My Son Just Violently Attacked Me

Post Reply New Topic

that quite resembles an attempt to shoehorn a note of seriousness into another wise (an otherwise) aimless thread wherein insufficient data has been provided by the OP for any further analytical development. normally a thread would die after the last stab at a pertinent reply has occurred, but his thread has stayed alive due to the malleability of it's direction.

one may reply "well.....that's life in the big smoke"
it is difficult to account for the flotsam that washes ashore on any beach, but within it, there is not only worthlessness.

But why did this thread become this thing? It wasn't aimless in the first and second page.

Was it just because of ban-dodger's detour into crystal pyramid tinfoil millinery territory? Or something else?
I sort of wonder what happened with the OP and was thinking there might be an update, but after the thread was hijacked/morphed into random musings about the virtues of child abuse I doubt the OP would be interested in returning here.

Why didn't the people who glommed onto this with all this wierdness just post it on the Random board or start their own threads?

I do believe child abuse is sometimes unintentional. People lose control of their impulse, etc. and also stupidity so they don't know what they are doing is abuse.

But what what I have heard about abuse, abuse is unintentional and of course people will not call any kids abusers if they act abusive and do things that are abuse especially if it's an autistic child having a "meltdown" so they chase someone with a knife or chase their mom around with their hands to scratch them, knocking down doors because they can't beat their sibling and parent's ass, etc. but yet when a parent does it to a child, it's called abuse, even if it's unintentional. This is what I don't get because of the inconsistency. So abuse can be unintentional, oh a parent beat their child because they got mad and they are charged with child abuse but it doesn't matter if it was unintentional. A parent does something they think is good but it turns out to be abuse and they didn't know, it's still called child abuse. Why do we sugarcoat abuse in kids instead of saying the way it is? If a parent had a "meltdown" so they chased their kid with a knife, it would be called child abuse and to hell with meltdowns. The judge wouldn't care, he would still call it child abuse even if the act was unintentional.

I am sure of all the child abuse cases I hear in the media, it is possible a beating of a kid could have been a one time thing a parent did but once is enough for social services, police, and the court. That is something the parent would have to live with for the rest of their life.

Also I once read at Babycenter by someone who's sister is Bipolar so every few years her pills need to be readjusted but over all she is a good mother. but one day her pills needed to be readjusted again and she was waiting to go see a psychiatrist again and her 12 year old did something and the mother got mad so she beat her. The 12 year old got taken and was now staying with her grandparents. It was called child abuse but yet if a Bipolar child did something like this, it wouldn't be called abuse go figure. Strange world we live in.

I know it was unintentional because it was the Bipolar that did it and lot of moms had sympathy about the whole thing and only very few were negative but they did have a good point, what will happen again in another few more years when her pills need to be readjusted and she beats her daughter again during one of her Bipolar phases? A kid is not responsible for their parents actions nor are they responsible for their illness and for accommodating them for their illness. In fact a kid mostly feels they never had a childhood when they have to be accommodating for their parents illness. That is what my therapist told me in high school and I have seen posts online written by people who grew up with a parent with Bipolar or whatever saying how they couldn't be a kid or else it would upset their parents or make it hard for them and stuff would happen. So it was like they had to grow up fast. I am sure the mom felt bad too for beating her 12 year old when she was out of that phase. People were telling the OP to make sure the kid understands that it wasn't her mother that did it, it was the illness that did it. As if they were two different people but I think that is how loved ones look at it to forgive when they do bad things. They separate it.

You mention they hurt you, you hurt them harder, how is this not abuse? What did you mean by hurt? Beating, giving them injuries, harming them, giving them pain? This is hurting. Excuse me if I took you literal if this is not what you meant.




You set limits and rules and enforce them. You don't let them get away with things and be fine with it and then punish them for the same thing other days and then let them get away with it some other days, that will confuse the child and then the parents wonder why their kids never listen or respect them.

If you tell your kid something like if they push another kid again, we are leaving, you leave when the kid does it again, that is being consistent. You follow through what you say. That way the kid knows their limits. If you don't do it, the kid won't listen because they won't think you're serious and if you follow through off and on, that would be very confusing for the child so you follow through all the time.





But I don't think she was serious. I mean how would she pack away all my stuff if she didn't have boxes and it would take her too long to do it and then she would have to unpack it all again. But a nine year old wouldn't know that and I am sure she said it when she got so mad and sometimes parents will say stupid s**t when they are frustrated and then they snap. I have heard of parents saying to their kids that they will put them in a microwave. My mom never said that but then I realized she said other things instead and this was one of them and threatening to spank me until my skin bleeds. But they don't really mean it.

'Tis an absolute travesty that apparently virtually ALL of humanity has NO understanding & is ignorant about the true nature of thoughts & emotions & its role in how they influence everyone's inter-actions in relationships.

Don't even start on that bullocks of psychiatric-medications for children. Television is not science.

Cutting out & boycotting sugars from the boy's diet & supplying him with GOOD nutrition, enough that he's healthy & NOT prone to regurgitating, will have a LOT more benfificial effect that will actually last in the long-run.

The OP is looking for practical advice. What she's getting, unfortunately, is nonsense from folks who seem to think the whole discussion is hypothetical. This is not PPR.

I think this is trolling? I don't think there is anything in particular about the original post that attracted it. It is the sort of post we see a lot, in various forms. I think the off-topic content may have given people the mistaken impression that it was free-for-all.

To the OP:

It sounds quite challenging what you went through, and a scary reality check to the potential vulnerabilities of a having a child with a disability.

