My dad made me jaywalk across busy oilfield road.
funeralxempire
Veteran
Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 39
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 29,113
Location: Right over your left shoulder
21 Dec 2021, 10:28 pm
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
This is one of the reasons I support a well-funded social safety net even if it means people's taxes go up, even if it means my taxes go up.
You shouldn't have to wait in an abusive situation, hoping you're not harmed while waiting to collect the inheritance that's your only viable option to avoid homelessness. You should have options beyond 'end up homeless' or 'wait it out and hope for the best'.
You shouldn't have to wait in an abusive situation, hoping you're not harmed while waiting to collect the inheritance that's your only viable option to avoid homelessness. You should have options beyond 'end up homeless' or 'wait it out and hope for the best'.
Ya well i am trying to start a intentional community to give myself a place to live on the cheap with some friends since I cant afford apartment or house.I am trying to see if i can legally do that as someone on medicaid.Because I would only need 50 to 100 acres tops so I can live off the land since I cant afford anything to eat.there definatley more should be done for us people on the spectrum safety-net wise.Lets just Hope and pray if you feel like it that I dont get Lee Harvey Oswald'd in the head accidently while I wait to collect the inheritance.
Keep in mind though, lots of people can be in similarly vulnerable situations and not have ASD, but even if someone doesn't have any recognized disability they might still be in a similarly vulnerable situation where they're kept in the orbit of an abuser because they don't have a viable option to leave.
If that person doesn't have any disabilities they'll probably be able to join the work force and ultimately contribute back to the economy if they're helped to get out of the situation.
If they have disabilities they should have been getting help all along, and might potentially be able to join the work force and ultimately contribute back to the economy if they're helped to get out of the situation.
Either way in the long term the end result is good for the individual and the society.
Since that isn't an option, would your church be willing to help? Would another church of the same denomination or even of another one be an option?
The more details you share the more this seems like a big deal and not just a toxic relationship that's unpleasant but tolerable if need be. You don't point loaded guns at things you're not willing to see get shot, right? That's a big red flag in most people's books.
_________________
"Many of us like to ask ourselves, What would I do if I was alive during slavery? Or the Jim Crow South? Or apartheid? What would I do if my country was committing genocide?' The answer is, you're doing it. Right now." —Former U.S. Airman (Air Force) Aaron Bushnell
21 Dec 2021, 10:30 pm
Sweetleaf wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
This is one of the reasons I support a well-funded social safety net even if it means people's taxes go up, even if it means my taxes go up.
You shouldn't have to wait in an abusive situation, hoping you're not harmed while waiting to collect the inheritance that's your only viable option to avoid homelessness. You should have options beyond 'end up homeless' or 'wait it out and hope for the best'.
You shouldn't have to wait in an abusive situation, hoping you're not harmed while waiting to collect the inheritance that's your only viable option to avoid homelessness. You should have options beyond 'end up homeless' or 'wait it out and hope for the best'.
Ya well i am trying to start a intentional community to give myself a place to live on the cheap with some friends since I cant afford apartment or house.I am trying to see if i can legally do that as someone on medicaid.Because I would only need 50 to 100 acres tops so I can live off the land since I cant afford anything to eat.there definatley more should be done for us people on the spectrum safety-net wise.Lets just Hope and pray if you feel like it that I dont get Lee Harvey Oswald'd in the head accidently while I wait to collect the inheritance.
Yeah, you maybe could split rent with those friends, being on medicaid shouldn't be a problem for that. Seriously though if it's really that bad the sooner you can get out the better.
Maybe I should talk to Dr Phil about this sometime or Dr Grande to see see what they think.
21 Dec 2021, 10:38 pm
funeralxempire wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
This is one of the reasons I support a well-funded social safety net even if it means people's taxes go up, even if it means my taxes go up.
You shouldn't have to wait in an abusive situation, hoping you're not harmed while waiting to collect the inheritance that's your only viable option to avoid homelessness. You should have options beyond 'end up homeless' or 'wait it out and hope for the best'.
You shouldn't have to wait in an abusive situation, hoping you're not harmed while waiting to collect the inheritance that's your only viable option to avoid homelessness. You should have options beyond 'end up homeless' or 'wait it out and hope for the best'.
