Could it be Autism? I'm tired of dissecting my daughter!
Agree with Zette on that . Sometimes if you hyper focus on something you miss the bigger picture. Can't you turn your attention to a hobby or something else to keep you happy, and still keep her in your peripheral vision so the pressure is off her? If you know what I'm saying. She wants her dad to be happy too. Some interest like wood work/ kite making/flying- perhaps; you could do somehting together so the focus is off her, I'm not being facetious , just approaching from a different angle.
Just to be clear, I didn't think you were. I mean, it just seemed to me that is was being implied that people would do that. I know some people would, but you just seemed like you were requesting advice and input, which people gave. I commend your parental vigilance.
Also, to answer an earlier post of yours, about noting the difference between a child with ASD, ADHD or an NT kid, I think a lot of people get distracted by lists of 'warning signs' and such like. I know I did, when I found out about ASDs. I questioned my mother about a raft of different things regarding my development and behaviour.
This is a purely subjective anecdotal experience, and not an objective description of the difference between an ASD child and an NT child.
From her description, the difference between me, a child with an ASD (suspected, but highly suspected), and my brother at the age of 3 was routine. I watched the same film (The Lion King) everyday, several times a day. I wouldn't interact with people unless they pushed it, I refused communication although my communicative skills were good. I never babbled, talked to myself as a played, or made up 'stories' for my toys. A car was a car and obeyed the rules that cars were bound by, a bouncing ball was a ball.
To my brother, a car was a rocketship, a ball was the world. My brother chattered away to everyone, about anything. One day he'd be running around pretending his hand is a gun, another day he'd be playing with mud, or whatever, basically he did whatever. Routine was just the time mum called him in for lunch, for me it was everything, and even if parents weren't enforcing it, I was.
But, not every child with an ASD with have one of their main problems being repetitive and restricted behaviour.
I know you've probably seen this, but, the DSM criteria as it is currently:
(I) A total of six (or more) items from (A), (B), and (C), with at least two from (A), and one each from (B) and (C)
(A) qualitative impairment in social interaction, as manifested by at least two of the following:
1. marked impairments in the use of multiple nonverbal behaviors such as eye-to-eye gaze, facial expression, body posture, and gestures to regulate social interaction
2. failure to develop peer relationships appropriate to developmental level
3. a lack of spontaneous seeking to share enjoyment, interests, or achievements with other people, (e.g., by a lack of showing, bringing, or pointing out objects of interest to other people)
4. lack of social or emotional reciprocity ( note: in the description, it gives the following as examples: not actively participating in simple social play or games, preferring solitary activities, or involving others in activities only as tools or "mechanical" aids )
(B) qualitative impairments in communication as manifested by at least one of the following:
1. delay in, or total lack of, the development of spoken language (not accompanied by an attempt to compensate through alternative modes of communication such as gesture or mime)
2. in individuals with adequate speech, marked impairment in the ability to initiate or sustain a conversation with others
3. stereotyped and repetitive use of language or idiosyncratic language
4. lack of varied, spontaneous make-believe play or social imitative play appropriate to developmental level
(C) restricted repetitive and stereotyped patterns of behavior, interests and activities, as manifested by at least two of the following:
1. encompassing preoccupation with one or more stereotyped and restricted patterns of interest that is abnormal either in intensity or focus
2. apparently inflexible adherence to specific, nonfunctional routines or rituals
3. stereotyped and repetitive motor mannerisms (e.g hand or finger flapping or twisting, or complex whole-body movements)
4. persistent preoccupation with parts of objects
(II) Delays or abnormal functioning in at least one of the following areas, with onset prior to age 3 years:
(A) social interaction
(B) language as used in social communication
(C) symbolic or imaginative play
(III) The disturbance is not better accounted for by Rett's Disorder or Childhood Disintegrative Disorder
I think at the moment the last part of it is the most important, does she have problems with any of those? Only you can answer that, as we don't know your child.
(P.S. Sorry if my tone is off, or I seem impolite, I don't intend it at all.)
Let me start by saying, I had no clue you were on the spectrum, I figured you were a parent of a child on the spectrum. You obviously had a very mild diagnosis, and/or great therapy. I appreciate you sharing your personal experience with me, the fact that you realize what you were missing in yourself is incredible. As far as "thinking outside the box", I thought the example I gave about the Gumby video was a good example, how she recognized the family order just by watching them interact. Maybe this was not a good example.
