Parents on the spectrum

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My journey to try and understand my children has been valueable in understanding my own issues. I am not sure if I am an aspie but I do suspect. Also I read the guide to asperger syndrome by Tony Attwood it was reading about all my own sibilings and relatives.
I got a lot of answers, understanding still learning.

I would have a lot of AS traits and sensory issues, of course I have learnt how to manage many through lifes journey. But I get stressed out so easily, and still find it difficult to express myself verbally and written. I have so much more to say at times but just can't get it out or down on paper. People always misunderstand what I am trying to say this makes me crazy!

hi. i joined W P a while back and for some reason just noticed Parents' Discussion now. Thanks for starting it - I think it's a great idea as there is so much stress at times being aspergian. If I weren't a parent I 'd just quietly leave and be hermit artist with a dog and a cat up in some mountains somewhere.
As it stands I am almost hermit-like even though I have a son at home still. I'm really worried what will happen now as my daughter who is nineteen recently decided to leave town with her boyfriend. So my son will be alone "with the hermit". Not sure what to do.

I think you do need to back up your Aspie child overtly. If I were your child I would definitely be thinking you loved him more than me - because these rules don't make any sense, truly are insane, yet you continue to let it happen. He's your child, you know him best, you set down the rules. All kids need predictability and consistency. You need to be able to stick up for your child when someone is doing something clearly not in their best interests. Just my 2 cents.

re: Yesterdaysmom
Is it terrible that I had a weekly bath when I was a kid? Every Saturday night, to be clean for Sunday School. I don't think that's terrible. Little kids don't secrete hormones like adults, so unless they roll in dirt they don't get stinky. I definitely don't think you need to bathe all four of them every day. In France even adults don't shower every day!

there really should be a topic for parents on the spectrum. It is very different raising kids when you the parent are on the autism spectrum. So is having Aspergers, being female and married to a somewhat NT husband. I have the difficulties with dealing with the school, difficulties with communication with my husband and definate communications problems with being on the same page when it comes to discipline for the kids. I am just recently realizing that our two boys, 6, and 10 have been "playing us" against each other. They know just what buttons to push, what to say or do to get us to argue. Then they know we both get stressed and tend to give in. It was only after my husband has been gone for a week(his mom passed away) and I am here dealing with my boys by myself. It has taken a week, but my boys know what I will put up with and what I wont. They have come to understand what my expectations are and what the consequences are. My house has been staying clean, we have been doing things together and they don't argue and fight as much (thank goodness because my voice is now gone from throat irritation and coughing all night) They know that when they are outside playing in the yard, and I blow a whistle, they need to immediately come in or else it will involve time out sitting in their rooms doing nothing(no tv, no playing, etc. Just sitting there) 5 mins for each time they are not following what they need to be doing. My oldest is good at doing as I say. My 6 year old is a whole other situation. I could say he is defiant or I could call it very strong willed. Either way, he is difficult with getting him to listen to me. Once my husband is back, I hope things keeping running smoothly, but I know it will be difficult. We need to have an agreement on what our expectations are for the kids and to agree on what the concequencse are. Also, the biggie is having one parent back the other parent up on it.

I am mother to a 8 year old boy.
I find parenting a tough job i suffer from depression, moodswings and Asperger

Other parents are able to guide and help out their children well because they live
in a social circle.
I find it extremely difficult since im cut off from people.

I am no longer in touch with my parents or in-laws
the other children here are guided by parents to join sports club, dance class etc
since i feel shy approaching people i have not enrolled him in any activity

also his books and notes are incomplete i feel shy approaching other parents
and asking them about the notes...........
sometimes they have avoided my requests.

Lot of my energy is spend chasing him and making him complete his homework
or study for test. he manages to get average marks

I dont know how the situation will be once he grows up since he as become hyperactive,
backanswering, indisciplined, demanding and asking for lot of games, toys and mostly
watching TV.

do other aspies face this problem??

I am wondering if the parents who fit the description for this thread should put watches on it. While it is slow moving, the issues that come up are usually pretty important, and it is too bad it takes so long before people realize there has been an issue raised.

Since I haven't self identified as being on the spectrum (although I am getting less sure of my self-evaluation as time goes on), I usually feel like it isn't my place to provide input.

(((hugs)))

Parenting is always hard.

But, it is harder when one or more members of the household are on the spectrum.

I tend to be somewhat extroverted for an Aspie, but am still much more introverted than most NT's. My husband is a very introverted Aspie. We have a 10-year-old son with AS or HFA (depending on who you talk to). Our son is like me in that he is fairly extroverted for an Aspie. We also have a truly extroverted 7-year-old son with ADHD.

I also have bipolar with mostly depression and severe anxiety.

So, we don't have many social connections. We have some family, but they are all in other states. We don't attend church. The boys have been in private schools up until a week ago, so we have not gotten to know other kids and families in the neighborhood.

If I didn't have kids and didn't have to go to their schools, doctors, therapies, etc. I would probably just stay home alone most of the time.

It is very challenging.

Just know that you are not alone in this. It helps that I can come onto wrongplanet when I need help or advice.