Ya well i am trying to start a intentional community to give myself a place to live on the cheap with some friends since I cant afford apartment or house.I am trying to see if i can legally do that as someone on medicaid.Because I would only need 50 to 100 acres tops so I can live off the land since I cant afford anything to eat.there definatley more should be done for us people on the spectrum safety-net wise.Lets just Hope and pray if you feel like it that I dont get Lee Harvey Oswald'd in the head accidently while I wait to collect the inheritance.
Keep in mind though, lots of people can be in similarly vulnerable situations and not have ASD, but even if someone doesn't have any recognized disability they might still be in a similarly vulnerable situation where they're kept in the orbit of an abuser because they don't have a viable option to leave.
If that person doesn't have any disabilities they'll probably be able to join the work force and ultimately contribute back to the economy if they're helped to get out of the situation.
If they have disabilities they should have been getting help all along, and might potentially be able to join the work force and ultimately contribute back to the economy if they're helped to get out of the situation.
Either way in the long term the end result is good for the individual and the society.
Since that isn't an option, would your church be willing to help? Would another church of the same denomination or even of another one be an option?
The more details you share the more this seems like a big deal and not just a toxic relationship that's unpleasant but tolerable if need be. You don't point loaded guns at things you're not willing to see get shot, right? That's a big red flag in most people's books.
Ya thats NRA Gun Safety 101 so he acted like he was willing to JFK me in the head with his sniper rifle at point range
on accident.He also pointed it at his head later so maybe it was going to be a murder-suicide and I warned it was pointed at his head and he acted like he did not know or did not realize it.I am putting my own church of Christ together that will really be focused on helping the poor and homeless and giving them help.I am just trying to determine if I can legally do that as someone on Medicaid.No I have nobody to turn to.My church wont help me and neither will my mulit-millionaire grandmother or my millionaire grandparents or my billionaire cousins or my oil multi-millionaire aunts and uncle.I do have a friend who comes from famous billionaire family but I dont want to risk ruining my reputation in the oilfield because I am screwed if that happens.My dad is a church politician and church officer and church leader who is part of the church administration and leadership.My dad helps decide who gets help from the church.i am just going to start my church whenever I can by the age of 35 to 40 hopefully.I cant say say anything bad to anyone in the community or i will get disowned or disinherited and kicked forever for speaking bad about my family.
22 Dec 2021, 1:36 am
My parents in some ways run my house like a boot-camp. In other ways, they are very relaxed.
I have to do certain household chores like mow the lawn regularly in the summer & hoover the house every week when I am physically able. I get treated like a 5 year old when I go shopping with my Mum, who will scream at me if I am not ready within like 15 minutes of an allotted time for getting a ride in her car.
I am not allowed to make any mess, anywhere - and if I leave a drip of water on the kitchen's work surfaces, I get an absolute earful. I have to immediately put any dishes or glasses in the dishwasher, there is no room for leaving things about.
I must shower every day, if I do not, I am told I "stink like s**t".
If I leave a pair of underwear for a few hours in the bathroom, my Mum, specifically, will be at me like a vicious dog. If I have a shave and there is a single whisker from my facial hair on the sink, again, she goes crazy.
She is also very controlling in many aspects that are too long to list here.
I am constantly asked what I am producing. There is not a single day that goes by where I am not asked what I have done, and have to list everything productive I have done or will be doing, in detail.
The upside to all of this is that:
- I can get up out of bed when I wish
- I get 1 or 2 free rides per week in my Mum's car
- I don't pay rent, only for my food (which is costly, since I eat a lot nowadays)
- I have anxiety disorder and if I am left alone, in my own company, I descend into a kind of madness, jumping at every sound or vehicle outside of the house. My parents being present is incredibly helpful for soothing anxiety. I think of them as allies in an army - they approach the dangers first, I am behind them in a worst case scenario.
- I will probably benefit from their assets, some day
Just a few of the reasons why unhealthy situations can actually also, be very healthy at the same time.
Overall, I am appreciative of my parents. I would be worse off without them. That is for me to decide, not other people.
