I have a 12 yrs old functioning autistic step daughter

Post Reply New Topic

See, I told you people get mad when you tell the truth !

Someone brought up their Father being undiagnosed Asperger's. When I read the OP's posts I can see Asperger's. I have serious OCD and control issues. I can not stand it when someone is driving and I am not able to drive anymore. I have been very, I suppose, depressed off and on for the past few years due to the fact that I feel useless at times. I have a disease....actually it may be two (I have hyper flexable joints) and also severe nerve damage. My disease is called Ankylosing Spondylitis....a lot of people call Aspergers AS and also my bone disease is known as AS so I have stopped using it all together even though Ankylosing Spondylitis is LONG to type and my fingers usually hurt....which also pisses me off because Im a writer. The finger thing is new but I have found a way to be useful in my eyes. I write, I make small films and I take care of my kids who are always first or primary, especially since this past August when I lost my oldest son.
Im afraid there is a lot of "weakness" in my family but until you walk in these shoes....you dont know what it feels like or how strong you have to be to be so weak.
Also Kamikaze6rr you are not the only person who was raised this way or maybe even believes what you posted....you were just brave enough to say it!
My son is perceived as weak because even though he was able to stay clean from heroin he used after two years because he went off his Bi Polar medication (mental illness also perceived as weakness) became depressed and impulsive and used again....he didnt use a lot but too much for someone who was clean for as long as he was. Heroin is a horrible drug it takes control of your mind, you are slave for the rest of your life. My son is gone, Ill never hug him again, hear his voice, he cant ever make me laugh again (unless I remember how funny he was and how he could ALWAYS make me laugh). My son was a wonderful person. When he was 14 even though he was already using drugs and was mentally ill, he saved a 9 year old boys life from burning to death. He was with a bunch of kids by a creak and they were being boys and playing with paint thinner. Lighting rocks on fire and throwing them in the creek. The younger boy started pouring the paint thinner in front of his face and lit it as it was pouring out before the other boys could stop him. It was like a flame thrower and it lit this kids entire head on fire. All the other boys ran but not my son. He grabbed the boy, doused his head in the creek and walked him home as his eyes were burnt as well. My son told me that he kept asking him how bad he looked and he was afraid to go home because he said his Dad would whip him for playing with fire. My son told him he looked ok (even though his skin was peeling off his face) and he didnt think his Dad was going to do anything but take him to the hospital.
He was in the burn unit for months and he nearly died. The doctors said if it were not for my sons quick action, even though the water was dirty, he saved his life. He also stayed with a girl, until help arrived, who he did not know who overdosed when he had a warrant out for his arrest. After he died all his friends who used with him but are now clean told me that he was always the first one to jump into action when someone overdosed.....unfortunately there was no one there to save him.
Life is too short and too important to spend it being depressed or judgmental.
I now know Im not useless and I started to realize that after I was diagnosed and I found that after years of thinking myself stupid I have an IQ that is well above average.
Everyone deserves to be understood and if we all would stop being judgmental, like my son who never judged anyone, and this world could be a better place.
Stop looking to place blame on others. You go to places like this so you can be yourself and get help. The guy who started this thread is being honest, he is being himself and he is trying to change and be a good, Dad and spouse. I respect that and I hope that change does happen and I hope things are better for the little girl who forgot to put her fly up and put her belt on!

Sorry, Im constantly editing....I wanted to make a comment about the bullying thing. Sometimes it is the Aspie who looks like the bully because we start fighting back....its not the best thing and we dont bully but it happens every now and again when we are pushed to far our volcano goes off. My best friend, also an Aspie, we grew up in Junior and High school together and her son is also Aspie. One time she took her son to play with some typical kids and about a half hour later one came running in screaming that my friends son was killing one of the other boys. Sure enough he had him by the throat up in the air. He has still not been diagnosed and he was born right after my first son so he is now 24 but he was about 12 at the time and sick and tired of being teased and tormented. The other boy was fine but Im sure he was scared . Weak we are not ...just kidding. Still it can be serious, because of my now 19 year olds brutal honesty I had to take her out of school as she made a racial slur not really perceiving it as such. She was tired of being picked on by the Mexican girls as all the boys were after her. My daughter is very dark we are part Shawnee indian and she also nearly looks part Asian, dont know why. Anyway, these group of girls were constantly picking on her because she was thin and I bought her nice clothes because she was in a goth period a few years before and I did not have the money to buy her the jeans with all the chains on it plus she was having sensory issues with the shower so she was picked on in 4th and 5th grades a lot. So she told one girl that she only thought she was tough because she was Mexican ( we lived in California, north of San Diego ). The girl told her if she came to school the next day she was going to kill her and showed her a knife. That was it for me, home school!