My Intent
I think you simply need to try a different approach - something like the "active listening" mentioned before. First, I think people want you to acknowledge their thought process first - for you to say that you understand their thinking, and they had a good idea or starting place. Nobody likes to hear they are wrong or their ideas don't work, so instead of flat-out saying so, you can merely redirect them. Ideally, you want people you are working for in a hands-on situation to feel like they came up with the solution themselves, and you acted as a mentor or teacher, rather than a repairman, e.g.:
"That was a really good idea, I'm sure it is related to the registry...but maybe it would work better if you tried _____________________instead. Let's take a look." (Obvs. this sounds a little fake, you'd have to tweak the language to make it work.)
I've tried it before and you know what, it does work. The problem is breaking old habits.
What if I think the idea sucks though. Am I telling them a lie by saying something is a good idea when it is not? I don't get it.
http://zimmer.csufresno.edu/~larryc/pro ... ction.html
momsparky, I remember my mathematical applications for IT class. I had to do mathematical induction. http://zimmer.csufresno.edu/~larryc/pro ... ction.html
I'm only starting to understand the premises behind it. There are premises that are left out. When this is taught they don't tell you this.
Premise 1. k is a subset out of the set of n which of course is the set of all positive integers.
Premise 2. k abstractly represents one specific number out of n.
Premise 3. It doesn't matter what number I plug into k. It has to prove k + 1 which is a representation of the next number after k which is another subset of n.
Premise 4. k+1 is not a literal formula but an abstract representation of the specific formula I'm supposed to derive from the left side of the equality sign.
Looking at the sequence of numbers on the left side we have 1 + 2 +...n. What comes after 2 in this pattern sequence. It is 3. Let's say the last number is k. To get from 2 to 3 one has to add 1 to 2. In this particular the specific formula to obtain is k + 1. It would not always be the case. If it was going up by the sequence of 2+4+6 it would be k + 2 instead.
Premise 5. The specific formula that is derived from the abstract representation is supposed to be used somehow on the right side.
I'm still working on the rest.
One pattern I have been able to derive about NTs is they have a tendency to leave details out that would make things make more sense to me. Why couldn't my math instructors tell me all of this? Why do NTs use a lot of short hand in mathematics and when they speak?
Some people will drive me to drink
The way the author writes his steps out leaves room to be desired.
What if I think the idea sucks though. Am I telling them a lie by saying something is a good idea when it is not? I don't get it.
You're right, habits are a problem! Just takes practice, though.
In almost every situation, you can find something positive to say that isn't a lie, e.g. "You've clearly put a lot of thought into this" or "That's an interesting way to look at it" or "I can see where you're coming from on this idea" That isn't lying, and it isn't using a loophole: you are trying to move the conversation forward, and you can't do that until you help your client through their frustration.
Seriously though, don't tell him this. I was just joking around with you and trying to use humor and NTs say we don't have a sense of humor. Personally, I say what a crock of crap
Ha. If only I could think of responses like this when I need them.
Yeah, it was a crock. If, with his comment, he was trying to push me toward more normal behavior it didn't work.
This happens to me all the time too. There are a few circumstances where people do not do this because of the formal or legal procedure being followed. But a regular conversation does not follow any thing that I can analyze properly. So I have sort of memorized some phrases that come across as polite light conversation. I get uncomfortable if anyone asks questions beyond that, and then I tend to ask far too many questions and it goes badly. In a learning situation - school, or a job or say a new account at a bank; I get upset and angry when people leave out details that are needed to explain the reality of whatever they're supposed to be telling. When necessary to prevent this problem, I'll bring a list of things that I will ask them to explain. I guess I have come to a point in my life where I avoid situations in which the social aspect always confuses or sidetracks the information or entertainment, etc.
momsparky, please read this and my responses.
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt223625.html
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postx223625-60-0.html
I didn't read the entire thread, but I read your responses. I would say this: does it matter? At this point, the man is dead and nothing can be done - but up to that point, I think it's irrelevant whether someone was evil or not if they committed a crime, unless there are mitigating circumstances that prevented him from being in control of what happened (e.g. insanity to the point of breaking with reality, an out-of-control-car, etc. - in which case, I would expect that those circumstances be addressed.)
We don't really have enough information at the moment to make accurate judgements about this case - but I will say that as a society, we can't ignore murder. I am grateful that the LAPD is at least reopening investigations into the allegations of corruption.
We don't really have enough information at the moment to make accurate judgements about this case - but I will say that as a society, we can't ignore murder. I am grateful that the LAPD is at least reopening investigations into the allegations of corruption.
You're right, we can't ignore murder. I am grateful the LAPD is reopening investigations as well. I do believe the FBI needs to be involved and take control of these investigations.
This is why I do believe my questions do matter? To me, this whole case is icing on the fundamental cake. The thing is I come from a Jewish background. I want to prevent more murders, genocides, etc. I want to help our autism community as a whole. What I am saying is that Socrates was correct in his conclusions.
There are people who see themselves as good and noble yet do evil. What if the cause of a lot of evil in this world is ignorance like Socrates said? Those in the Spanish Inquisition saw themselves as doing God's work. Hitler through his erroneous reasoning and logic saw himself as benefitting the German people. If one is to stop atrocities, war, evil, murders, etc one has to examine and question the beliefs behind a man's actions and a culture's actions.
The bush administration used enchanced interrogation techniques or at least wanted. What was their underlying premises? It is the same with Gorner. What if I was able to question him, his thinking and his belief system. Maybe lives could've been saved.
Sorry, I don't think the cause of evil is ignorance. There are plenty of people who do bad things while understanding exactly what the consequences are. I'd like to stop them, too - but I can tell you from experience, explaining the greater social good to someone who has decided he is in it for himself alone will not help. I think ignorance is an issue, but it is only one of many, and probably not the primary issue.
I do think that better education and less poverty on a global scale will help improve violence, but that is an entirely different thing: people who have choices in life have less of a tendency to try to get ahead by pulling down the people around them.
I do think that better education and less poverty on a global scale will help improve violence, but that is an entirely different thing: people who have choices in life have less of a tendency to try to get ahead by pulling down the people around them.
I wish more people did what you did. If I said this to the average joe these would be the results:
a. I would be cussed out
b. ignored
c. called an idiot
d. told I'm being negative.
On here, if I say something someone disagrees with they just state they disagree and tell me why. It is refreshing.