How do you disipline a child who has Asperger's?

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Vivienne
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25 Jan 2010, 10:42 pm


Vivienne, have you been able to solve your problem? - PenguinMom


To let you know, I've read each and every one of your replies, and they've all made sense to me. Now I've taken the replies that would make the best sense to my son. Every kid is different, so naturally some of the ideas would work with him, and some could work with another child.

For now, the bed jumping behaviour has halted.

One thing mentioned was;

It seems to me that you're focusing on giving him negative consequences for his actions too much. Try changing his behaviours by using positive reinforcement. .... The reward could also be something like playing a board game or going to the playground or reading a book. Use what your son likes to form the rewards....

Thank you for saying that!!
Until I came back here and re-read these posts I hadn't realized that he'd stopped jumping on my bed!! Life is so hectic and honestly I didn't think about it since he wasn't doing it anymore. This is a real check for me, I need to be able to remember the behaviours I've been hoping he'd change and then notice if he's changed them! It's such a simple concept, yet I've totally dropped the ball.

I am a firm believer in positive reinforcement. ESPECIALLY since his self-esteem is woefully fragile for a seven yr old.

And with the new baby, spending some time with him would be exactly the right kind of reinforcement!

So yes he stopped, I don't know why exactly, but I suspect it was the repetition. It's been about a year since I got the bed. So a year of reminders and maybe he's assimilated that request now.
Dunno.

Discipline tactics:

What works best with my girl is to count - Penguin Mom

Yes. This works well for me. I use it when I am really, really mad. He knows this. He gets to the count of three and then if he hasn't started doing what I ask the punishment is coming. I think he fears the counting more than the punishment! Once reason I suspect counting works so well is that it gives him a firm, concrete sense of time. Something he doesn't usually have. I asked him to get dressed 20 minutes ago and he's still sitting on the floor not dressed. But he doesn't know it's been 20 minutes. He doesn't know that I'd still be patient at 5 minutes in. 10 minutes in.
Counting gives him a definite sense of the time passing, which he can translate into how fast he has to move in order to stay out of trouble.

Counting works well, I'd recommend it.

Rasperries

leschevalsroses-The solution to this would be to ignore him.


Again, good advice and a good reminder. Upon reflection I realize I've been negatively reinforcing his behaviour on this matter. I always notice it, and I always get mad. I will put more effort into praising him when he's NOT doing it, and ignoring it if he does do it.

It's really hard to remember all this sometimes.

He's also started sucking his thumb at school. A new challenge! man...


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DW_a_mom
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26 Jan 2010, 4:55 pm

Vivienne wrote:

He's also started sucking his thumb at school. A new challenge! man...



This may be an oral stim, a way of self-calming and staying focused. Many kids chew shirt sleeves or necklines, or chew on their hands. In K it may be OK to send him to school with a chew necklace; at older ages a soft ruler (but watch for PCBs) or straws (they are meant to be in one's mouth) make good chew / sucking tools. My son still chews the tops off of all his pencils - he goes through pencils so fast that I now buy those cheap little golf pencils. At home we hand him straws when he needs to chew. At school he often chews on his own tongue. Basically, you're looking at redirection with this one.


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27 Jan 2010, 12:22 pm

DW_a_mom wrote:
Vivienne wrote:

He's also started sucking his thumb at school. A new challenge! man...



This may be an oral stim, a way of self-calming and staying focused. Many kids chew shirt sleeves or necklines, or chew on their hands. In K it may be OK to send him to school with a chew necklace; at older ages a soft ruler (but watch for PCBs) or straws (they are meant to be in one's mouth) make good chew / sucking tools. My son still chews the tops off of all his pencils - he goes through pencils so fast that I now buy those cheap little golf pencils. At home we hand him straws when he needs to chew. At school he often chews on his own tongue. Basically, you're looking at redirection with this one.


Oh! Just had an "aha" moment, thank you! I was wondering what my daughter's self-calming method was because she didn't seem to have one, but it may be oral stimulation. She frequently chews her shirt neckline, her hair, and gum whenever I'll let her have some. I don't want to hijack the thread but I had to butt in and say thanks. :D



gramirez
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27 Jan 2010, 12:58 pm

Just throwing this out there, but perhaps this thread should be made a sticky? That way it would be easier for newcomers to find this useful information. :)


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leschevalsroses
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27 Jan 2010, 1:05 pm

I'm so pleased everything worked out for you Vivienne. It's great how thoughtful you are with your parenting skills- really thinking about your reaction towards your child's behavior is such a good parenting technique that few parents think about. Your son's very lucky!