As far as the DSM criteria, yes I've read it before, and the only one that sticks out to me is idiosynchratic language. She started talking at such an early age, I remeber her going around for a day when she was about 1 and a half, shaking peoples hands saying "Nice to meet you", Like stated before no echolacia, but she does use phrases she's heard. I thought that was normal. Her communication skills are excellent, and always have been. Here interest in what others are doing or showing us what she's done has NEVER been a topic. Sometimes I think the kid just wants to know everything. It is near impossible for my wife and I to have a conversation without her chiming in or asking "what are you talking about guys". The whole using toy improperly is another confusing topic for me. Some state that if a child can't make a phone out of a lego block it's a sign, other say if the crash there cars into blocks instead of racing them, it's a sign? Very confusing topic for me. The other thing which has driven me crazy for awhile that may match a criteria is when she's mad or scared, she gives me this "slackjaw" look. I have brought her to the mirror when she is upset, and asked her if she liked looking like she was mad. She responds no, and puts on that cheesy all teeth 3yr old smile. Noone has ever mentioned autism or a problem they've seen in my child other than a few who said she was bit hyper for her age. Wherever we go, people stop and ask how old she is, because she talks past her years. So once again, other don't see a problem, just me. Maybe I'm just watching to closely cause I'm petrified of what is going on inside her brain. Whatever happened to a simple broken wrist or a bad cut. Physical problems are so much easier to identify over mental.
Actually, I didn't recognise this in myself at all. I didn't think I had any kind of problems until I was about 15/16, but I didn't think about anything learning difficulty/developmentally different about me. It was when I actually started making friends again, after a friendless period of about 3-4 years that I noticed a difference, but I thought that it was probably due to my rather different home life.
It was actually my partner, and several youth workers who pointed out to me how 'different' I was. Then the investigation began! I haven't had any therapy, textual conversation is just my strongest skill set. (Sorry for derailing the topic, I just wanted to correct that assumption.)
Although I stand by my original assessment, that she's much more likely to be just a highly intelligent NT child with some sensory issues. Of course, as has already been pointed out in this thread, no one is really an expert, except for the professionals.
Saw this link on another thread. It has a few good videos of typical vs autistic play.
Autism video, has play examples
JsDad, I'm glad you are taking the time to enjoy her. When my son was young, I knew just something was off but didn't know what it was. The issues were all things which could be NT quirks my son would grow out of. More valuable to me at this point was to learn about my son, what works with him and what didn't. For example, he is perfectionistic and highly sensitive. I had to parent him very differently than my daughter. No diagnosis would teach me that. When I could no longer figure things out on my own, I got him diagnosed. Things were very clear by then.
I'm sorry for the double post, it got sent from my mobile and I don't know how to delete it. As I learn more about what autism is, it makes me think less and less that she has it. Zette, I had already seen those videos during my countless hours of research. Thank you for posting the link. Part of me wonders if she may have SPD to some extent, but I'm willing to wait it out and see where she progresses. As posted before, she certainly does show some traits of being gifted, but also with high anxiety. I've found the more I break away from old school discipline, the more relaxed and less anxious she becomes. I will certainly keep the board posted as we move along. You are all a very caring group of people, and I thank you for taking the time to help me sort this out.
You can always take your daughter for a second opinion with another doctor. Try find one who specializes in neurological disorders. It will be worth the price to put your mind at ease. You also stated you are like your mother. If you mother had issues you may have learned a certain behavior from her, or you maybe on the spectrum. Maybe you would want to see a specialist to rule out or put your mind to rest about yourself. Also write down the stories she tells you, that way you can share them when she is older, and enjoy them together. Hope this makes sense.
I saw those videos and they were nothing like my ASD son was at those ages. I worry that a parent has the stereotypical views of autism, and will ignore more subtle ones for higher functioning kids or Aspergers (As my son has). Anyhow, it wasnt until he was close to 6 that he got diagnosed Aspergers, and I always knew he had his own little issues, wasnt until he got bigger that we knew what they were!
I would err on the cautious side and get an eval, it is free and you have nothing to lose.
good luck!
_________________
Dara, mom to my beautiful kids:
J- 8, diagnosed Aspergers and ADHD possible learning disability due to porcessing speed, born with a cleft lip and palate.
M- 5
M-, who would be 6 1/2, my forever angel baby
E- 1 year old!! !
Ermm....
With the impending merge of autism spectrum disorders under the label "autism," I'm not sure it's wise to get too hung up on specific symptoms.
I'm officially DXed with Aspergers and I had pretend play as a kid. Pretty soon, I will be re-labeled as "autistic" as per the DSM-V, and I will become an autistic who had pretend play.
_________________
"If we fail to anticipate the unforeseen or expect the unexpected in a universe of infinite possibilities, we may find ourselves at the mercy of anyone or anything that cannot be programmed, categorized or easily referenced."
-XFG (no longer a moderator)
With the impending merge of autism spectrum disorders under the label "autism," I'm not sure it's wise to get too hung up on specific symptoms.
I'm officially DXed with Aspergers and I had pretend play as a kid. Pretty soon, I will be re-labeled as "autistic" as per the DSM-V, and I will become an autistic who had pretend play.
Similar Topics | |
---|---|
I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired: a rant about lif |
30 Sep 2024, 8:52 pm |
Just very tired |
17 Sep 2024, 6:05 pm |
Why You’re So Tired |
13 Oct 2024, 12:07 pm |
I am so tired of being heartbroken and used |
23 Sep 2024, 10:26 pm |