Where does out and out lying play into Asperger's?

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Im sorry elfman, but I see alot of this on board not just from Parents, but from people on this board. Nobody should define themselves by their labels. Everyone is unique, and has their own wants and needs.Motherofhim Im sorry for going off you last night, but im tired of people's overeacting to autism/AS. IMHO, AS is disabling only if you let it. You need to learn to find ways around your impairments if you want to live a normal life.


I know motherhim wants the best for her son, what parent wouldn't? I just don't like how she blames everything that goes wrong with her son like lying, on AS. This sounds like a seperate issue from AS, however it does need to be addressed. I also think its good they found early, the more they intervene with her son, the more likely he'll be able to succeed.

Im very sorry for going off on you motherofhim, it takes a toll on you to know something is wrong with your child. All your hopes and dreams for your child it seems has been shattered. However, if you beleive in your son, he will believe in himself. Get all the help for him you can now, so he has chance at living a normal life. Don;t let clinical accounts of AS discourgae you.

See when I was little, my parents were told their was no hope for me, I would have to be in institution by the time I was 5. They said I would never be able to function in society. However didn;t believe that, they believed in me, gave me early intervention. Even though, I was in my own world, oblivious to everything, and unable to communicate effectively, generally I was a happy child. Somewhere in my subconcious though I wanted to do something so I can live a semi normal life and make my parents proud. And so far I have done that.

I wish you the best of luck with your son.

Jman

Thankyou for the genuine apology jman.

This is the wish that most parents have; that they do just enough, and not too much.

It would be a lot easier to sit back, ignore the problem, have a martini and say "screw it".....let the young man just be what he wants to be and if that's okay with him, it is okay with me.

However, I do want the best for all kids, Aspie or not. I could have done a lot more in my own life as "just regular folk" were it not for sex, drugs and rock and roll and no one to really give a damn......but that is a whole other story. I feel like Marlon Brando saying "I could have been a contender!.............

We try to do everything we can for our son, no matter how he tries to "outsmart" us, and we always will. He does want to go to college and become a teacher; better than the ones that he has had to "suffer with".

As my son doesn't care to come onto this website, I may as well have called myself Ian's Mom; since there is no reason for me to be anonymous. Ian accepts himself as he is and we do too, we only want him to 'be all the he can be' to use the Army's parlance.

So, Ian gave a beautiful piano recital last week. He loves his lessons and played Guantanamera and the Entertainer extremely well, not even needing the music in front of him. Am I sorry for pestering him to practice? Not one darn bit. He got pestered like any regular kid would be.

Best wishes to all my buds here.

Thank you

Ian's Mom

Part of the problem to me lies in kids being assigned too much homework, particularly in primary school. I think most of the work should be able to be finished in the classroom.

School is tiring for all kids, but especially for AS kids who have to work even harder than most to process their environment. I know that it is important to get assignments done but maybe it is possible to talk to the child's teachers to see if there is some way to hook the assignments into one of their perseverative interests in some way.

I don't know how typical I was of Aspie kids, but I tended to work very hard on subjects that interested me and give up easily on stuff I didn't understand eg. high school maths. I didn't study much but read voraciously so now have a lot of general knowledge.

I had/have many obsessive interests eg.

light poles
moths
caterpillars
frogs and toads
gates
house gables
wishing wells
stained glass and casement windows
praying mantises
fur
cats
collecting music
plus many others.

I have a very hard time lying to others. My Eye-contact starts to shift, I start to sound even more English than I already do, a smile starts to crack, and I always end up laughing hysterically.

I can't lie convincingly.

Hello, I'm new to this board and I just found this thread. I want to reassure the parents who have posted here that the lying may not be a long-term problem.

I lied CONSTANTLY about homework when I was in middle school and high school. I would do well on tests but fail classes because I refused to turn in a single assignment. I drove my parents up the wall.

But I went to college anyway and everything turned around. Suddenly the ability to study only what interested me and pursue it intently made all the mental blocks about doing homework disappear. I knew all along that the reason I wasn't doing my homework was that I didn't see the point, it was complete busy work that taught me nothing, and when it acquired meaning in college suddenly I did it. Now I am in law school (hard to believe for someone who wouldn't do his homework in high school, right?) and I am near the top of my class! So I bet that if your children find what they love and aren't forced to waste time on things that don't matter they can turn out fine. The lying happens because they are forced to do something that they see no purpose in doing.

Oh, and as far as the lying goes, I don't lie at all anymore. In fact, now people criticize me for being too literally truthful about everything.

To answer the topic: Why ask us? We could be lying.

Thank you law and disorder.

That was helpful to hear.

BeeBee

He Can not ! he will addmit all even when I try to make him lie as a game or paly stuff he can not do this. I think we all need to Lie in some cases .
does anyone have any ideas how I can teach him ?

I agree with the comment that kids are likely to tell fibs about their homework if they see no point in it. I also wonder if it is really true that an Aspie kid can "out and out lie". That might be more of the perception of those around them.

I think the problem I noticed as a child, I could lie but the problem lied in the fact that it wasn't just a lie to me like it was to others, I actually believed it and am seeing that in my oldest son now. He actually believes what he says when he lies.

I am one of the good liars! I hate lying and I get lyvid if people lie to me but I learned how to lie. It sometimes was so much easier to just lie to mom then to have to try to get her to understand what I felt. Today (I am 32 going on 33) is the first time my mother every tried to understand AS and how I feel. Because of everything I did upsetting her I lied all the time. The thing is I thought out every contingency and very seldom got caught in the lies. Also, my father was very good at covering for me because he understood.