22 Dec 2021, 2:24 am
blitzkrieg wrote:
My parents in some ways run my house like a boot-camp. In other ways, they are very relaxed.
I have to do certain household chores like mow the lawn regularly in the summer & hoover the house every week when I am physically able. I get treated like a 5 year old when I go shopping with my Mum, who will scream at me if I am not ready within like 15 minutes of an allotted time for getting a ride in her car.
I am not allowed to make any mess, anywhere - and if I leave a drip of water on the kitchen's work surfaces, I get an absolute earful. I have to immediately put any dishes or glasses in the dishwasher, there is no room for leaving things about.
I must shower every day, if I do not, I am told I "stink like s**t".
If I leave a pair of underwear for a few hours in the bathroom, my Mum, specifically, will be at me like a vicious dog. If I have a shave and there is a single whisker from my facial hair on the sink, again, she goes crazy.
She is also very controlling in many aspects that are too long to list here.
I am constantly asked what I am producing. There is not a single day that goes by where I am not asked what I have done, and have to list everything productive I have done or will be doing, in detail.
The upside to all of this is that:
- I can get up out of bed when I wish
- I get 1 or 2 free rides per week in my Mum's car
- I don't pay rent, only for my food (which is costly, since I eat a lot nowadays)
- I have anxiety disorder and if I am left alone, in my own company, I descend into a kind of madness, jumping at every sound or vehicle outside of the house. My parents being present is incredibly helpful for soothing anxiety. I think of them as allies in an army - they approach the dangers first, I am behind them in a worst case scenario.
- I will probably benefit from their assets, some day
Just a few of the reasons why unhealthy situations can actually also, be very healthy at the same time.
Overall, I am appreciative of my parents. I would be worse off without them. That is for me to decide, not other people.
I have to do certain household chores like mow the lawn regularly in the summer & hoover the house every week when I am physically able. I get treated like a 5 year old when I go shopping with my Mum, who will scream at me if I am not ready within like 15 minutes of an allotted time for getting a ride in her car.
I am not allowed to make any mess, anywhere - and if I leave a drip of water on the kitchen's work surfaces, I get an absolute earful. I have to immediately put any dishes or glasses in the dishwasher, there is no room for leaving things about.
I must shower every day, if I do not, I am told I "stink like s**t".
If I leave a pair of underwear for a few hours in the bathroom, my Mum, specifically, will be at me like a vicious dog. If I have a shave and there is a single whisker from my facial hair on the sink, again, she goes crazy.
She is also very controlling in many aspects that are too long to list here.
I am constantly asked what I am producing. There is not a single day that goes by where I am not asked what I have done, and have to list everything productive I have done or will be doing, in detail.
The upside to all of this is that:
- I can get up out of bed when I wish
- I get 1 or 2 free rides per week in my Mum's car
- I don't pay rent, only for my food (which is costly, since I eat a lot nowadays)
- I have anxiety disorder and if I am left alone, in my own company, I descend into a kind of madness, jumping at every sound or vehicle outside of the house. My parents being present is incredibly helpful for soothing anxiety. I think of them as allies in an army - they approach the dangers first, I am behind them in a worst case scenario.
- I will probably benefit from their assets, some day
Just a few of the reasons why unhealthy situations can actually also, be very healthy at the same time.
Overall, I am appreciative of my parents. I would be worse off without them. That is for me to decide, not other people.
Ya your right it could be much worse like I could be homeless and homeless starving in India or Africa so there's that.
22 Dec 2021, 2:37 am
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
My parents in some ways run my house like a boot-camp. In other ways, they are very relaxed.
I have to do certain household chores like mow the lawn regularly in the summer & hoover the house every week when I am physically able. I get treated like a 5 year old when I go shopping with my Mum, who will scream at me if I am not ready within like 15 minutes of an allotted time for getting a ride in her car.
I am not allowed to make any mess, anywhere - and if I leave a drip of water on the kitchen's work surfaces, I get an absolute earful. I have to immediately put any dishes or glasses in the dishwasher, there is no room for leaving things about.
I must shower every day, if I do not, I am told I "stink like s**t".
