Do you yell at your children?

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I would keep trying to stop him and maybe yell "No" and grab it out of his hands. I would even keep outlet covers over them but if he knew how to take them off or even still stick things in child prooof outlets, then I'd be screwed.

I have caught my son with scissors and my razor and I never shouted at him. I just would just take it from him because it didn't scare me he had it. But my husband has a emotional reaction when he sees it and runs as if he is in extreme danger while I am calm about it and just walk over to him and take it from him. But with outlets, I would yell because it's lethal or can cause a very serious injury.

I'm sorry about what happened to you. I'm making cognizant steps to minimize screaming/smacking only unless it's absolutely necessary.

Yeah I know, it's driving me nuts that I am forced to do it.

My daughter had a bath and the morning temperature was 4 Celsius, I was frustrated not because she was naked but because I didn't want her catching a cold.

The only other times I smack are when she puts herself in a harmful situation or deliberately confrontational and threatening to break something like the home computer.

If there was any other way I'd consider it. I'm going out on a limb as social services in Australia can take action on parents for smacking.

There are ways to teach your child other than yelling or hitting. I think all that does is create robotic thinking of something bad happening when they do whatever upsets you, it doesn't actually teach them anything. It would be the same for all children, but it's just a bit more complicated with special needs kids. Maybe they need pictures, videos, whatever helps them to communicate. It seems like it's a lot of creative parenting on our part and getting ideas and from others. It is completely normal to get frustrated, I apologize if I was too harsh on my last post. I am new to this site and didn't think about the fact that a lot of parents may be on the spectrum as well. I was abused verbally and physically as a child and am sensitive to the subject, it ruined my childhood and left me with a lot of issues.

Someone mentioned a kid obsessed with light sockets and wanting to stick things in them, this is common behavior with a lot of kids so they make cheap outlet covers. I would still put my hands on the child's shoulders and say no in a firm voice as I shake my head back and forth. Or maybe use picture stories..

I was at a meeting and someone said that their little boy tried running off the lawn and into the street whenever they let him play in the front lawn. They suggested a colorful barrier that he would not be allowed to go past. It might not look great on your lawn, but it seemed like a helpful tool that could be used as a temporary solution as he was still too little to understand the dangers of cars and strangers etc.

again..new to this site, but I think a new thread about creative parenting could be really helpful for all of us if there isn't already one

I think people are a tad idialistic. I feel bad for saying this but you cant just distract and use cue cards on lfa children especially as they get older and are more more advanced cognitively.

My place is fort knox with everything locked away and padlocked. I have to use restraining and hard pressure techniques to calm my lower functioning son or he self harms and attacks his aspie sister. I come off with huge bite marks and bruising but i never yell during his meltdowns. My daughter being the cheeky minx she is during these sessions, will take this oppurtunity to paint with custard, cut sheets with scissors or try to run away in the shops. I have yelled to shock her to stop before using time out for her afterwards.

I don't like yelling but I am one of the best parents I know. If there was a way around it, i would utalise it. It is illegal to lock children in cages though.

EDIT: I don't smack. I have done so only 4 times and that was for running in front of road trains!

Looks like a lot of the comments on this thread are coming from people with no kids. You really have to experience it to know what it's like.

Using someones sensory sensitivities as a means of controlling them is borderline cruel in my opinion.....so if your first approach is always to 'scream' at him when he messes with the outlets I would not agree with that. But as I said I understand not everyone has full control of their emotions at all times and sometimes people get frusterated and yell. I am just saying the thought process 'it hurts my child if I scream at them so I should use that to control them.' would be wrong but I understand not everyones perfect and people yell. as I said if I saw a kid going for an outlet I might yell to because its my immediate reaction.

I dont really feel I am being idealistic.........my mom used to scream at me a lot, if anything it only added to my problems. So naturally I am of the opinion screaming is not a good way to deal with kids but I also realise no ones perfect and everyone yells sometimes so its not like I think if a parent yells they are automatically a bad parent......I just don't think yelling really helps anything. It's just my personal opinion.

Yeah maybe that is because some of us grew up with parents who screamed at us a lot.......so we've experienced the effect it can have on the child. Why should that just be disregarded?

Can say I am an expert but I hear typically if a kid does stick something in the outlet it wont kill/maim them.....is more likely to just scare them. So this could sound like a terrible thing but just throwing out there sometimes doing it once and getting that whole scare is likely to deter them from playing with the outlet. but yeah that's kinda iffy as I am not quite sure the worst that happens if you stick a pin or something in an outlet.

A mother told me a story about one of her sisters sticking two silverware in a outlet and it shocked her and her hands got bloody. Back then they did not have those child proof socket covers because it was the 60s.

you know what I am letting that go.....deleted my response and I'm not going to allow it to effect me. A poster said somethig that pissed me off but I have no hard feelings and I hope they find peace in life.

Last edited by Sweetleaf on 14 May 2012, 10:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I have a lot of perspective on this topic but refuse to contribute because it's an obvious trap, all it does is breed animosity. This thread should be allowed to die and be buried by new threads and forgotten.

Yes, I agree that would be for the best....I'm sorry if I am interpreting this all wrong, but as far as I can tell, nothing is really getting accomplished except bickering back and forth and insults b/tw members. I've mostly been lurking on this thread, but I do apologize for any role I might have had in the downward spiral this thread seems to have taken.

We really are at a point that is non-productive. I know the parents on this board, and not a one would advise that yelling is an optimum solution. But parents are human, and it is impossible to always follow even your own "best practices." Alll parents make mistakes, and most of us already beat ourselves up over each and every one of those mistakes. Piling on more guilt isn't going to help. Just like a parent needs to find the triggers for a child's meltdowns, they need to find the triggers that make it hard for them to follow their own best practices. And that ... isn't going to happen in a message board discussion. It is a matter of self-reflection, and sometimes a matter of being willing and able to ask for help.

I know that words hurt. I know that yelling hurts. If there were any parents who doubted that, they have the feedback. We are here to find what DOES work, and not to dwell on the mistakes that come from being an average, imperfect parent.

So I am going to request the thread be locked.

thread has been locked. please keep it civil, folks. this is a tough conversation to have without feeling attacked or attacking others, but keep in mind we are all imperfect humans.