Kids say the darndest things

Post Reply New Topic

Three of my 8 yr old DS's reading comprehension quizzes came back with a note on them that his answers are "Rude!"

I read through the answers and they say things like "How should I know?" and "The answer is up here." pointing to the previous question (and it was).

And I ask him what he was trying to say. "Well, Mom, I was absent the day they covered that materials, so how should I know?"

Needless to say we had a long talk and explanations and apologies went out to the teacher. LOL

Well, she didn't know he had mild AS until I told her about it after the quiz came home. I wonder if she will read up on it now. LOL

OK I had to ad a few

My DS with ASD at 3: I was heating up some lunch for the boys in our ancient microwave oven when smoke started to pour out of it. DS who is very sensitive to smells jams his fingers up his nose and wails as he is running from the room "There's STINK in my faaace!"

You have to have seen the latest Star Trek moive (the prequel) to appreciate this - when DS was being evaluated by the school psycologist, she was flipping through a book with picutes of common items and asking him to tell her what each item was, like dog, grass, house... Well one picture was of the old-fashioned type of thermometer with the red stuff in the bulb at the bottom. He didn't know the word thermometer but he told her its the thing that "tells how hot". She notes that as a reasonable answer and moves on. After a few more pictures he stops her and makes her turn back to the thermometer. He proceeds to tell her in very animated fashion that if it gets hot the "red matter" will go out the top and the "Enterprise will get away" but if it gets cold the "red matter" will go down and make a "Black Hole!" The psycologist just looked at me mystified. I'm laughing and shaking my head - I explained it to her later!

My mother was at the super market when I was little, and out of nowhere I said "Frozen Fish Sticks 99% fat free".
The look on her face was priceless

The other day my son said something sort of odd (don't remember what now) and then said "Sorry, I'm just a little overrated."

I cracked up today when he asked me, very politely, "Would you please hold my jacket while I chase you?"

I'll have to ask my mom about funny things I said, as I know there are some.

When a friend of mine was small, her dream job was being a cashier at Wal-Mart. She and her mother were in the checkout line, which was manned by an extremely overweight woman. My friend, who was around four years old, said in a very polite tone, "Excuse me? When I grow up, I want to be like you...Not fat like you, I mean I just want your job."

When my daughter was 6 we had a very serious conversation while waiting in line to pick up some Taco Bell. She really wanted a brother or sister so she asked me when did I think I was going to get married and I replied "Not for a very long time." (At this point I'd been divorced from her father for about 1.5 years). She asked why and I told her that I didn't feel like putting up with anyone and that I liked being alone. She got upset and said it was because she wanted a brother or sister and how was she supposed to get one if I wouldn't get married again. She told me I didn't even need to have the baby, that I could marry someone else who already had kids so she could at least have a step brother or sister. When I repeated that I didn't want to have a husband and preferred being alone she got irritated with me. Then she told me "Well, you could get married, stop taking those pills that stop you from getting pregnant. Then, once you get pregnant you could get rid of the man. You don't HAVE to stay married! Then I would have a brother or sister!" I laughed because I could not believe I was having this conversation with a 6 year old - and how the heck did she think up such a plan complete with knowledge of birth control?? Then she got really mad and started crying because I was laughing at her serious plan.

One day at the Chinese restaurant we were sitting there eating and this really overweight guy complete with man boobs was coming around the buffet. I was watching her and I could tell those cogs in her head were churning away in there. Before I could swallow what I had in my mouth and distract her she asked him out loud "Excuse me? I was wondering if you are a man or a woman? I thought you looked like a man, but you have boobs like a woman." I about choked to death while I tried to swallow my mouthful and apologize to the man. I tried to explain to her that that would have hurt his feelings being asked that and she was just like "Well, I just wanted to know."

Your last story reminded me of something cute my little sister did. We went to French camp together one summer, and her age group was taught by a petite, short-haired woman who had a penchant for button-down shirts. Every afternoon, my sister come home and regale everyone with stories about the fun things "Mr. Susan" had taught the class. This went on for four weeks, with my mother thinking all the while that my sister's group had two teachers, the woman who she had met on the first day and a man. At the end of the session, all of the parents were invited to see what their children had learned at an open house. It became quickly apparent that there was actually a single slightly androgynous teacher, who my sister had been calling "Mr. Susan" for an entire month. My mom was SO embarrassed. We still tease my sister about Mr. Susan.