If I leave a pair of underwear for a few hours in the bathroom, my Mum, specifically, will be at me like a vicious dog. If I have a shave and there is a single whisker from my facial hair on the sink, again, she goes crazy.
She is also very controlling in many aspects that are too long to list here.
I am constantly asked what I am producing. There is not a single day that goes by where I am not asked what I have done, and have to list everything productive I have done or will be doing, in detail.
The upside to all of this is that:
- I can get up out of bed when I wish
- I get 1 or 2 free rides per week in my Mum's car
- I don't pay rent, only for my food (which is costly, since I eat a lot nowadays)
- I have anxiety disorder and if I am left alone, in my own company, I descend into a kind of madness, jumping at every sound or vehicle outside of the house. My parents being present is incredibly helpful for soothing anxiety. I think of them as allies in an army - they approach the dangers first, I am behind them in a worst case scenario.
- I will probably benefit from their assets, some day
Just a few of the reasons why unhealthy situations can actually also, be very healthy at the same time.
Overall, I am appreciative of my parents. I would be worse off without them. That is for me to decide, not other people.
I have to do certain household chores like mow the lawn regularly in the summer & hoover the house every week when I am physically able. I get treated like a 5 year old when I go shopping with my Mum, who will scream at me if I am not ready within like 15 minutes of an allotted time for getting a ride in her car.
I am not allowed to make any mess, anywhere - and if I leave a drip of water on the kitchen's work surfaces, I get an absolute earful. I have to immediately put any dishes or glasses in the dishwasher, there is no room for leaving things about.
I must shower every day, if I do not, I am told I "stink like s**t".
If I leave a pair of underwear for a few hours in the bathroom, my Mum, specifically, will be at me like a vicious dog. If I have a shave and there is a single whisker from my facial hair on the sink, again, she goes crazy.
She is also very controlling in many aspects that are too long to list here.
I am constantly asked what I am producing. There is not a single day that goes by where I am not asked what I have done, and have to list everything productive I have done or will be doing, in detail.
The upside to all of this is that:
- I can get up out of bed when I wish
- I get 1 or 2 free rides per week in my Mum's car
- I don't pay rent, only for my food (which is costly, since I eat a lot nowadays)
- I have anxiety disorder and if I am left alone, in my own company, I descend into a kind of madness, jumping at every sound or vehicle outside of the house. My parents being present is incredibly helpful for soothing anxiety. I think of them as allies in an army - they approach the dangers first, I am behind them in a worst case scenario.
- I will probably benefit from their assets, some day
Just a few of the reasons why unhealthy situations can actually also, be very healthy at the same time.
Overall, I am appreciative of my parents. I would be worse off without them. That is for me to decide, not other people.
Ya your right it could be much worse like I could be homeless and homeless starving in India or Africa so there's that.
Right.
Also, if your parents are strict with you as an Autistic person, it is actually helpful for long-term success in my opinion.
22 Dec 2021, 2:57 am
blitzkrieg wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
My parents in some ways run my house like a boot-camp. In other ways, they are very relaxed.
I have to do certain household chores like mow the lawn regularly in the summer & hoover the house every week when I am physically able. I get treated like a 5 year old when I go shopping with my Mum, who will scream at me if I am not ready within like 15 minutes of an allotted time for getting a ride in her car.
I am not allowed to make any mess, anywhere - and if I leave a drip of water on the kitchen's work surfaces, I get an absolute earful. I have to immediately put any dishes or glasses in the dishwasher, there is no room for leaving things about.
I must shower every day, if I do not, I am told I "stink like s**t".
If I leave a pair of underwear for a few hours in the bathroom, my Mum, specifically, will be at me like a vicious dog. If I have a shave and there is a single whisker from my facial hair on the sink, again, she goes crazy.
She is also very controlling in many aspects that are too long to list here.
I am constantly asked what I am producing. There is not a single day that goes by where I am not asked what I have done, and have to list everything productive I have done or will be doing, in detail.
The upside to all of this is that:
- I can get up out of bed when I wish
- I get 1 or 2 free rides per week in my Mum's car
- I don't pay rent, only for my food (which is costly, since I eat a lot nowadays)
- I have anxiety disorder and if I am left alone, in my own company, I descend into a kind of madness, jumping at every sound or vehicle outside of the house. My parents being present is incredibly helpful for soothing anxiety. I think of them as allies in an army - they approach the dangers first, I am behind them in a worst case scenario.
