort on our behalf and she never will.

You know, I hope that isn't true. It might be, but I hope not. Not everyone is good at names, and she's probably got 500 cases to keep straight, and that list changes annually. In our school of 350 kids and all the fund raising I do, you'd think I would know who is who and, yet, I managed to totally mix up a name and a face to the point where this woman came to pay for and pick up auction items and I said, "but you aren't XXXX." Ooooooppppssss, my mistake. Thankfully she took it lightly.

It may well be that she requests the letter because her memory does stink; that would be the right way to compensate.

Oh, it' not the name mix up that tips me off that she has never paid attention and never will, it's the fact that she thinks the two boys are one kid. Anybody could mix up names, no big deal. Everytime I talk/write to her I reference my eldest son because she knows him...everybody knows him because he's got a lot of problems and because he used to hang out with a popular kid that she pays attention to. Since I want her to realize these conversations are all connected I always reference all three boys starting with the one she recognizes. It's only been a couple of days since we had such a conversation.

She's polite and friendly, but obviously not concerned enough to pay attention. She's got to be on auto pilot or something and she's certainly ot read any of the numberous documents she's requested from me.

I figured the same thing you did, that she requested letters and email because she's got so many kids to keep track of and that would help her memory. Apparently what she's really doing is getting parents to write down their concerns and issues as a diversion so the parents feel like something is happening when it isn't. I'd expected better.

Sometimes I forget to fully credit how long you've been on this road and how many thoughts you've already gone through.

Still, we can HOPE you are wrong, right?

Sigh. I am so sorry you have such #&%*#(@&$#( to deal with.

You hope. I'm past that point. It's not helping me and just makes me waste my efforts.

The news on about Eldest son is a lot worse. I can't even type it.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( hugs )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

assuming you aren't one of the ones here who can't stand hugs. I just have to offer you something.

Thanks. I'm usually OK with hugs though I think I have shingles and haven't been handling touch well, but it should pass. Eldest is not well, and the long term solutions are pretty horrible. There just aren't any good options, so we will have to pick the best of several truly terrible choices.

Thanks to everybody for talking through this with me. We didn't come up with new solutions but its very affirming to see that so many great parents can't come up with anything better to try than what we've tried.