I've had such a laugh reading this thread. I'm sorry I hadn't found it sooner. I love things like this hahaha.

I don't remember a lot of "funny" things I said when I was little, mostly because they weren't funny to me, they were perfectly normal...

One I do remember (because I got in trouble for it) was being 6 in Sunday School and saying something negative about god. My teacher told me to be respectful because some people take god very seriously. I then had the epiphany that the people around me actually thought god existed, and I yelled out "Wait, people actually BELIEVE in god?! I thought everyone was just playing pretend!"
I had to stand out in the hallway for 15 minutes


My ex boyfriend had one that still makes me laugh whenever I think about it.
His mom once told me that when he was a toddler, to prevent the possibility of future phismosis, the doctor gave his parents special baby oil to use to stretch his foreskin every night before bed. He also was a big fan of massages (and still is) but he couldn't pronounce the word, so he called them "smages."

Once when he was 2, he was waiting in line at the grocery store with both his parents and yelled very loudly, "Mommy, I'm tired, when we go home can you give me a smage and rub that oil on my penis?"
Several people were very shocked


EDIT: This is such a long post, I'm sorry, but I just remembered that when I was in high school I used to babysit the 7 year old boy next door to me named George. He doesn't have AS, but I'm certain he could get diagnosed with ADHD in a heart beat.
He used to ask the cutest questions, and of course, being who I am, I can't help but answer him!
Some of my favorite examples:

George: What's a pimp?
Me: Well, do you know what a prostitute is.
Geroge: DUH.
Me: A pimp is like their boss.
George: Ohhhhh! Ok. (long pause) What's a prostitute?

and,

George: What's rape?
Me: When someone sexes another person without asking first. (I said it this way because he didn't know that people "have sex" he thought they "sexed," which was rolling around on the carpet naked lol.)
George: Why do you need permission?
Me: Well, how would you like it if someone sexed you without asking?
George: I guess I wouldn't like it...

His discovery of swear words was adorable too. He must have learned some from school, but not how to use them, because whenever we were waiting to cross the street, he would be upset the cars weren't stopping for us, and yell "You're BS!" at every single passing car

_________________
I'm an author and public speaker on autism, gender, and sexuality
Read my articles @ http://kirstenlindsmith.wordpress.com
Follow updates @ https://www.facebook.com/pages/Kirsten- ... 9135232493

I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't have heard it.

To begin with, my daughter is very imitative of things she hears, even of things from TV and movies. She also has picked up on her mom and dad's love of comic book characters. Well, that saying, one day, we were watching TV with our little girl sitting between us, when out of the blue, she looks up at my wife and asks, "Why don't you f%*&k Doctor Doom?"
As awful as dropping the F bomb was, we couldn't help but erupt into laughter. I asked her what she thought that word meant, and she said it meant "bite." I still don't think she understands that word doesn't mean bite.

-Bill, otherwise known as Kraichgauer

I can think of a few. Eldest Son was a bit slow in the speech department, not enough to be officially "delayed" but we had to work pretty hard to coax words out of him. Right from the start we knew something was different about him. He was always looking up. He'd stare at fans indefinitely until he was taken away or it was. He'd get excited about anything flying or up high.

I'd been trying to get him to say "Mommy" or "Ma". Babies usually start with that sound because it's very easy to say. I think we mothers have hijacked it to be our name, and since babies are usually focused on Mom and/or Dad it works out.

Not for Eldest Son. One night as we were getting out of the van to go inside for the night he finally said his first word. Not "Ma" not "Da" but Moon.

Little Guy didn't speak until he was five and when he did it was a mixed blessing. I think his receptive language skills were always good. He understood and responded to language well, but what would come out when he tried to talk sounded like gobeldy gook to us. At the age of 5 we started to be able to work out some words and at that time we were able to get him into good speech therapy at his new school. He rapidly progressed and began speaking more and more clearly.

It turns out he'd been cussing like a sailor. Nobody had ever corrected him because nobody knew what he was saying. He would do it in sweet happy tones but was using a full range of cuss words correctly. I'm not sure how he learned to do it. I don't cuss a lot and I don't think I know anybody who does. His entire Kindergarten class got quite an education that year.

Kiley