After Age 21, If They Are Still Struggling....

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My son is 22 and still struggling but he's moving forward, continuing to learn how to cope, advancing his education, advancing his knowledge on how to be successful with his delicate temperament, working with me and his father on strategies to deal with meltdowns, but not give up on school. It's work but it's fun work because we see our efforts enhancing his life. He enjoys life and likes himself.

What really bugs me is that now that he is an adult, agencies are involved to help pay for his community needs. Considering what is out there for my son, I think the agencies work on the assumption that if they're still struggling at age 22, they're hopeless and should just go to the movies or stay at home and play War Craft.

The agencies gladly pay for strip clubs and bars. They do nothing to encourage more efforts in doing more with those wonderful ASD misunderstood brains. Creative, smart ASD people are wasted and don't have the confidence or insights that can easily be communicated on their own to tell those agencies to stop treating them like throw away people.

My son tutors other ASD people because he learns more about himself when he has to think about how others think and he, also, hopes he communicates to them to not give up.

That drives me insane that agencies will gladly pay for strip clubs and bars -- geez, can't we shoot for something higher than that?

That is disgusting.

What Agencies are you referring to? There is the Department of Vocational Rehabilitation that pays for college and further degrees, if that his what your son wants to do. From what I understand, with VocRehab you have to prove how wonderful your son is and with a little help from VocRehab, that he could get a wonderful job. SSI, of course, is the exact opposite, and you have to prove to them that he is a loser and could never do anything. Then he gets Medicare/Medicaid. VocRehab only pays to get your son an eventual job, whereas SSI assumes that your son can ever do anything. SSI does not care where you spend your money.

Perhaps you are not in the USA. I am not familiar with other countries. Please tell us which country you are speaking of so that perhaps someone from that country can help you.

Hi,
I had the same problem where,emotionally, I was not ready for work either. Unfortunately, I got stuck on SSI and stuck in an agency. Where I live there are a couple of options for agencies. A person can have the Office of Rehabilitation, where they just give career assessment and and find you a job.
Then they have the agencies for developmentally disabled, where they really do not have career assessments, people just go to a building, sit in noisy units all day, where they really do not have any type of training.The only "training" they have is when they actually have a piecework job and they train them for that specific job, not a real training where they "train" the person for an actual job. I got stuck in one of the developmentally disabled agencies.
My parents went to an Autism center to get me counseling because I was having problems, emotionally, with not being able to work. They have a day/residential program for adults, which they put me in.
Although I was ready to move on my own without assistance, but because I got stuck in these agencies, I got put into a group home, rather than a section 8. The agency I go to also has residential and 'talked" my parents(who agreed with them) into thinking that I was not capable of being on my own without supervision. I have been here for a miserable 7 years(8 years total with that agency).
Now, i am leaving as soon as I get into a section 8 apartment. I have left the day part of the program, now that i am going back to school in September. They never did anything for me because I was too high functioning and they do not understand Asperger's. They only deal with autistic people who also have mental retardation who also have co-morbid psychiatric disorders.
The services they offer are more "childish" compare to what I need, which would be what the Office of Rehabilitation would offer. The developmental disability programs are more "babysitting" that just hand people available jobs(which they choose, not the client), so they can get money.
I would look into all of the options. I would also get so emotional counseling for him as well. I have been through a couple of counselors because they did not know how to handle Asperger's appropriately. Now I have a new counselor, who is awesome and is helping me be able to go back to school. The sad thing is(which is a good thing) that I did the school idea on my own. When i told the agency, they were pretty proud. I also did the section 8 applications on my own, as well. I did all of this to better my life without the agency's help. So pretty much I was at the developmentally disabled agency for nothing. To make matter even more crazier, in September, they are finally having a separate job "training' program strictly for Asperger's, but I am too old. You have to be between ages 18-25, and I am 30(will be 31 in November). The program will offer everything that I needed, just job training skills, career assessment and finally a job. All of the things that the regular developmental disability part of the agency does not offer because the clientele do not have the ability to do these kinds of things.

I wonder if this is something we should try to create an active lobby on. Most of us parents (I think) understand that our children will "grow up" on a prolonged timeline, not by age 18 or 21, but we also KNOW they CAN "grow up" AND become PRODUCTIVE members of society at a high level. Yet, social services programs aren't designed to address delay; they are designed to assume you've got the skills you've got by a certain age or you aren't capable of acquiring them. Society is really shooting itself in the foot when it comes to AS, with that assumption. It should be an easy sell; change your assumptions and a ton of money can be saved. We just have to show that to those who control the purse strings.