- I will probably benefit from their assets, some day
Just a few of the reasons why unhealthy situations can actually also, be very healthy at the same time.
Overall, I am appreciative of my parents. I would be worse off without them. That is for me to decide, not other people.
I have to do certain household chores like mow the lawn regularly in the summer & hoover the house every week when I am physically able. I get treated like a 5 year old when I go shopping with my Mum, who will scream at me if I am not ready within like 15 minutes of an allotted time for getting a ride in her car.
I am not allowed to make any mess, anywhere - and if I leave a drip of water on the kitchen's work surfaces, I get an absolute earful. I have to immediately put any dishes or glasses in the dishwasher, there is no room for leaving things about.
I must shower every day, if I do not, I am told I "stink like s**t".
If I leave a pair of underwear for a few hours in the bathroom, my Mum, specifically, will be at me like a vicious dog. If I have a shave and there is a single whisker from my facial hair on the sink, again, she goes crazy.
She is also very controlling in many aspects that are too long to list here.
I am constantly asked what I am producing. There is not a single day that goes by where I am not asked what I have done, and have to list everything productive I have done or will be doing, in detail.
The upside to all of this is that:
- I can get up out of bed when I wish
- I get 1 or 2 free rides per week in my Mum's car
- I don't pay rent, only for my food (which is costly, since I eat a lot nowadays)
- I have anxiety disorder and if I am left alone, in my own company, I descend into a kind of madness, jumping at every sound or vehicle outside of the house. My parents being present is incredibly helpful for soothing anxiety. I think of them as allies in an army - they approach the dangers first, I am behind them in a worst case scenario.
- I will probably benefit from their assets, some day
Just a few of the reasons why unhealthy situations can actually also, be very healthy at the same time.
Overall, I am appreciative of my parents. I would be worse off without them. That is for me to decide, not other people.
Ya your right it could be much worse like I could be homeless and homeless starving in India or Africa so there's that.
Right.
Also, if your parents are strict with you as an Autistic person, it is actually helpful for long-term success in my opinion.
I agree.Him being so strict is prolly since his dad was in the military.But I would give anything to just be a millennial with normal amounts of freedom in their parents house like most other millennials but oh well.
22 Dec 2021, 3:07 am
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
My parents in some ways run my house like a boot-camp. In other ways, they are very relaxed.
I have to do certain household chores like mow the lawn regularly in the summer & hoover the house every week when I am physically able. I get treated like a 5 year old when I go shopping with my Mum, who will scream at me if I am not ready within like 15 minutes of an allotted time for getting a ride in her car.
I am not allowed to make any mess, anywhere - and if I leave a drip of water on the kitchen's work surfaces, I get an absolute earful. I have to immediately put any dishes or glasses in the dishwasher, there is no room for leaving things about.
I must shower every day, if I do not, I am told I "stink like s**t".
If I leave a pair of underwear for a few hours in the bathroom, my Mum, specifically, will be at me like a vicious dog. If I have a shave and there is a single whisker from my facial hair on the sink, again, she goes crazy.
She is also very controlling in many aspects that are too long to list here.
I am constantly asked what I am producing. There is not a single day that goes by where I am not asked what I have done, and have to list everything productive I have done or will be doing, in detail.
The upside to all of this is that:
- I can get up out of bed when I wish
- I get 1 or 2 free rides per week in my Mum's car
- I don't pay rent, only for my food (which is costly, since I eat a lot nowadays)
- I have anxiety disorder and if I am left alone, in my own company, I descend into a kind of madness, jumping at every sound or vehicle outside of the house. My parents being present is incredibly helpful for soothing anxiety. I think of them as allies in an army - they approach the dangers first, I am behind them in a worst case scenario.
- I will probably benefit from their assets, some day
Just a few of the reasons why unhealthy situations can actually also, be very healthy at the same time.
Overall, I am appreciative of my parents. I would be worse off without them. That is for me to decide, not other people.