Lets look at this from two facets these being:
1: The causation of the event (eg. stress build up)
2: The behaviors learnt that were expressed in that event (eg. swearing and punching)

Its actually a positive thing to have experienced this, because it indicates the potential for more challenging experiences down the track, and from what you've said it looks like you were oblivious to this. Your little man is young, and theres room for influence now that will impact how he responds to events latter on.

It may be constructive to explore where he was exposed to the behaviors expressed, and to run him through in a structured environment more adaptive behaviors he can use to express himself. I am by no means indicating that you are responsible for this, but its important to identify where this behavioral exposure came from and understand how and why its influenced him over other options. That will allow you to teach him better alternatives with time and practice.

In relation to the causation, it sounds indicative of a stressful experience or environment or perhaps a build up of frustration over time. I would caution against adapting the environment to reduce the potential for this to occur again, because that isn't how the world works. However, theres opportunity to explore how your little one does manage stress over time, and what positive activities he can do to reduce that stress. Sometimes its physical exertion, sometimes its listening to some music, sometimes its dancing to music until physically exerted etc. It could really be anything positive thats workable to help him cope with frustration and stress.

I'm on the spectrum, and I also work with children that are much further down the spectrum than me on a part time basis to supplement my studies and income. I've been attacked occasionally, and usually its a result of misunderstanding or frustration. It is manageable, and positive outcomes can be achieved with a smart plan. Mitigating risk (ie weapons/knives) is important in the face of challenging behaviors (those annoying clip lock things to draws are good), but it shouldn't be the focus of your strategy. Bet on your son instead, and see if you can work with him over time to get these behaviors back on track. I would be very cautious in calling the police because it stigmatize and isolate him, and that typically breaks down that barrier of trust you've worked so hard to get. There are solutions, and they require lots of work, but thats part of the job of being a mother of a son with these challenges, and when you pull it off you'll realize its worth it.

I once had a neighbour who was like how you describe your child but I don’t think it was PDDNOS.

In fact severe ADHD and NT Aspergers seems more like it.

She used to regularly shout, scream, throw tantrums, fits, and hit her mother all the time.
She didn’t hit her dad though because he was built like a house.
The thing is, as she got older, and was still an unwanted by product of her parents lovemaking, they all seemed to swear shout, stomp and scream. You would hear the walls shake. (yet she achieved above average grades in science and maths). Job skills pursued with mute dissatisfaction to get a car from her elders.
You would be able to tell the difference between D.I.Y and the verbal abusive atmosphere.

She was lanky, the girl, and needed goats milk for nutrient. Eczema was a prob.
Did I feel sorry for her? Yes, at first. She would do that to her elders, but she wouldn’t show it to outsiders. In fact, muteness was evident. As an older child, I would play with her as she was growing up from a tot into an infant.

I’m wondering if angels and demons can exist in a Neurotypical state of mind.(in this case).
How do you make the pain stop? You can’t.

If loneliness is a big factor between parent and child, with fear of abandonment, I would suggest going to see an adhd cognital special behavioural therapy clinic first. Perhaps a specialist borderline schizophrenic referral test to see if traits are present in the self conscious rapid anger switching behaviour your son is showing.
The earlier it can be detected the better.

Unfortunately, this condition doesn’t go away. Or heal itself.

If the environment can be a key factor in securing a happier relationship, then making living rooms a more neutral place is the safest most passive thing to do, and well, above all else, I’m sorry for your mental and emotional distress.


note: Parents who actively state they want to see the child misbehave so you can teach him/her a lesson is by default wrong and a high risk factor to both the child instincts and the feelings of a parent/legal guardian.
Learning to tread through a fog or swim through a fork in the dark is a hard task but a crucial reminder of inner strength.
If a parent is having a hard time, don’t blame the child for behaving like a pitbull out of its dark unoriginal vortex, but seek help to deal with the minor difficulties before they escalate into physical slashing violence.

"Supernanny, is not a child psychologist but a parental guide for learning to adapt to the child's smaller acts of misbehaviour".

The OP told us that this was very uncharacteristic behavior, i.e. not a regular occurrence.
There is no indication that the kind of calculation suggested by choosing not to hit a dangerous target like father you describe was part of this boy's unusual episode of violent behavior.

Yes, exactly. It is triggered by (or runs concurrent with) episodes of nausea. Police, CPS or any of these harsh comments are not appropriate. There appears to be something medical going on here.

I agree, based on my own experience with my son. And even with people not on the spectrum, when they don't feel good, they get cranky too. I think the OP's son probably is very sensitive to something, or has some neurological issue as well. With my son, it might just be anxiety (the not feeling good, worrying about something bad going to happen, and focusing on the worst case scenarios).


Spiderpig... you and I have obviously vastly different life experiences and incredibly opposing worldviews. I am for non-violence, including with children. Especially with children. Just because "everything turned out fine" doesn't mean what happened was right. I'm still dealing with the problems from my childhood.

Fascinating.

Could be Demons. I suggest you get your house blessed.

You can sprinkle plain salt around the house.

Also Aspies tend to be Night Owls. You'll have to adapt to that, not him.

Please don't put him on ADHD meds.

I recently saw this documentary on CBC's the fifth estate titled 'The Boy Who Should Have Lived'.

http://www.cbc.ca/fifth/episodes/2014-2 ... have-lived

It's about a 12 yr. old boy who was not acting right and he was sent to the Dr's. He was put on ADHD drugs.

He was doing fine before Kindergarten/Grade 1 but after that he had several meltdowns.

the program doesn't mention Autism, but I feel this is what the boy had.

He hung himself in 2014 because the system let him down.

Please don't let this happen to your son.