I have to do certain household chores like mow the lawn regularly in the summer & hoover the house every week when I am physically able. I get treated like a 5 year old when I go shopping with my Mum, who will scream at me if I am not ready within like 15 minutes of an allotted time for getting a ride in her car.
I am not allowed to make any mess, anywhere - and if I leave a drip of water on the kitchen's work surfaces, I get an absolute earful. I have to immediately put any dishes or glasses in the dishwasher, there is no room for leaving things about.
I must shower every day, if I do not, I am told I "stink like s**t".
If I leave a pair of underwear for a few hours in the bathroom, my Mum, specifically, will be at me like a vicious dog. If I have a shave and there is a single whisker from my facial hair on the sink, again, she goes crazy.
She is also very controlling in many aspects that are too long to list here.
I am constantly asked what I am producing. There is not a single day that goes by where I am not asked what I have done, and have to list everything productive I have done or will be doing, in detail.
The upside to all of this is that:
- I can get up out of bed when I wish
- I get 1 or 2 free rides per week in my Mum's car
- I don't pay rent, only for my food (which is costly, since I eat a lot nowadays)
- I have anxiety disorder and if I am left alone, in my own company, I descend into a kind of madness, jumping at every sound or vehicle outside of the house. My parents being present is incredibly helpful for soothing anxiety. I think of them as allies in an army - they approach the dangers first, I am behind them in a worst case scenario.
- I will probably benefit from their assets, some day
Just a few of the reasons why unhealthy situations can actually also, be very healthy at the same time.
Overall, I am appreciative of my parents. I would be worse off without them. That is for me to decide, not other people.
Ya your right it could be much worse like I could be homeless and homeless starving in India or Africa so there's that.
Right.
Also, if your parents are strict with you as an Autistic person, it is actually helpful for long-term success in my opinion.
I agree.Him being so strict is prolly since his dad was in the military.But I would give anything to just be a millennial with normal amounts of freedom in their parents house like most other millennials but oh well.
Personally, if I had too much freedom, I would probably just default to Autistic mode and end up being less productive, without my parents background pressure. Especially considering I have 5 other disabilites (no exaggeration).
I am glad I have boomer influence. Though I am not glad about the economy that is rigged against millenials, where hard work does not pay off.
22 Dec 2021, 3:57 am
blitzkrieg wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
My parents in some ways run my house like a boot-camp. In other ways, they are very relaxed.
I have to do certain household chores like mow the lawn regularly in the summer & hoover the house every week when I am physically able. I get treated like a 5 year old when I go shopping with my Mum, who will scream at me if I am not ready within like 15 minutes of an allotted time for getting a ride in her car.
I am not allowed to make any mess, anywhere - and if I leave a drip of water on the kitchen's work surfaces, I get an absolute earful. I have to immediately put any dishes or glasses in the dishwasher, there is no room for leaving things about.
I must shower every day, if I do not, I am told I "stink like s**t".
If I leave a pair of underwear for a few hours in the bathroom, my Mum, specifically, will be at me like a vicious dog. If I have a shave and there is a single whisker from my facial hair on the sink, again, she goes crazy.
She is also very controlling in many aspects that are too long to list here.
I am constantly asked what I am producing. There is not a single day that goes by where I am not asked what I have done, and have to list everything productive I have done or will be doing, in detail.
The upside to all of this is that:
- I can get up out of bed when I wish
- I get 1 or 2 free rides per week in my Mum's car
- I don't pay rent, only for my food (which is costly, since I eat a lot nowadays)
- I have anxiety disorder and if I am left alone, in my own company, I descend into a kind of madness, jumping at every sound or vehicle outside of the house. My parents being present is incredibly helpful for soothing anxiety. I think of them as allies in an army - they approach the dangers first, I am behind them in a worst case scenario.
- I will probably benefit from their assets, some day
Just a few of the reasons why unhealthy situations can actually also, be very healthy at the same time.
Overall, I am appreciative of my parents. I would be worse off without them. That is for me to decide, not other people.
I have to do certain household chores like mow the lawn regularly in the summer & hoover the house every week when I am physically able. I get treated like a 5 year old when I go shopping with my Mum, who will scream at me if I am not ready within like 15 minutes of an allotted time for getting a ride in her car.
I am not allowed to make any mess, anywhere - and if I leave a drip of water on the kitchen's work surfaces, I get an absolute earful. I have to immediately put any dishes or glasses in the dishwasher, there is no room for leaving things about.
I must shower every day, if I do not, I am told I "stink like s**t".
If I leave a pair of underwear for a few hours in the bathroom, my Mum, specifically, will be at me like a vicious dog. If I have a shave and there is a single whisker from my facial hair on the sink, again, she goes crazy.
She is also very controlling in many aspects that are too long to list here.
I am constantly asked what I am producing. There is not a single day that goes by where I am not asked what I have done, and have to list everything productive I have done or will be doing, in detail.
The upside to all of this is that:
- I can get up out of bed when I wish
- I get 1 or 2 free rides per week in my Mum's car
- I don't pay rent, only for my food (which is costly, since I eat a lot nowadays)
- I have anxiety disorder and if I am left alone, in my own company, I descend into a kind of madness, jumping at every sound or vehicle outside of the house. My parents being present is incredibly helpful for soothing anxiety. I think of them as allies in an army - they approach the dangers first, I am behind them in a worst case scenario.
- I will probably benefit from their assets, some day
Just a few of the reasons why unhealthy situations can actually also, be very healthy at the same time.
Overall, I am appreciative of my parents. I would be worse off without them. That is for me to decide, not other people.
Ya your right it could be much worse like I could be homeless and homeless starving in India or Africa so there's that.
Right.
Also, if your parents are strict with you as an Autistic person, it is actually helpful for long-term success in my opinion.
I agree.Him being so strict is prolly since his dad was in the military.But I would give anything to just be a millennial with normal amounts of freedom in their parents house like most other millennials but oh well.
Personally, if I had too much freedom, I would probably just default to Autistic mode and end up being less productive, without my parents background pressure. Especially considering I have 5 other disabilites (no exaggeration).
I am glad I have boomer influence. Though I am not glad about the economy that is rigged against millenials, where hard work does not pay off.
Well I am kind of the opposite because I would work non-stop 24/7 on the top of a drilling rig for 40 years in 0 degree weather or 120 degree weather if it meant I could have own 30-year mortgage and a wife and kids.Ya I think hard work can pay off for some millennials like if they would get their debt under control and dollar cost average into the stock market and get on the Dave Ramsey plan.I think every nueotypical able-bodied millennial and gen z could retire a millionaire if they were willing to work till they were 70 or 80 and then they could have their own little paid-off house even with a McJob like Earl Crawley.But the Baby Boomers sold us a bill of goods because the 1950's American Dream is dead and gone forever if it means an affordable 30 year mortage in every area of the country and being able to send your kids to college and going on a 1 week vacation every year or even being able to afford a husband or wife and 3 kids and having a pension and being able to afford healthcare.I think millennials should at least be paid the same as baby boomers if they have a degree.Also I think they should ban most entry-level jobs from having 5 to 10 years of experience in the work force.I kind of wish we still had unions to give the working man a decent life.But really i never reaally wanted the American Dream of a 30-year mortgage and a steady 40 year job with a pension and a McMansion in my heart of hearts because I learn and earn differently and i always wanted to live the rest of my life in a commune.
22 Dec 2021, 10:09 am
Millennials have it harder than boomers did. A lot harder in terms of the economy.
But in my opinion, a lot of millenials lack work ethic & make things worse for themselves. It doesn't help that millenials seem to be in awful condition, in terms of their health generally. My health deteriorated significantly after some vaccines in 2005, but also to a lesser extent with some other vaccines I had before then.
I had a lot of vaccines as a kid. Probably like 10? My parents never questioned it. I broke out with Tourette's Syndrome after a bunch of vaccines at age 6 and then the tics got worse after more vaccines at age 7.
I think the internet makes people less 'wired' to the 'real' world as opposed to the 'digital' world. People become addicted to and invested in social media & because of that, they don't even have the agency to 'achieve' anything substantial in a lot of cases, even if they very intelligent & capable. Social media is basically cancer if you use it improperly and without restraint.
Um, add to that everybody seems to have a victim complex. I have had a difficult life & have been 'put through the ringer' pretty hard. But then I hear about people complaining about a trigger word? How do people expect be successful if they are caught up in emotionalism regarding language?
The biggest barrier for a lot of people to success is learning how to control:
a) attention and where it directed and
b) their emotions
If people are emotionally unhealthy all of the time, they are not going to succeed.
There are things that people can't control, like a bad economy that might make them unhappy. Ultimately though you can be happy with minimal material worth if you know how to be.
22 Dec 2021, 10:23 am
The average IQ in western countries is easily high enough to make a living. People just lack executive function management skills, that's the main issue affecting millenials, not a lack of intelligence.
I have been lucky because I have endured brutal living conditions that have forced executive function improvement - that probably wouldn't have developed otherwise.
22 Dec 2021, 10:28 am
blitzkrieg wrote:
... I have been lucky because I have endured brutal living conditions that have forced executive function improvement -- that probably wouldn't have developed otherwise.
Same here. People who have been coddled all their lives may not have developed coping skills for unusual situations that do not require social interaction.For instance, a person who has been forced to live on the streets might be better able to survive a natural disaster than a person who has lived in mansions all his life.
22 Dec 2021, 7:10 pm
Well dad threatened to kick me out and take away all social media and our computer forever because I said one profane word in a status update on my facebook and my dad cusses all the time in rel life. I wish I did not have to be hugged and kissed all the time by my dad but its legal.The cops told basically told me that dad has absolute power over my life.He also said that that he will kick me out the next time I listen to "Milkshake" by Kellis.My dad is making me utterly miserable and unhappy and I am thinking of starting to give up on ever making anything of myself.I am full of sorrow.I have almost no hope anymore left.I wish I was never born because of how my dad treats me every day all the time.Mom doesnt stand up for me.Also yall are the only ones on this planet that will hear me out and take me seriously.I am not even allowed to drink beer at home.
22 Dec 2021, 9:58 pm
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
Well dad threatened to kick me out and take away all social media and our computer forever because I said one profane word in a status update on my facebook and my dad cusses all the time in rel life. I wish I did not have to be hugged and kissed all the time by my dad but its legal.The cops told basically told me that dad has absolute power over my life.He also said that that he will kick me out the next time I listen to "Milkshake" by Kellis.My dad is making me utterly miserable and unhappy and I am thinking of starting to give up on ever making anything of myself.I am full of sorrow.I have almost no hope anymore left.I wish I was never born because of how my dad treats me every day all the time.Mom doesnt stand up for me.Also yall are the only ones on this planet that will hear me out and take me seriously.I am not even allowed to drink beer at home.
You have the right to a certain amount of autonomy. Tell your dad in simple English that being hugged and kissed is extremely uncomfortable for you and that he needs to respect your boundaries. If he continues despite clear indications that you do not wish it, it is, at minimum, inconsiderate and invasive. There could also maybe be legal action you could take (would need some research, though).
Unless your parents have filed for legal guardianship, they do not legally have absolute power over your life. Even if they have guardianship, there are limits to their control. Either way, they may have threatened their way into achieving a practical equivalent, but it doesn't have to be that way. You have a right to establish boundaries and exercise some autonomy.
I think my suggestion for this point in time is to work out a written contract with them. Pick you battles; decide what is MOST important to you, and create a give and take where you agree to follow some things they ask that you aren't happy about, while asking them to respect certain boundaries that are important to you. Such a contract will be a negotiation; your parents get to make their own requests, statements and modifications. It goes back and forth until all sides feel they have something they can grudgingly sign agree to. At best, it creates new rules that respond better to your needs. At minimum, it forces a tempered conversation about control and rules and needs. Just sitting down and writing a first draft should allow you to feel some sense of agency, that you are DOING something, while also pushing you to consider what rules you can live with, and which you really need to have changed. The first few drafts are just for you, to help you work out your feelings in a safe and non-confrontational way. Once you've got a solid and measured offer, you can bring the idea up with your parents.
_________________
Mom to an amazing young adult AS son, plus an also amazing non-AS daughter. Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).
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